Time forgotten
I haven't written in this thing for 2 years. Alot has changed, and a lot hasn't. Like I still don't sleep at night and I still live at home with my parents. that's going to change soon though. I'm finally gonna start working a day shift and I'm moving out of my parents house.
Unfortunetely I quit school, but I hope to go back and actually excel this time. I'm hoping to be able to commit. I have issues that I don't even want to start delving into. I'm still into all the same stuff but work is still my number one priority.
Today, however, I didn't have to work. Which was excellent cause I got to hang out with Lyndsey who called into work and we went to the MOA. We were there for what seemed like forever and we walked around the whole damn thing. I think we got some good excercise cause I really needed some. I spent more money then I wish I would have but we did go see a movie (Baby Mama) which was better than I thought it would be. I ended up shelling out 12 bucks for advance Indy 4 tix. I'm not risking not going to the midnight showing cause I know I'd just regret it. "Iron Man" rocked and I'm so glad we went to the midnight screening of that. There's just something about seeing it with a die hard audience that makes movie watching experiences that much more enjoyable.
I think, okay that's a lie. I know that I'm lonely. I have my friends and my associates and people that I work with, not to mention the lovely dysfunction that is my fam, but I'm lonely. It makes me physically ill that I haven't had a boyfriend in 3 years. How sad is that? I'm a normal fun 20 year old and I haven't had a boyfriend since i was 17. I'm insecure so I don't talk to guys. I have an ego so I think they would talk to me. They don't. I'm not the most social creature (at all) but I'd think I'm approachable. I try to be. I'm okay looking...average..admittingly overweight, a can sometimes be a bitch...but it's mostly sarcasm which is heading towards snark-ville. I've also been told that I'm stuck up...but that's called having standards. I'm intelligent, though. I love all kinds of movies, and video games. I'm independent, self suffice-nt. Nerdy...very nerdy.
I don't think men find me worth their time. Their loss, right? Oh well.
I guess I'm just hoping a guy will have that moment of...wow with me. I think I'm looking in all the wrong places. Which would be everywhere I go. Hopeless, I tell ya.