pirates of the caribbean: on stranger tides
The girl and I just got back. Some thoughts:
1. The first twenty-five minutes is just an attempt to distract you from the fact the movie has no idea what the fuck it's doing. It's confused. It wants to get over with quickly and burst into plot, of which there is either too much or not enough of, depending on how drunk you wish you were.
2.IAN MCSHANE. And this is the crux of it, right here. This is why it pains me to have to tell you this movie sucked. Because I don't know how that's even possible when you have Ian-Fucking-McShane playing a goddamn voodoo pirate from hell. Just point the fucking camera at him and let him do what comes naturally: STONE COLD BADASSERY. But no.
3. The mermaids were awesome.
4. Cleric is a buzz kill. Just, full stop. I was happy when he died and saddened when he got better and then happy again when he died a second time.
5. Angelica could have been a cut-throat motherfucker. But no.
6. Black Beard and Barbarossa's mutual blood lust should have been the movie and sadly, that is not the movie.
1. The first twenty-five minutes is just an attempt to distract you from the fact the movie has no idea what the fuck it's doing. It's confused. It wants to get over with quickly and burst into plot, of which there is either too much or not enough of, depending on how drunk you wish you were.
2.IAN MCSHANE. And this is the crux of it, right here. This is why it pains me to have to tell you this movie sucked. Because I don't know how that's even possible when you have Ian-Fucking-McShane playing a goddamn voodoo pirate from hell. Just point the fucking camera at him and let him do what comes naturally: STONE COLD BADASSERY. But no.
3. The mermaids were awesome.
4. Cleric is a buzz kill. Just, full stop. I was happy when he died and saddened when he got better and then happy again when he died a second time.
5. Angelica could have been a cut-throat motherfucker. But no.
6. Black Beard and Barbarossa's mutual blood lust should have been the movie and sadly, that is not the movie.