conflicting past
Don't ya just love it when ya can totally move on from your past? even to the extent that you don't know why or how you could have felt something?
The beginning of this journal was covered with how i felt for Sam. It took me so so long to get over him, even when I thought I was over him, i wasn't quite. So even when we would fight, I'd give him chance after chance after chance and invite him to every birthday of mine etc, only really to be given not much back at all.
But, i guess you really know when you're completely over someone when you don't give a crap they're no longer in your life.
Sam blew it with me once and for all at my party when him and his little friends practically ignored me; so after a few emails were exchanged and he still didn't get it, I'm done and dusted as I told him, and I don't even miss him because, even though he tried to deny it, there has been no friendship there with us for quite sometime. I am unclear as to why he tried to tell me there was and just lied to me?
I am so through with him and quite a few other people.
As i was saying to B the other day, even though I have always whinged about hating the blind community, i use to think I needed to be like the centre of their friendships, but now, like only in the past month or so, i've let go of so many of them (for the various reasons) and i feel better for it. -- only be friends with those I want, and not those I feel I have to be as we have mutual friends -- that sounds weird, but it's so true.
I'm not Miss popularity, but it's the way I like it.
And btw, while we're on the subject, Ben C, you don't have to lie to me either; don't try and tell me you're hopeless at staying in touch when you're always talking to the other blindies here; who do you think i am? someone who is going to crack on to you? Yes, I did have a little crush on you in Perth, but that was short lived; it's OK. Lol!
-- I just had to get this out as I've been thinking these thoughts of late.
I am surprised though sam hasn't asked me to take the entries about him down. I don't want to though because it's all still significant cos it was me; I think he realizes this. However, if he did ever ask me to take them down, because they're about him, i guess i'd have to respect his wishes and just simply copy them to my computer. -- I do want to download this entire LJ one day anyway.
Til Next time, RdFreak
P.S. If my LJ'ers choose to share this info, it's their loss, not mine. I'm not going to censor information (ie, make this private) because of a couple of bad experiences that I've had with no-longer-LJ-friends from the past.
I really need to learn to set up filters! :)
The beginning of this journal was covered with how i felt for Sam. It took me so so long to get over him, even when I thought I was over him, i wasn't quite. So even when we would fight, I'd give him chance after chance after chance and invite him to every birthday of mine etc, only really to be given not much back at all.
But, i guess you really know when you're completely over someone when you don't give a crap they're no longer in your life.
Sam blew it with me once and for all at my party when him and his little friends practically ignored me; so after a few emails were exchanged and he still didn't get it, I'm done and dusted as I told him, and I don't even miss him because, even though he tried to deny it, there has been no friendship there with us for quite sometime. I am unclear as to why he tried to tell me there was and just lied to me?
I am so through with him and quite a few other people.
As i was saying to B the other day, even though I have always whinged about hating the blind community, i use to think I needed to be like the centre of their friendships, but now, like only in the past month or so, i've let go of so many of them (for the various reasons) and i feel better for it. -- only be friends with those I want, and not those I feel I have to be as we have mutual friends -- that sounds weird, but it's so true.
I'm not Miss popularity, but it's the way I like it.
And btw, while we're on the subject, Ben C, you don't have to lie to me either; don't try and tell me you're hopeless at staying in touch when you're always talking to the other blindies here; who do you think i am? someone who is going to crack on to you? Yes, I did have a little crush on you in Perth, but that was short lived; it's OK. Lol!
-- I just had to get this out as I've been thinking these thoughts of late.
I am surprised though sam hasn't asked me to take the entries about him down. I don't want to though because it's all still significant cos it was me; I think he realizes this. However, if he did ever ask me to take them down, because they're about him, i guess i'd have to respect his wishes and just simply copy them to my computer. -- I do want to download this entire LJ one day anyway.
Til Next time, RdFreak
P.S. If my LJ'ers choose to share this info, it's their loss, not mine. I'm not going to censor information (ie, make this private) because of a couple of bad experiences that I've had with no-longer-LJ-friends from the past.
I really need to learn to set up filters! :)