I was walking with Maphy yesterday along Dapitan at around 6pm and suddenly I stopped and said "Maphy, i'm feeling something..." She asked me what it is and I said "The christmas breeze."
Yes, it's near and happiness is coming to an end. I dunno. I feel so terrified when Christmas season is around the corner. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited for Christmas, heck, who isn't? Spending it with my family and relatives (my cousins most specially) makes the wait for another year worth while. But you don't get happiness from them alone, do you? I feel like something's missing from me. And I have a strong feeling that something I have right now will be taken away sooner than I think. I praying it's not Carl!
Honestly, my eyes get teary when I hear the songs "Pasko Na Sinta Ko" and "My Grown-Up Christmas List." And apparently, one of my favorite Christmas songs is playing everywhere right now, it's by J.M.Chan and it goes like "I can't think of a better christmas than to spend it with you..."
And my good "old" friend Miguel (the one in my post "Thursday's Public Affair") is leaving for the States this month. The first time he moved out on a Christmas was in 2001 and he left me with the song "Ang Disyembre ko ay malungkot, 'pagkat miss kita..." and it sums up why these songs make me cry.
On the lighter note, I've had my most romantic Christmas in 2001 with Jerson Aquino. I remembered how I sneaked out after the Noche Buena and went to a park in Marikina at 3am and we spent the Christmas morning with some tetra-packed milk and oreo. I'm expecting more from my relationship with Carl, I mean, come to think of it- I was 14 that time, now I'm 19, Carl's 17- it's about time I let him experience a happy christmas. It gots to be with me :)
I'm close to crying! Now all happy thoughts are busting in like crazy! I miss elementary Christmas when we used to celebrate Christmas Parties, eat spaghetti, programs, contests, dance to Aqua and Backstreet Boys! I miss exchange gifts! I miss the high school holidays when we used to save 500 and spend it on a day-full of chocolates and chicken joys. I miss my teachers. Everything's different now.
Merry Christmas everyone!