(no subject)
relationship test #3:
jake and sally are engaged. even though it goes against their modern-day, who-gives-a-shit-what-the-plates-look-like, why-are-we-bothering grain, they finally cave to convention and agree to register for kitchen items at bloomingdale's. a saturday is put aside to accomplish this archaic task. things grow difficult when they find they cannot agree on a pattern for their dishes. jake wants something traditional, something reminiscent of the platters and plates his grandmother used to set out for family gatherings. sally wishes for something with a contemporary look, and is intrigued by the asian-influenced plates that to jake hardly resemble plates at all. there, in the heart of the housewares department at bloomingdale's, they begin to bicker, sally wondering when in the world it became her husband's business what fucking pattern is picked for the registry, jake replying that he had no idea his wife still considered such old-fashioned sexist notions palatable.
you advise the engaged couple to:
a. break up immediately.
b. agree on a pattern that neither of them particularly likes but that neither finds particularly objectionable either, with the knowledge that for the rest of their married lives together, they will have to eat off the same unliked yet nonobjectionable plates every single day, and will thereby be constantly reminded of the ominous fight they once had in the housewares department of bloomingdale's, back when there was still time to call the whole thing off, before they were stuck once and for all not only with the plates but with each other.