they were.. um.. abbreviated. my unedited notes follow (albeit with links): -=- 7:30 - simon davies and "dj rick" begin the show, announce that the ceremonies are the 'lowest budget awards' in the world
(jokes/monologue follow - what's the difference between al-qaeda and jarvis rail? al-qaeda admit responsibility.. what's harder to obtain, a lorry full of semtex or a forged national id card? etc..)
7:38 - awards begin
first award - worst public servant - winner: margaret hodge mp, minister for children, for her plans to institute a national tracking system for all children in the uk - could not be present to accept award; at home tattooing her own children
second award - most invasive company - winner: the 'murderous' british gas, which indirectly killed two octogenarians, then blamed it all on the data protection act
7:44 - 'shout-out' given to the organisers of the austrian bb awards, who apparently ambush award winners and give them live cockroaches - austrians stand, slam the rest of their pints down jubilantly - enthusiastic applause follows
third award - most appalling project - winner: nhs it services, for their insecure compilation of health information in a computerised database
7:50 (the jokes are falling off; audience losing interest quickly; many begin their way to the bar)
fourth award - most heinous organisation - winner: office of national statistics for its 'citizens information project' .. engine room for the national identity card; should the id card scheme fail, all funds will be diverted to the CIP scheme.. represents a fait accompli - nat'l database
7:58 - ceremonies close with the 'winston award' to honour stefano ridatta, italian data protection minister; has attempted to block gov't use of cctv and arbitrary dna checking..
ending jokes aren't worth repeating; simon davies recounts a long anecdote concerning his arrest at a protest march..when requested by the police to sign his name alongside his fingerprints and mugshot, he wrote "David Cunt Blunkett".. the 12 other protestors with him did so as well.. fap fap fap. ceremonies close before 8, bar remains open
overall mood: everyone's drunk, nobody's taking anything seriously, but all are in good spirits (literally).. crowd is dressed like it's defcon.. moderately clever t-shirts, most of them black.. a few wearing trenchcoats and ray-bans. the few pretty girls in the crowd depart, your correspondent thinks its time to go
hard to take photos, but i got a few
simon davies with the awards:
the austrian contingent:
ten minutes before the ceremonies began (things filled up quickly afterwards):
-=-
7:30 - simon davies and "dj rick" begin the show, announce that the ceremonies are the 'lowest budget awards' in the world
(jokes/monologue follow - what's the difference between al-qaeda and jarvis rail? al-qaeda admit responsibility.. what's harder to obtain, a lorry full of semtex or a forged national id card? etc..)
7:38 - awards begin
first award - worst public servant - winner: margaret hodge mp, minister for children, for her plans to institute a national tracking system for all children in the uk - could not be present to accept award; at home tattooing her own children
second award - most invasive company - winner: the 'murderous' british gas, which indirectly killed two octogenarians, then blamed it all on the data protection act
7:44 - 'shout-out' given to the organisers of the austrian bb awards, who apparently ambush award winners and give them live cockroaches - austrians stand, slam the rest of their pints down jubilantly - enthusiastic applause follows
third award - most appalling project - winner: nhs it services, for their insecure compilation of health information in a computerised database
7:50 (the jokes are falling off; audience losing interest quickly; many begin their way to the bar)
fourth award - most heinous organisation - winner: office of national statistics for its 'citizens information project' .. engine room for the national identity card; should the id card scheme fail, all funds will be diverted to the CIP scheme.. represents a fait accompli - nat'l database
7:54 (your correspondent gets another round)
the 'david blunkett' lifetime menace award - the US VISIT program easily wins over charles clark mp
7:58 - ceremonies close with the 'winston award' to honour stefano ridatta, italian data protection minister; has attempted to block gov't use of cctv and arbitrary dna checking..
ending jokes aren't worth repeating; simon davies recounts a long anecdote concerning his arrest at a protest march..when requested by the police to sign his name alongside his fingerprints and mugshot, he wrote "David Cunt Blunkett".. the 12 other protestors with him did so as well.. fap fap fap. ceremonies close before 8, bar remains open
overall mood: everyone's drunk, nobody's taking anything seriously, but all are in good spirits (literally).. crowd is dressed like it's defcon.. moderately clever t-shirts, most of them black.. a few wearing trenchcoats and ray-bans. the few pretty girls in the crowd depart, your correspondent thinks its time to go
hard to take photos, but i got a few
simon davies with the awards:
the austrian contingent:
ten minutes before the ceremonies began (things filled up quickly afterwards):
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Is this some kind of new unflattering-in-a-very-teutonic-way breed of undergarment?
Or are those hemorrhoid pads?
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what's in the chair, well, i don't think i want to know
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