What's up Livejournal?
I'm on the verge of a very intense breakdown that I can not afford to have....
I can't afford school next year. Actually I can't really afford school next semester. Actually I've barely been able to pay for school up until now, and even then I've been taking as few loans as I can.
And I know theres more loans and all that jazz...but heres my concern...I have no savings anymore. The savings that I worked for since I was 16 got completely washed up in my car and my rent this year. So what now? I'm going to graduate in a little over a year and a half and have no money to my name and a pile of loans to pay off?
And what really pisses me off is that I really just want to be a kid. I want to go out with my friends. I want to take a roadtrip or vacation. I want to be able to study abroad. But hard core facts...I'm taking 19 credits this semester quite honestly I haven't made new friends since freshmen year simply because I don't have time for friends and I can't afford shit. I feel like I don't really have too many friends up here anymore because theres no time, and theres no time because I took on this insane workload, and I took on this insane workload to cut a semester off my graduating time to save money.
And I wish I was smarter, or talented or something that could help me out of this hole. I'm such a mess right now its ridiculous. And my mother is no help. Shes constantly bringing these things up. Or constantly telling me I shouldn't be spending money for whatever...but what am I going to do? Quit school? Be homeless? Not eat? I've never been a reckless kid, I've never even been a reckless spender. Do you know I dont own a single pair of jeans over $20?
All I want is to be my age, and live in the moment.
I can't afford school next year. Actually I can't really afford school next semester. Actually I've barely been able to pay for school up until now, and even then I've been taking as few loans as I can.
And I know theres more loans and all that jazz...but heres my concern...I have no savings anymore. The savings that I worked for since I was 16 got completely washed up in my car and my rent this year. So what now? I'm going to graduate in a little over a year and a half and have no money to my name and a pile of loans to pay off?
And what really pisses me off is that I really just want to be a kid. I want to go out with my friends. I want to take a roadtrip or vacation. I want to be able to study abroad. But hard core facts...I'm taking 19 credits this semester quite honestly I haven't made new friends since freshmen year simply because I don't have time for friends and I can't afford shit. I feel like I don't really have too many friends up here anymore because theres no time, and theres no time because I took on this insane workload, and I took on this insane workload to cut a semester off my graduating time to save money.
And I wish I was smarter, or talented or something that could help me out of this hole. I'm such a mess right now its ridiculous. And my mother is no help. Shes constantly bringing these things up. Or constantly telling me I shouldn't be spending money for whatever...but what am I going to do? Quit school? Be homeless? Not eat? I've never been a reckless kid, I've never even been a reckless spender. Do you know I dont own a single pair of jeans over $20?
All I want is to be my age, and live in the moment.