Title: Did You Miss Me While You Were Looking For Yourself Out There
Rating: R
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Sam/Kurt
Genre: Romance
Warning: Swearing
Spoilers: 2x17
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did, this would totally happen, but noooooooo, Klainers are getting their hopes up.
Summary: Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
Word Count: ~1,400
He was nervous.
He was so beyond nervous because Kurt was jut sitting there all perfect and beautiful and laughing with Mercedes without a care in the world, and he was just Sam. Just Sam that liked comic books and video games and couldn't read or write well and was too obsessed with looking good. Too wrapped up in his world of hurt to be any good to anyone.
Santana's hand found his thigh, as though she knew what he was thinking. She probably did, actually, and he thought about how bizarre it was for her to be the closest thing to a friend he had, what with the whole mouth comments and all. But really, it didn't feel wrong at all. They understood each other, in a strange way, and he was oddly comforted by that. She didn't even have to speak: she gave him a gentle smile and rubbed his thigh platonically, and somehow, it made him feel better.
"Sam, you're up." Mr. Schue's voice was cheerful, as though excited to see what Sam came up with. As though he wasn't about to possibly ruin Sam's life.
Emotional purging is what he called it. Everyone was supposed to pick a song that expressed what had been bugging them. Rachel's choice of Unbreak My Heart was obvious and expected, but somehow hit deeper than normal, and the meaning behind Tina's rendition of But I Do Love You was not lost on anyone, save for Mike. Sam knew he should have chosen some stupid song about self image instead of listening to Santana, but for some reason, he just felt like he had to sing this.
Standing up and grabbing his guitar, he took a slow, deep breath and closed his eyes, imagining he was in his bedroom alone instead of the choir room before re-opening his eyes and beginning.
Well now he's back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in his hair, he acts like summer and walks like rain, reminds me that there's time to change, seeing the return of his stay on the moon, he listens like spring and he talks like June
Looking up from his guitar, he saw a crowd of surprised faces, Santana's knowing smile, and Kurt... Kurt didn't seem to notice. He grinned in an approving fashion, but must have believed Sam was talking about someone else. Stepping forward, he watched Santana's nod of reassurance before looking into those bright, blue eyes and just letting go.
Tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded and that heaven is overrated? Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar and did you miss me while you were looking for yoursef out there?
Sam cringed hard at the thought of Blaine; gorgeous, dapper, perfect Blaine Anderson and his goddamn fantastic voice and fucking amazing way with words. Sam wanted to punch that kid so badly, even though it was his own fault for not taking Kurt when he had the chance. He wasn't letting any more chances slide past him; he was tired of being lonely and alone. To be able to say Santana Lopez was his best (and only) friend didn't quite feel like something he should be proud of.
Now that he's back from that soul vacation tracing his way through the constellation, he checks out mozart while he does ta-bo, reminds me that there's room to grow. Now that he's back in the atmosphere, I'm afraid that he might think of me as plain 'ole Jane, told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land.
Dalton had changed Kurt, Sam could tell. Hell, it changed him when he was there. He was so thankful Kurt made his way through and hadn't lost who he was. He'd obviously grown up some in the past few months he was gone, but Sam knew exactly who was at fault there.
While he was fairly confident at the moment, there was this nagging in the back of his mind. Kurt was currently giving him a glassy, confused-and-a-little-awed look, but Sam wasn't his type. He was a stupid jock who knew nothing about musicals and the difference between Kevin Klein and Alexander McWhatever. Kurt would probably be too afraid of him running off with a girl to want to be with him.
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day and head back to the milky way? And tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
Sam started to lose his nerve as Kurt continued to give him this look of confusion, the one where you aren't sure what to make of a person. He was tired of being judged, of having to change and conform to people's expectations, and he knew he'd have to do just that if he ever had any chance of swaying one Kurt Hummel. Stopping mid-bridge, he turned, taking the guitar off his shoulders and setting it on the piano as he ran out of the room.
He eventually made it to the astronomy room, curling up in the corner beneath a mobile of the planets. Fuck Karofsky, fuck Blaine, fuck everyone for stereotypes and generalizations and all this other fuckery. His heart literally ached as he sat there, wondering what it'd be like to be able to hold the smaller boy in his arms, to kiss him between classes or just hold his hand at lunch. He wondered if he'd ever get to feel any of it, if he'd be brave enough to let himself have it. If he'd be good enough to have it.
He wasn't good enough, if he was being honest. He'd just ran away, for God's sake, in the middle of his song no less. Running through the rest of the day's schedule in his head, he figured he'd at least be able to avoid Kurt until last period, by which time he might be able to plead temporary insanity or something. It seriously made him cringe, how much of a loser he was. Everything he wanted to say was right at the tip of his tongue, oe neu nga, nga lor, kawkrr latem, nga yawne lu oer, and how lame was he that he could only say these things in Na'vi? Kurt didn't deserve that. No one did, really.
When the bell rang, he sucked up the rest of his dignity and made his way out of the classroom towards his locker. He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to lay low, but winced as Mercedes came around a corner, spotted him, and instantly hurried over.
"What the hell was that all about, white boy?!" She questioned, hands on her hips. Sam swallowed hard, not really sure what he could say that would stop Mercedes from cutting him down instantaneously.
Ruffling his hair slightly, he grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "I can honestly say I have no fucking clue."
"Well, you better be looking for my boo right now." Narrowing her eyes, she took a step towards him. "If you arent' up on that fine piece of man by the end of the day, we will have words." Since he figured he could safely assume 'words' meant 'her pumps up his ass,' he nodded, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when she turned to walk away. Mercedes may have been short, but she was a whole lot of scary woman. He groaned as he continued to his locker; now he actually had to do something about all of this.
Turning at the next hall,h e decided to take a detour. It wasn't long before he spotted the familiar pompadour and eccentric cltohign style, and he took a deep breath before walking up.
"Hey." He greeted, trying to seem as cool and calm as possible. Kurt turned to look at him, and a surprised look crossed his face momentarily before he smiled gently.
"Sam, hey!" The ache in Sam's heart turned to a dull throbbing, and his fingers twitched in an urge to touch, but he didn't dare move.
"I just... um, I wanted to explain. I kind of-" Sam abruptly stopped talking as Kurt reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder. The gentle hand moved over his shoulder towards his neck, then grazed down his chest before Kurt took a step forward, glancing up at him through his eyelashes before leaning forward and placing a light, almost non-existent kiss on Sam's lips.
"I'm late for Bio, but you'll be there to walk me to lunch after, right?" He asked. A wide grin spread across Sam's face instantly.
"I totally will."