New years...ect
well... yesterday was christys new years party
noah, christy, amanda, justin (some kid idk) cameron, andrea, doug, kate, me, jason, steve, bryan M., david spoor ((who has a SWEEEEET car by the way))& jerry were all there... not too big, but sweet all the same.
kicked ass pretty much... hung out with everyone... amanda got kinda fucked up, but she'll be ok.
we all got totally smashed lol
so yah that was fun. we had like a 10 minute drama moment, but we were all too drunk and happy to remember any of it.
steve punched me tho! :( lol it was on accident, but still....meanie....
then today. me, kate, christy, doug, and andrea saw that movie with johnny knoxville... dont memeber what its called... and now im home... waiting to chill with A.G.
got alot on my mind....
& im listening to music thats really making me think for some reason...
but i've decided that i have no idea how i feel about her. im weird. but idk, things will just never be the same. and im sick of all the shit that went on when things actually were ok. im sick of all of it. sick of competing, sick of feeling lesser of myself, sick of trying to defend my rights as jasons girlfriend. idk if i can deal with it. its just too stressful. it was great seeing her. but we've both changed alot, even more than before, and now...i dont know if its even do-able. the thought makes me nervous, and idk if im up for it. and i think of all the good times, and i miss them, and i miss her. but i just don't know if i can deal with my self confidence being smashed down anymore. i mean some days i would feel like complete shit. and i know i've most likely done hte same to her. and i dont like it when people hang on jason, it bugs me beyond all reason. and feeling that shitty and being that paranoid just isnt healthy for either of us. im sorry. but im going to have to let it all go.
but yah i think andreas spend the night or some shit like that... so... i must be going
so this is me, closing....
//Andrea
i've packed a change of clothes
and its time to move on...
noah, christy, amanda, justin (some kid idk) cameron, andrea, doug, kate, me, jason, steve, bryan M., david spoor ((who has a SWEEEEET car by the way))& jerry were all there... not too big, but sweet all the same.
kicked ass pretty much... hung out with everyone... amanda got kinda fucked up, but she'll be ok.
we all got totally smashed lol
so yah that was fun. we had like a 10 minute drama moment, but we were all too drunk and happy to remember any of it.
steve punched me tho! :( lol it was on accident, but still....meanie....
then today. me, kate, christy, doug, and andrea saw that movie with johnny knoxville... dont memeber what its called... and now im home... waiting to chill with A.G.
got alot on my mind....
& im listening to music thats really making me think for some reason...
but i've decided that i have no idea how i feel about her. im weird. but idk, things will just never be the same. and im sick of all the shit that went on when things actually were ok. im sick of all of it. sick of competing, sick of feeling lesser of myself, sick of trying to defend my rights as jasons girlfriend. idk if i can deal with it. its just too stressful. it was great seeing her. but we've both changed alot, even more than before, and now...i dont know if its even do-able. the thought makes me nervous, and idk if im up for it. and i think of all the good times, and i miss them, and i miss her. but i just don't know if i can deal with my self confidence being smashed down anymore. i mean some days i would feel like complete shit. and i know i've most likely done hte same to her. and i dont like it when people hang on jason, it bugs me beyond all reason. and feeling that shitty and being that paranoid just isnt healthy for either of us. im sorry. but im going to have to let it all go.
but yah i think andreas spend the night or some shit like that... so... i must be going
so this is me, closing....
//Andrea
i've packed a change of clothes
and its time to move on...