Misadventures with doors, locks, fences and neighbours...
I was visiting my mother today, who lives in a semi-rural village on the beach outside Cardiff. She's a very active, outdoorsy type, who walks two lots of dogs daily over varied terrain. Our habit on Sundays is that I accompany her on the first walk then chill in her house and babysit dog-set A whilst she walks dog-set B with my uncle. So today, she had just set off with dog-set B when the doorbell rang. There are two front doors, an inner one and an outer one. I opened the inner one and closed it behind me automatically, realizing to my horror that I'd just locked myself out, even as I opened the outer one.
My mother's new neighbour stood on the doorstep.
"Excuse me," she said, "But my children have just locked me out. Could I climb over your fence?"
"Well I'm sure you could," I said to this person I had never met before, "I mean, I don't live here, and my mum's out, and actually I think I've just locked myself out too, but sure, go ahead!"
"You've locked yourself out too? Oh I'm so sorry!"
"Er it's not your fault!" I said.
The neighbour went around to climb over one part of the fence and I went to see if there were any open windows. There weren't.
I went and knocked on the neighbour's door, who was now in her house. I had no shoes on.
"Er, hi again," I said. "This is a very strange turn of events, but can I do the same thing?"
"Of course!" she said, so I went out her garden and we found a spot of fence where the brambles on my mum's side were not particularly high. The fence comes up to my chin.
"Er, I haven't gotten any stools or anything," said the neighbour, who had just moved in, "Shall I give you a boost?"
I looked dubious. I'm pretty petite, 5"3 and 108-110lbs, but this woman was *tiny*, probably a hundred pounds even, and I didn't really see how that scenario was going to work out.
"I don't want to hurt you," I offered.
"Oh you won't," she said.
Meanwhile her two small children were running around shouting 'WHY IS EVERYONE LOCKING THEMSELVES OUT?" and dog-set A are barking enthusiastically in the garden. Neighbour insits on attempting the boost, which as predicted, failed.
Then, neighbour's husband or partner appears from the house, raising the question in my mind of why HE didn't unlock the door for original neighbour, thus preventing this whole scenario. He's a pretty big guy and offers,
"Shall I climb over? What are the dogs like?" To which I had to admit that whilst the male was fine, I couldn't swear to the female being safe with a stranger climbing over the fence. She's pretty feisty.
"I could lift you over, if you don't mind," he said, and in retrospect I'm sure he could have, but bearing in mind the previous failed attempt, I said,
"Are you sure? I think I'm heavier than I look!" and he said,
"Oh ok, the thing is we don't have any stools here yet..."
"We've got a canvas chair," said original neighbour, which she fetched, and which thankfully proved sturdy enough to boost me into STRADDLING the fence. Where I....pondered my next move. Original neighbour passed me the chair and I dropped it into my mother's garden, stepped onto it, than handed it back over the fence. At which point I hurriedly and embarrasedly retreated to the (unlocked) back door, to resounding shouts of,
"WHY IS EVERYONE LOCKING THEMSLEVES OUT TODAY?"
My socks are wet.
My mother's new neighbour stood on the doorstep.
"Excuse me," she said, "But my children have just locked me out. Could I climb over your fence?"
"Well I'm sure you could," I said to this person I had never met before, "I mean, I don't live here, and my mum's out, and actually I think I've just locked myself out too, but sure, go ahead!"
"You've locked yourself out too? Oh I'm so sorry!"
"Er it's not your fault!" I said.
The neighbour went around to climb over one part of the fence and I went to see if there were any open windows. There weren't.
I went and knocked on the neighbour's door, who was now in her house. I had no shoes on.
"Er, hi again," I said. "This is a very strange turn of events, but can I do the same thing?"
"Of course!" she said, so I went out her garden and we found a spot of fence where the brambles on my mum's side were not particularly high. The fence comes up to my chin.
"Er, I haven't gotten any stools or anything," said the neighbour, who had just moved in, "Shall I give you a boost?"
I looked dubious. I'm pretty petite, 5"3 and 108-110lbs, but this woman was *tiny*, probably a hundred pounds even, and I didn't really see how that scenario was going to work out.
"I don't want to hurt you," I offered.
"Oh you won't," she said.
Meanwhile her two small children were running around shouting 'WHY IS EVERYONE LOCKING THEMSELVES OUT?" and dog-set A are barking enthusiastically in the garden. Neighbour insits on attempting the boost, which as predicted, failed.
Then, neighbour's husband or partner appears from the house, raising the question in my mind of why HE didn't unlock the door for original neighbour, thus preventing this whole scenario. He's a pretty big guy and offers,
"Shall I climb over? What are the dogs like?" To which I had to admit that whilst the male was fine, I couldn't swear to the female being safe with a stranger climbing over the fence. She's pretty feisty.
"I could lift you over, if you don't mind," he said, and in retrospect I'm sure he could have, but bearing in mind the previous failed attempt, I said,
"Are you sure? I think I'm heavier than I look!" and he said,
"Oh ok, the thing is we don't have any stools here yet..."
"We've got a canvas chair," said original neighbour, which she fetched, and which thankfully proved sturdy enough to boost me into STRADDLING the fence. Where I....pondered my next move. Original neighbour passed me the chair and I dropped it into my mother's garden, stepped onto it, than handed it back over the fence. At which point I hurriedly and embarrasedly retreated to the (unlocked) back door, to resounding shouts of,
"WHY IS EVERYONE LOCKING THEMSLEVES OUT TODAY?"
My socks are wet.