Back for a minute
Wow, it has been a long, long time. What's crackilating? I'm pretty alright. In the past couple of months my band has aquired a DJ and we've become really good. That's pretty cool. I mean I'm stoked about it. When I play with GT I feel like we actually could make something of this lil' Basement experiment. Which would be awesome cause I can't think of anything else cooler than being a Rap or Rock star, except maybe being both.
I also got back into drawing comics. Mostly because of the show Naruto. Which has definitely been my way to deal with the Dragon Ball Trilogy being finished. Well I guess Spectacular Spider-Man and Street Fighter (The Comics) have also had their fair share to do with my revival in the arts. It's just a lot of fun writing and drawing for me. And since I see all there other stories being told, it motivates me to want to start telling my own. And since my Song writing is pretty non-fiction based I like to have the balance it out with my comics and movies so that I can totally make stuff up.
It's such a cluster fuck being Ryan White and all the alter egos that are tagged to that human being. I guess one of the biggest battles in me is my distrust and pretty over-all dislike for white people and white women in particular. It's more of a phase I started going through immediately after high school. I guess it was the ultimate level of being a self loather. Instead of just hating yourself why not start hating the entire group of people you were spawned from. When I later dispelled my hate for the white race, I had several run-ins with White girls, (In between my explorations of dating inter-racially), and all of them went badly. Most of them due to stereo-typical ignorance and heavily hidden drug use. These negative experiences began to shape my thought processes and make me view White women in a different way. I began to think that I wasn't meant to 'see' girls from that cultural community. And for a small while that seemed like an alright situation for myself. (Especially while I was hooked on a very gorgeous Vietnamese girl who broke my heart). But fate has a way of laughing in your face. Because eventually I developed feelings for a white girl once again. But she's very different. She definitely not the stereotype. I doubt you'll see her on any Abercrombie catalogs like the rest of the pact. And so that was cool. But whilst I was in Japan, I met another chick, also white, who seemed very cool, but along with her personality came the classic secret at the last minute that she layed out for me. Y'know that chick was a pill popper and was a snow snorter!! So once again I was pissed and thrown into the same old loop. I was lashing out at the community. I always felt like I needed to be hanging with my black friends more than my white ones. It was nothing but bad news. And trust me my boys in the KP Krew had to put up with a lot of comments this summer in between filming. But even through that Ish I never really stopped liking the other Other White Girl. We'll call her Gorgemantastic GirL. Now it's not like the puppy love, schoolboy crush anymore, that died down. I just like hanging with her. She's really funny and she just feels right to be around. I've never really asked her out, not like officially or anything, and I probably won't because if I got shot down, and it messed things up I don't know what I'd do. It's one thing to be pursuing a girl from the start and you don't know any other interaction other than flirting and making risque conversation. But I seriously just chill and talk about anything with Gorgemantastic Girl. And I let her in on the fact that I find her very attractive, but I never really brought up dating. I mean I pretty much get everything non sexual out of our friendship that I could achieve in a relationship. And after my recent experiences I can tell you the other things aren't important. But since hanging with her became a regular thing I do feel guilty for all the hostility I hold towards white-chicks. And I'm trying to get better. But honestly as a whole y'all got realize you make it so easy. 2 Thirds of you are either retarded or whores, the other third is primarily stuck up, and then there is a small remaining faction that are cool as hell. And I've begun meeting several of you from that remaining faction, but honestly it's hard sifting through and not mistaking some of the cool ones for the bad.
But I guess that's life.
Ryan
I also got back into drawing comics. Mostly because of the show Naruto. Which has definitely been my way to deal with the Dragon Ball Trilogy being finished. Well I guess Spectacular Spider-Man and Street Fighter (The Comics) have also had their fair share to do with my revival in the arts. It's just a lot of fun writing and drawing for me. And since I see all there other stories being told, it motivates me to want to start telling my own. And since my Song writing is pretty non-fiction based I like to have the balance it out with my comics and movies so that I can totally make stuff up.
It's such a cluster fuck being Ryan White and all the alter egos that are tagged to that human being. I guess one of the biggest battles in me is my distrust and pretty over-all dislike for white people and white women in particular. It's more of a phase I started going through immediately after high school. I guess it was the ultimate level of being a self loather. Instead of just hating yourself why not start hating the entire group of people you were spawned from. When I later dispelled my hate for the white race, I had several run-ins with White girls, (In between my explorations of dating inter-racially), and all of them went badly. Most of them due to stereo-typical ignorance and heavily hidden drug use. These negative experiences began to shape my thought processes and make me view White women in a different way. I began to think that I wasn't meant to 'see' girls from that cultural community. And for a small while that seemed like an alright situation for myself. (Especially while I was hooked on a very gorgeous Vietnamese girl who broke my heart). But fate has a way of laughing in your face. Because eventually I developed feelings for a white girl once again. But she's very different. She definitely not the stereotype. I doubt you'll see her on any Abercrombie catalogs like the rest of the pact. And so that was cool. But whilst I was in Japan, I met another chick, also white, who seemed very cool, but along with her personality came the classic secret at the last minute that she layed out for me. Y'know that chick was a pill popper and was a snow snorter!! So once again I was pissed and thrown into the same old loop. I was lashing out at the community. I always felt like I needed to be hanging with my black friends more than my white ones. It was nothing but bad news. And trust me my boys in the KP Krew had to put up with a lot of comments this summer in between filming. But even through that Ish I never really stopped liking the other Other White Girl. We'll call her Gorgemantastic GirL. Now it's not like the puppy love, schoolboy crush anymore, that died down. I just like hanging with her. She's really funny and she just feels right to be around. I've never really asked her out, not like officially or anything, and I probably won't because if I got shot down, and it messed things up I don't know what I'd do. It's one thing to be pursuing a girl from the start and you don't know any other interaction other than flirting and making risque conversation. But I seriously just chill and talk about anything with Gorgemantastic Girl. And I let her in on the fact that I find her very attractive, but I never really brought up dating. I mean I pretty much get everything non sexual out of our friendship that I could achieve in a relationship. And after my recent experiences I can tell you the other things aren't important. But since hanging with her became a regular thing I do feel guilty for all the hostility I hold towards white-chicks. And I'm trying to get better. But honestly as a whole y'all got realize you make it so easy. 2 Thirds of you are either retarded or whores, the other third is primarily stuck up, and then there is a small remaining faction that are cool as hell. And I've begun meeting several of you from that remaining faction, but honestly it's hard sifting through and not mistaking some of the cool ones for the bad.
But I guess that's life.
Ryan