(no subject)
Okay.
I deleted all my previous journal entries and I'm going to start afresh. I suppose the (2) people that view this page will be wondering why, so I'll tell you.
For the last year, my life has been pretty much, a vast spread of nothingness. I have done nothing with my life, and life has not thrown anything at me.
Now, when I say I've done nothing, I really do mean it - I don't mean "I just went to work, came back, did stuff" - as most people would mean...What I'm talking about is genuine lassitude. I have gotten into the habit of sleeping 14 hours a day, and then spending my waking moments doing the bare minimum required to live. This does not make for a particularly thrilling journal (or mental health and stability, for that matter), as you can imagine.
However. Today, today things have changed. A spark. A trigger that will lead to the reconstruction of my life. We have laid down a deposit on a flat, on the other side of the country. Yes, I know that it's not really such a world-shattering event, but for me, it's really something.
I have lived in this village for 13 of my 17 years, and for the previous 5 years, I have hardly been able to stand it. I had to get out. It was essential for my wellbeing - I don't wish to explain what happened, which left me feeling that way - but it doesn't matter, the end result matters. The result was a pretty extreme depression, loneliness, pain. I may only be 17 years old, but I know the difference between teenage angst and 5 years of genuine, medical depression.
Back to today. My flat. I will be moving to Liverpool, in just over a month. I will be near to people that care for me, as I do them, and it will help.
It's a new beginning.
There is one slight difficulty with moving away - that is, I will lose my personal internet access. I will be able to get online at friends' houses, college, etc, but it won't be anywhere near as often, as I am now.
This could actually prove itself to be a good thing, for anyone that visits. If I'm online less, I will live more, and I'll have more to write about, when I do update.
So, my first new update. Yes, we made the arrangements for my flat. My parents are going to be the official tenants, but I'm the one living there. It's in a decent, safe area, and it's fully furnished - less things to worry about.
All my CDs are packed and boxed, as are the various "essentials" I purchased from IKEA, a few weeks back. I have yet to sort out my clothes, and pack them, because, in a fortnight I am taking a trip to London.
I'm going to see The Cure at Hyde Park, and I will get to meet my beloved Kat. It should be fun-in-a-jar. I'll try and remember to take photos, and upload them somewhere so you buggers can see.
Also, I stretched my left ear to 8mm (0ga). I'm pleased. Very pleased. My body is actually obeying me, for once, and stretching in a place I'd like it to, rather than my arse, thighs, etc. I'm currently wearing a rather lovely palm wood tunnel, which I ordered from here.
Yes. A good day, today.
I deleted all my previous journal entries and I'm going to start afresh. I suppose the (2) people that view this page will be wondering why, so I'll tell you.
For the last year, my life has been pretty much, a vast spread of nothingness. I have done nothing with my life, and life has not thrown anything at me.
Now, when I say I've done nothing, I really do mean it - I don't mean "I just went to work, came back, did stuff" - as most people would mean...What I'm talking about is genuine lassitude. I have gotten into the habit of sleeping 14 hours a day, and then spending my waking moments doing the bare minimum required to live. This does not make for a particularly thrilling journal (or mental health and stability, for that matter), as you can imagine.
However. Today, today things have changed. A spark. A trigger that will lead to the reconstruction of my life. We have laid down a deposit on a flat, on the other side of the country. Yes, I know that it's not really such a world-shattering event, but for me, it's really something.
I have lived in this village for 13 of my 17 years, and for the previous 5 years, I have hardly been able to stand it. I had to get out. It was essential for my wellbeing - I don't wish to explain what happened, which left me feeling that way - but it doesn't matter, the end result matters. The result was a pretty extreme depression, loneliness, pain. I may only be 17 years old, but I know the difference between teenage angst and 5 years of genuine, medical depression.
Back to today. My flat. I will be moving to Liverpool, in just over a month. I will be near to people that care for me, as I do them, and it will help.
It's a new beginning.
There is one slight difficulty with moving away - that is, I will lose my personal internet access. I will be able to get online at friends' houses, college, etc, but it won't be anywhere near as often, as I am now.
This could actually prove itself to be a good thing, for anyone that visits. If I'm online less, I will live more, and I'll have more to write about, when I do update.
So, my first new update. Yes, we made the arrangements for my flat. My parents are going to be the official tenants, but I'm the one living there. It's in a decent, safe area, and it's fully furnished - less things to worry about.
All my CDs are packed and boxed, as are the various "essentials" I purchased from IKEA, a few weeks back. I have yet to sort out my clothes, and pack them, because, in a fortnight I am taking a trip to London.
I'm going to see The Cure at Hyde Park, and I will get to meet my beloved Kat. It should be fun-in-a-jar. I'll try and remember to take photos, and upload them somewhere so you buggers can see.
Also, I stretched my left ear to 8mm (0ga). I'm pleased. Very pleased. My body is actually obeying me, for once, and stretching in a place I'd like it to, rather than my arse, thighs, etc. I'm currently wearing a rather lovely palm wood tunnel, which I ordered from here.
Yes. A good day, today.