Lies I told myself (no parents necessary)
I told myself that I wouldn't get caught up in the hype about Twilight. I told myself that I might still be a teenage girl, but even I had better sense than that. I told myself a lot of things, really. And the most confusing part is that now, having read the three books in the Twilight Saga that have been published so far, I'm not sure whether I've listened to myself or not.
I can't say the books wowed me. On the originality scale, they were better than Eragon, though so is 98% of all written material. The writing was decent, even actually good in some parts, but nothing like the imagery of Diane Duane or the powerful voice of Jim Butcher came through. I'd say that in all likelihood, she and I have about the same writing proficiency (which alternately depresses me and provides me with some hope -- because if her writing is that normal and she can get such a big hype going, then surely I have a chance, but I wish I could do better).
The books didn't wow me. But they did something to me. And so here I am writing about it to figure it out, in a few points on which I have had far too many thoughts.
1. Bella
I don't like her. I understand that as a typical teenage girl I'm supposed to feel a lot like she does -- overly clumsy, not confident about my appearance, and oh-so-happy to have such a ridiculously good-looking boyfriend. But I'm sorry, she just annoys me. Because she has it right when she says that she's just Lois Lane in a world full of Supermen. It's not her fault. But she could be so much more interesting. She seems so vanilla to me. I don't sympathize with her...and when the book's told in first person from her point of view, I think that possibly reflects an authorial failing. The thing that bothers me the most about her is how insecure she is. She continually thinks she's not good enough for Edward. And perhaps she isn't. But if there's one thing I've learned about love, it's that it's not about deserving people. If we had to wait to fall in love with people we deserved, there would never be love. So she should take him and not worry about deserving -- not worry that she isn't good enough. If someone loves you like that, the only response you should ever be allowed is to love back, deeply and madly and truly, for as long as it lasts.
2. Edward
I'm not sure I get him. I got a better picture of who Meyer thinks that he is when he made his marriage proposal, and with the reminders that he's an old-school kind of guy...but I still don't really understand where he's coming from. I don't feel like his psychology's consistent, and there are moments when that really bothers me. Also, he's a bastard for leaving her in New Moon. Best intentions be damned. If you love someone you don't leave like that -- not without telling them the truth. Not without giving them at least a chance to make the choice on their own. He's also got that whole self-loathing complex, at least when it comes to Bella, which at least means they're equally matched, but...eh! I can't pin down what it is I don't like about him. I suppose it's because, unlike ninety percent of the teenage girl population, I would not want to date him. I don't see what's attractive about a man whose arms will never warm me, whose talents will always best mine, whose face will always make me doubt the beauty of my own.
2.5 The Other Cullens
I like them. All of them. They are fantastic secondary characters, and I love how the information about them is revealed throughout the course of the stories in a natural way. I think it's great how they all came to vampirism in different ways, and how that makes them into an interesting little family. I think the dynamics within that family are well-drawn. I wish I got the same kind of picture of Edward that I got of them -- maybe then I'd be able to understand him. But I feel like I don't know who he was as a human, and who he was as a young vampire, and I don't get the same objectivity about him that I do about the other characters since it's from Bella's point of view and she's in love with him. Maybe it's the objectivity (more or less) that lets me really enjoy/understand the other Cullens but not him.
3. Jacob
He is my favorite character without a doubt, and the only major one whose psychology seems remotely comprehensible to me. I love him. I hate that Bella can't love him. I hate that she hurts him, but I hate that he wants it. The thing is...there was a decently recent point in my life where it would have been nice to have someone like him around. It's hard to forget what it feels like to be Bella in the middle of New Moon. But it's nice to think that somewhere, Jacob's waiting.
4. Love and Marriage
So she's willing to commit to him making her a vampire but not to marrying him?! I don't understand how she could love him so much to commit to the first while still being afraid of the second. (And possibly it bothers me that she gets the chance to say yes, and there was a time when I would have killed for that.) Her excuse -- that she doesn't want to be "that girl" -- is irrelevant. She's only "that girl" if it isn't love. And she's so adamant that it is.
5. Except It's Not
At least not at first. I can understand Edward loving Bella...the way a druggie loves his heroin. But I don't get why she's so attracted to him at the beginning. "I'm dangerous and you should stay away from me" isn't exactly the best pick-up line I've ever heard. I believe she loves him later. I don't believe she loves him the first time she says that she does.
6. The Birds and the Bees
On a less reverent note, I pose two questions involving the intersection of human physiology and vampirism:
--At the beginning, if Edward can't stand to be around Bella's blood for the fear that he might kill her, what about when she's on her period?
--How exactly do vampires manage to have sex if they have no bloodflow or circulation? Really curious here.
7. And Yet
And yet, despite the fact that I'm not even sure I liked them, something about the books hits me. I don't know if it's just because they're about teenage love and I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I don't know if it's because they're actually good and the hype is at least partially deserved. Whatever the reason, it's probably a good thing that they do something for me, because like it or not, it's all my sister will be talking about for weeks to come. And if I'm going to ComicCon to meet the cast of the movie, and to the midnight release party for Breaking Dawn because my sister needs a ride, I might as well be able to enjoy it.
And now for a completely unrelated but really interesting-looking survey.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
.o1 Candace
.o2 Candycane
.o3 Tigureye
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
.o1 readingredhead (or some variant)
.o2 super_seeker_7
.o3 cgcunard
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
.o1 My hair--particularly its color.
.o2 My eyes.
.o3 Is it a bad thing that it's hard to think of more than two things I like about myself physically?
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
.o1 My stomach fat
.o2 My complete lack of muscles
.o3 Okay, so maybe it's alright that I can't think of more than two things I like if I also can't think of more than two things that I dislike.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
.o1 British
.o2 German
.o3 Russian
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
.o1 Feeling like I'm alone (emotionally more than physically)
.o2 Infinity (on some days)
.o3 Spiders
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
.o1 Words (written, read, or spoken)
.o2 Friends and family
.o3 Time to relax
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
.o1 Old PE shorts from high school
.o2 Old t-shirt, the front of which says "Looking for trouble?" and the back of which says, "You found it."
.o3 Silver ring with a single knot in it
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
.o1 Original Broadway cast of Rent
.o2 Cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (from "Once More With Feeling")
.o3 Cast of Jane Eyre
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
.o1 "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5
.o2 "La Vie Boheme" from Rent
.o3 "Belle (Reprise)" from Beauty and the Beast
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
.o1 Respect
.o2 Trust
.o3 Love
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
.o1 I love the smell of the ocean.
.o2 Jane Eyre is the fictional character I feel most like.
.o3 If I could be anywhere else in the world right now, I would be in London.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
.o1 Long-ish hair, the kind you can run your fingers through but that doesn't need to be put up in a ponytail
.o2 A great smile
.o3 A good-feeling hug (this is very important)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
.o1 Writing
.o2 Reading
.o3 Do I have other hobbies?
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
.o1 Have a long and meaningful conversation with someone I haven't seen in a while
.o2 Write the next great American novel
.o3 Sleep
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
.o1 Writer
.o2 English teacher
.o3 Editor/Publisher (for books and nothing else)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
.o1 the East Coast
.o2 Ireland
.o3 Greece
THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
.o1 Elizabeth
.o2 Michael
.o3 Katherine
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
.o1 Publish a novel
.o2 Marry the man of my dreams
.o3 Leave the world a better place than I found it
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY/GIRL:
.o1 I cry a lot
.o2 I'm a sucker for romance
.o3 I'm not physically strong
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY/GIRL (OPPOSITE SEX):
.o1 I almost never wear make-up
.o2 I can be very aggressive and argumentative
.o3 I am capable of repairing all of my technological gadgets
I can't say the books wowed me. On the originality scale, they were better than Eragon, though so is 98% of all written material. The writing was decent, even actually good in some parts, but nothing like the imagery of Diane Duane or the powerful voice of Jim Butcher came through. I'd say that in all likelihood, she and I have about the same writing proficiency (which alternately depresses me and provides me with some hope -- because if her writing is that normal and she can get such a big hype going, then surely I have a chance, but I wish I could do better).
The books didn't wow me. But they did something to me. And so here I am writing about it to figure it out, in a few points on which I have had far too many thoughts.
1. Bella
I don't like her. I understand that as a typical teenage girl I'm supposed to feel a lot like she does -- overly clumsy, not confident about my appearance, and oh-so-happy to have such a ridiculously good-looking boyfriend. But I'm sorry, she just annoys me. Because she has it right when she says that she's just Lois Lane in a world full of Supermen. It's not her fault. But she could be so much more interesting. She seems so vanilla to me. I don't sympathize with her...and when the book's told in first person from her point of view, I think that possibly reflects an authorial failing. The thing that bothers me the most about her is how insecure she is. She continually thinks she's not good enough for Edward. And perhaps she isn't. But if there's one thing I've learned about love, it's that it's not about deserving people. If we had to wait to fall in love with people we deserved, there would never be love. So she should take him and not worry about deserving -- not worry that she isn't good enough. If someone loves you like that, the only response you should ever be allowed is to love back, deeply and madly and truly, for as long as it lasts.
2. Edward
I'm not sure I get him. I got a better picture of who Meyer thinks that he is when he made his marriage proposal, and with the reminders that he's an old-school kind of guy...but I still don't really understand where he's coming from. I don't feel like his psychology's consistent, and there are moments when that really bothers me. Also, he's a bastard for leaving her in New Moon. Best intentions be damned. If you love someone you don't leave like that -- not without telling them the truth. Not without giving them at least a chance to make the choice on their own. He's also got that whole self-loathing complex, at least when it comes to Bella, which at least means they're equally matched, but...eh! I can't pin down what it is I don't like about him. I suppose it's because, unlike ninety percent of the teenage girl population, I would not want to date him. I don't see what's attractive about a man whose arms will never warm me, whose talents will always best mine, whose face will always make me doubt the beauty of my own.
2.5 The Other Cullens
I like them. All of them. They are fantastic secondary characters, and I love how the information about them is revealed throughout the course of the stories in a natural way. I think it's great how they all came to vampirism in different ways, and how that makes them into an interesting little family. I think the dynamics within that family are well-drawn. I wish I got the same kind of picture of Edward that I got of them -- maybe then I'd be able to understand him. But I feel like I don't know who he was as a human, and who he was as a young vampire, and I don't get the same objectivity about him that I do about the other characters since it's from Bella's point of view and she's in love with him. Maybe it's the objectivity (more or less) that lets me really enjoy/understand the other Cullens but not him.
3. Jacob
He is my favorite character without a doubt, and the only major one whose psychology seems remotely comprehensible to me. I love him. I hate that Bella can't love him. I hate that she hurts him, but I hate that he wants it. The thing is...there was a decently recent point in my life where it would have been nice to have someone like him around. It's hard to forget what it feels like to be Bella in the middle of New Moon. But it's nice to think that somewhere, Jacob's waiting.
4. Love and Marriage
So she's willing to commit to him making her a vampire but not to marrying him?! I don't understand how she could love him so much to commit to the first while still being afraid of the second. (And possibly it bothers me that she gets the chance to say yes, and there was a time when I would have killed for that.) Her excuse -- that she doesn't want to be "that girl" -- is irrelevant. She's only "that girl" if it isn't love. And she's so adamant that it is.
5. Except It's Not
At least not at first. I can understand Edward loving Bella...the way a druggie loves his heroin. But I don't get why she's so attracted to him at the beginning. "I'm dangerous and you should stay away from me" isn't exactly the best pick-up line I've ever heard. I believe she loves him later. I don't believe she loves him the first time she says that she does.
6. The Birds and the Bees
On a less reverent note, I pose two questions involving the intersection of human physiology and vampirism:
--At the beginning, if Edward can't stand to be around Bella's blood for the fear that he might kill her, what about when she's on her period?
--How exactly do vampires manage to have sex if they have no bloodflow or circulation? Really curious here.
7. And Yet
And yet, despite the fact that I'm not even sure I liked them, something about the books hits me. I don't know if it's just because they're about teenage love and I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I don't know if it's because they're actually good and the hype is at least partially deserved. Whatever the reason, it's probably a good thing that they do something for me, because like it or not, it's all my sister will be talking about for weeks to come. And if I'm going to ComicCon to meet the cast of the movie, and to the midnight release party for Breaking Dawn because my sister needs a ride, I might as well be able to enjoy it.
And now for a completely unrelated but really interesting-looking survey.
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
.o1 Candace
.o2 Candycane
.o3 Tigureye
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
.o1 readingredhead (or some variant)
.o2 super_seeker_7
.o3 cgcunard
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
.o1 My hair--particularly its color.
.o2 My eyes.
.o3 Is it a bad thing that it's hard to think of more than two things I like about myself physically?
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
.o1 My stomach fat
.o2 My complete lack of muscles
.o3 Okay, so maybe it's alright that I can't think of more than two things I like if I also can't think of more than two things that I dislike.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
.o1 British
.o2 German
.o3 Russian
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
.o1 Feeling like I'm alone (emotionally more than physically)
.o2 Infinity (on some days)
.o3 Spiders
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
.o1 Words (written, read, or spoken)
.o2 Friends and family
.o3 Time to relax
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
.o1 Old PE shorts from high school
.o2 Old t-shirt, the front of which says "Looking for trouble?" and the back of which says, "You found it."
.o3 Silver ring with a single knot in it
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
.o1 Original Broadway cast of Rent
.o2 Cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (from "Once More With Feeling")
.o3 Cast of Jane Eyre
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
.o1 "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5
.o2 "La Vie Boheme" from Rent
.o3 "Belle (Reprise)" from Beauty and the Beast
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
.o1 Respect
.o2 Trust
.o3 Love
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
.o1 I love the smell of the ocean.
.o2 Jane Eyre is the fictional character I feel most like.
.o3 If I could be anywhere else in the world right now, I would be in London.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
.o1 Long-ish hair, the kind you can run your fingers through but that doesn't need to be put up in a ponytail
.o2 A great smile
.o3 A good-feeling hug (this is very important)
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
.o1 Writing
.o2 Reading
.o3 Do I have other hobbies?
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
.o1 Have a long and meaningful conversation with someone I haven't seen in a while
.o2 Write the next great American novel
.o3 Sleep
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
.o1 Writer
.o2 English teacher
.o3 Editor/Publisher (for books and nothing else)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
.o1 the East Coast
.o2 Ireland
.o3 Greece
THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
.o1 Elizabeth
.o2 Michael
.o3 Katherine
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
.o1 Publish a novel
.o2 Marry the man of my dreams
.o3 Leave the world a better place than I found it
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY/GIRL:
.o1 I cry a lot
.o2 I'm a sucker for romance
.o3 I'm not physically strong
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY/GIRL (OPPOSITE SEX):
.o1 I almost never wear make-up
.o2 I can be very aggressive and argumentative
.o3 I am capable of repairing all of my technological gadgets