(no subject)
This is a post full of self-pity, so by all means, skip over this if you don't want to hear about it.
Today is one of the worst days I've had in probably a year.
I hurt, physically.
And emotionally... well, right now I feel like I could kill myself and no one would take time out of their busy, eventful, perfect freaking lives to come to my funeral. But don't worry, I won't do that. I just feel that bad about myself right now.
I guess it's just that for a while I was (at least supposedly) someone's number one. And then it was gone. And I don't miss him so much as I do miss the position, the security... the love. And everyone elses life goes on, and I'm just stuck in my little rut, negative and alone.
Now Kelli, I know you are all saying, that isn't true. But sometimes I guess I just need to throw my little pity party and pretned no one likes me. I hope this feeling doesn't stay longer than the night, really.
*sigh*
Today is one of the worst days I've had in probably a year.
I hurt, physically.
And emotionally... well, right now I feel like I could kill myself and no one would take time out of their busy, eventful, perfect freaking lives to come to my funeral. But don't worry, I won't do that. I just feel that bad about myself right now.
I guess it's just that for a while I was (at least supposedly) someone's number one. And then it was gone. And I don't miss him so much as I do miss the position, the security... the love. And everyone elses life goes on, and I'm just stuck in my little rut, negative and alone.
Now Kelli, I know you are all saying, that isn't true. But sometimes I guess I just need to throw my little pity party and pretned no one likes me. I hope this feeling doesn't stay longer than the night, really.
*sigh*