So....
i just got done watching 50 first dates cuz i can't sleep.. and while i was watching it i came to a realization that after all these years of me fighting for what i want...i actually gave in for once. and it hurts so bad but i know that it was the right thing to do. i think it's more regret on why didn't i put up a fight this time..i think it's cuz i kinda know it's a battle that i probably couldn't win.. there is only one more thing that would make my life complete right now, but i can't have it. i've got my family that loves me, amazing friends, a good but hyper active pup... but like i said i now have a regret in my life...and it's that i didn't try to fight this one time. my lil brother tells me to give it time and things will work the way they are suppose to.. but what really sucks is that my lil brother isn't here to catch my tears on his shoulder like he's done so many times before. and tell me that everything is going be ok and work the way it's suppose to and then give me a great big hug...his words over the phone are somewhat reassuring...but it's not the same..he is the only one who can bring light on my whole situation..but now me and him will be reduced to emailing each so he can reassure me..cuz he gets shipped out on oct. 2... i just don't think emailin me reassuring words will work quite the same as his voice... i love my little brother, this is gonna be hard...without him here