red...red wine
So aside from being somewhat drunk and now writing on her in ages...I've thought to pose tonight. I expect there to be a litany of errors but I think that this shall make my post more memorable.
So then, I drank a bottle of pinot noir to myself. I am shocked that it didnt hit me harder but i feel fine and obviously since i am here...reflective.
I've chatted with my old friend Jenn from college a few times and it's nice but she is terrible troubled and by that I mean she is in no state to date anyone. I think she still needs to find herself or whatever that means. So in the spirit of being critical, lets' talk about me shall we??
A former girlfriend of mine...one that I would have married had I not been such a fucking idiot then, spoke with me today. She's married now and I think that's great but it got me thinking. I have tossed aside great relationships because I'm often too hung up on the girls who's have scorned me. What's wrong with me? I should appreciate the moment with the person but no...I have fucking dreams/nightmares of my ex wife to this day. I lament that I made poor choices of passing up dating some girls who I KNEW were great people. I feel as though I let it all pass by and now the window is closing. Time is ticking by and everyone and their mum seems to be shackin up. I worry that I am missing the rest of the pack and the ship is sailing. Seems I run into to old friends and such and they are all one about how such and such got married. well, I was married and she destroyed my life.
I think the real thing here is I worry about love ALOT. I want to share life with someone yet I feel like a spectator. I fret over the past along with hoping that "fate" or whatever that means will go my way.
A whole planet of souls, we're all trying to connect yet everyone is afraid to be vulnerable. Myself included.
sidenote: I heard a sone on youtube for the first time since I was 8. I didn't know who sang it or the worde..yet I happened upon it. I cried a bit when I found it. It was like solving a puzzle..the pieces were always in my head yet when I heard the chorus..it was BRILLIANT.
goodnight
So then, I drank a bottle of pinot noir to myself. I am shocked that it didnt hit me harder but i feel fine and obviously since i am here...reflective.
I've chatted with my old friend Jenn from college a few times and it's nice but she is terrible troubled and by that I mean she is in no state to date anyone. I think she still needs to find herself or whatever that means. So in the spirit of being critical, lets' talk about me shall we??
A former girlfriend of mine...one that I would have married had I not been such a fucking idiot then, spoke with me today. She's married now and I think that's great but it got me thinking. I have tossed aside great relationships because I'm often too hung up on the girls who's have scorned me. What's wrong with me? I should appreciate the moment with the person but no...I have fucking dreams/nightmares of my ex wife to this day. I lament that I made poor choices of passing up dating some girls who I KNEW were great people. I feel as though I let it all pass by and now the window is closing. Time is ticking by and everyone and their mum seems to be shackin up. I worry that I am missing the rest of the pack and the ship is sailing. Seems I run into to old friends and such and they are all one about how such and such got married. well, I was married and she destroyed my life.
I think the real thing here is I worry about love ALOT. I want to share life with someone yet I feel like a spectator. I fret over the past along with hoping that "fate" or whatever that means will go my way.
A whole planet of souls, we're all trying to connect yet everyone is afraid to be vulnerable. Myself included.
sidenote: I heard a sone on youtube for the first time since I was 8. I didn't know who sang it or the worde..yet I happened upon it. I cried a bit when I found it. It was like solving a puzzle..the pieces were always in my head yet when I heard the chorus..it was BRILLIANT.
goodnight