Fanfic: "The Student Prince" by FayJay (Pandarus) . [Arthur/Merlin, modern university AU] . [N8]
"The Student Prince" by FayJay (Pandarus)
29.09.2010
14.03.2011 (Listened to podfic once again, and it's one of those case where the author herself reading it's a good thing, FayJay is a wonderful writer and a wonderful reader)
If you're into Merlin and have read "Drastically Redefining Protocol" this is a story on the same line, modern AU where Arthur is the Prince of Wales and Merlin has magic and they somehow meet and fall in love, which causes quite a stirr with the public. In DRP Merlin is a medicine student finishing up his practices, in TSP they (and more than half the cast) are at universtiy together, where they are roomates. I absolutely adore coming out stories, especially the coming out of a public figure that basically lives off their role as role model, the whole: do they owe their people the truth? Do they owe it to themselves? Angsty and delicious.
☀ Merlin laughed shakily. "I don't know," he said. "I never thought I could do something like that. I never wanted to."
"On the whole, I think most people would consider that to be a good thing," said Gaius.
"Yes. But - but it was easy." He swallowed. "It shouldn't be so easy to do something so - big. So final."
Gaius's smile was rueful, almost bitter. "Oh, Merlin. With magic or without, it is always dreadfully, dreadfully easy to do something so big. And bigger. This is the terrible lesson which we never learn from history: hurting other people is never hard, even though it should be."
"Have you ever hurt someone using magic, sir? On purpose, I mean? Have you ever - have you killed anyone?" Merlin couldn't quite believe he was
asking such a thing - but he desperately wanted to know that he wasn't alone in this.
Gaius looked away. "I would like to say no, Merlin. But I'm afraid that would be a lie. Sometimes one does not have the luxury of being the person one would like to be. And sometimes there are no honourable options, and one must choose the least dishonourable."
*M* And then Arthur turned, and looked directly at the camera for the first time, with his chin shoved forward pugnaciously and a reckless gleam in his eyes. "I know it's rather inconvenient of me, in the circumstances, particularly with the whole business of the succession, and being Head of the Church of England - but I'm afraid it won't stop being the truth just because it's inconvenient, and I really don't believe that any good can come of lying to the nation about something so fundamental. I am - gay." He bit his lip, and Merlin caught just a glimpse of the terror Arthur was feeling, before he hid it again.
"You're - I'm sorry, Your Highness, you're using this interview to publicly announce that you are a, uh, a homosexual?" Merlin had never heard that particular combination of astonishment and stifled glee.
Arthur's eyes were following something off camera, and he looked almost like he expected somebody to punch him. He gave a stifled half-laugh with an edge of panic to it, and looked directly over at Martin Bashir. "I'm gay," he said again. "I always thought - I've been raised to think that when my father's great-uncle, King Edward VIII, chose to put his love for Wallis Simpson ahead of his duty to the nation, he did a terrible thing. That duty should always come first. Because we have so much privilege, all these palaces and estates and cars and jewels and servants and things - and all that comes with a price. A king should not put his own selfish desires ahead of the needs of his people. I do believe that with all my heart." He looked down at his hands again, and then back at Bashir. "But I also believe that what makes us worth keeping, in this day and age, when real government is in the hands of elected officials - and quite rightly so - is that we stand for something greater than ourselves alone. We provide a link with the past, but also a link with the future, and we should be the very best we can be. A king should be a man of honour and integrity, and he should not hide safe at home while other men stand in the front lines. I do believe that. I can't - I know that I can't turn back time. I think that I would have been rather good at that old kind of kingship, where they wrapped you up in a few layers of steel and set you on a horse at the head of your men, with a banner flying overhead declaring where you were, and you put your money where your mouth was. But those times are gone, and they aren't coming back, and there will always be other people ready to jump in front of a bullet for me, whether I want them to or not. Whether it's fair or not. I can't change that. So what I can hold on to is this: I can be honest. I can take a stand for my people, for the people like me, the ones in the front line. The ones who don't have bodyguards to protect them from ignorant, hateful bullies, who don't have money and privilege to insulate them from unkind words. I can have the courage to stand up and be honest about who I am, and who I can love, instead of taking the easier path, the expected path. I know that this is going to hurt and disappoint a lot of people. I know that this may mean that I cannot become the Head of the Church of England - that, conceivably, it might even mean I am required to step down from my position as heir to the throne." He sat up straighter, and his voice was shaking just a little, but he kept going. "I never imagined that I would ever give rise to a constitutional crisis, and it does shame me profoundly to be the cause of any such difficulties." His voice grew firmer and more certain, then, and Merlin had never wanted to kiss him more in his life. "But it would shame me more to continue to allow innocent men and women to go on suffering insults, and abuse, and violence, and loss of basic human rights on a daily basis, without joining them on the front line, where an honourable man should be. Where a leader should be. Because I am one of them. I am a gay man, and that isn't going to change."
*M* And then the screen cut again to show Uther Pendragon standing in front of a Christmas tree. The room behind him was decorated like a gilt-edged wedding cake, and Merlin would have been ready to bet that they didn't use pins or bluetack to stick up the Christmas cards they received every year. He bit his lip, looking at the face familiar from stamps and coins and the TV news, and tried to see traces of Arthur in his father's features. He looked tired, Merlin thought, surprised by a sudden moment of sympathy. Tired, and older than he was in Merlin's head, but he stood up straight and stiff-necked, and looked right at the camera as if he were facing a firing squad.
"This is not the speech that I expected to broadcast on Christmas Day, but it is one of the most important ones I have ever made." He gave a rather tense smile. "Two thousand and ten has been a year of many changes for Britain. We have a new government in place, a coalition of two different parties, working together to overcome differences in the name of the greater public good. I have had many meetings with Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg, and feel confident that together they will help Britain to move forward into a brighter tomorrow. Earlier this year I attended a meeting in Trinidad and Tobago along with the Heads of all the Commonwealth countries, and I had the great good fortune to meet some of the young people from these different nations: young men and women of myriad different faiths and philosophies, living in different economic circumstances, but all united in their hope for a better future, a future which will bring peace and stability for themselves and their families.
"I am sure that you join me in hoping and praying for a swift and peaceful resolution to the troubles in Afghanistan, even as we honour our servicemen and women from Great Britain and the rest of the Commonwealth - well over thirteen thousand of them, from Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Singapore - for their great courage, and dignity, and resolve." He looked down at his hands for a moment in a gesture that reminded Merlin almost painfully of Arthur, and then looked back at the camera. "And it is of courage, and dignity, and resolve that I must speak now."
Merlin's knuckles were white around his empty sherry glass. He set it down on the carpet a little shakily, and pulled his knees up in front of his chest, wrapping his arms around them. On the screen, the king pushed his shoulders back and looked directly out of the screen once more.
"In two thousand and ten, I am proud to say that Great Britain is a far more tolerant and liberal-minded country than it was when I was a child. The world has changed around us in many ways, and things that were once unthinkable are now unremarkable. Britain has always been an amalgamation of different cultures and traditions, and modern Britain is more multicultural than ever before. Today our armed forces welcome gay and lesbian volunteers, and honour them for their courage and resolve in being prepared to fight for the country they hold dear. Earlier this year Dr Jeffrey John, a clergyman of great integrity and compassion, became Britain's first openly gay bishop, when he was ordained to the diocese of Southwark. He has received great support from some corners of the community, and has handled the criticism of his opponents with courtesy and aplomb. Meanwhile, overseas, Iceland last year elected the first openly gay head of state of the modern age, Ms Johanna Sigurdardottir." His mouth twitched into another tight smile. "Astonishingly, the world did not come to an end. She continues to lead her country with integrity and wisdom, and earlier this year she married her long time partner, Jónína Leósdóttir, in a ceremony which I was fortunate enough to attend."
He drew a deep breath, and then continued: "And as I am sure you are aware, yesterday the BBC aired its recent interview with my son, the Prince of Wales, in which he revealed that he is gay."
"Here we go!" said Hunith, putting down the box of Quality Street and rubbing her hands together. Merlin buried his face in his knees, and then looked up again, biting his lip.
"...an interview in which he comported himself with unquestionable courage, dignity and resolve," continued Uther. "It does not surprise me that the substance of this interview has given rise to much speculation and debate, since naturally it has implications for the line of succession, as well as for the future king's role within the Church of England. To my people, and to the men and women of the rest of the Commonwealth, I say this: the Prince of Wales is a young man of deep integrity, who takes his duties as a leader and as a role model very much to heart. He is a young man of considerable intelligence, as evidenced by the fact that he was able to earn his own way onto a rigorous degree course at one of the country's oldest and most reputable centres of learning. He is a young man of great bravery, as I have long known from his earnest wish to serve in the armed forces, and as I am now seeing afresh, as he steps forward in the knowledge that simple honesty will cause some people to treat him with contempt and hatred.
"Are you sure he was throwing crockery at David Cameron?" Hunith asked, looking over at Merlin with raised eyebrows.
"Shut up, Mum!" said Merlin, waving a hand vaguely at her in a vague hushing motion, while trying to concentrate on what King Uther was saying on the screen before them.
"Let me make this absolutely clear: Arthur is, and will remain, the heir to the throne. Whether the Church of England finds the prospect of him eventually becoming Head of the Church of England to be tenable or not is of course a matter for the Archbishop of Canterbury and his colleagues to discuss, and it is possible that when he succeeds me as king he will not succeed me as Head of the Church." Uther's voice dropped lower, and his expression grew sterner. "But succeed me he most certainly will."
"Woohoo!" said Hunith, bouncing in her chair. "Looks like your boyfriend still has a job with the family business!"
"Oh, thank God!" said Merlin, shaking his head. "I thought - I was afraid - oh, thank God!"
"Certainly my life, and no doubt his own, would have been simpler if he were able to fall in love with a suitable young lady and provide me with half a dozen grandchildren, as I, and no doubt you, have long expected to be the case," Uther continued. "I feel sure that in previous generations, there would have been no question of being honest with the public in this way; but I am very proud indeed that I have raised a son who would scorn to live a lie, however inconvenient the truth might be." He ducked his head slightly, his mouth quirking up into another brief smile. "On a purely personal note, I have not given up all hope of one day having grandchildren, but I accept that if I am to become a grandfather, it will not be by the traditional method. In terms of the succession, however, I am secure in the knowledge that my niece, the Duchess of Edinburgh, is in excellent health - and although the immediate circle of Pendragons is rather thin on the ground, the House of Pendragon was so-named only in 1917. We have many cousins in Europe who belong to our extended family of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, and I am confident that regardless of whether or not my son raises a family of his own, the line of succession will be perfectly secure.
"Christmas is a time for family, a time for supporting and accepting our loved ones and renewing the ties that bind us together. Our families may surprise us, and they may not always grow in the way that we wish or expect, but they remain family, first and foremost. I hope that we can all honour the spirit of Christmas as a nation, and within the greater family of the Commonwealth, and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year."
The strains of 'God Save The King' filled the air once more, and the camera panned over to the Christmas tree.
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