these are your bootstraps, pull your ass up by them
so i made the dude cry. it's still a fucking scam.
doorbell rings. dude with clipboard. wants me to help him. he's raising money for school. uh huh. heard this one before. told him so. told him it's a scam. he gets all indignant. how do i know? i've heard it before. so he continues. needs my help with newspaper subscriptions. dude, i already get the Andorra Times. oh. well, can i help sell subscriptions? he's competing for a savings bond.
i go off. tell him get a real job. join the national guard. he counters with "i just got out of the navy on a medical" shows me his dog tags. looked fake as hell. i scoffed. told him that somebody is conning him if he thinks this will help him pay for college. i asked about his gi bill. oh, that expired today. today? well, gee, what a fucking cooincidence. get the fuck off my porch. i didn't actually say fuck. i told him i was done.
he teared up. awwww. poor little con artist didn't soak his mark.
doorbell rings. dude with clipboard. wants me to help him. he's raising money for school. uh huh. heard this one before. told him so. told him it's a scam. he gets all indignant. how do i know? i've heard it before. so he continues. needs my help with newspaper subscriptions. dude, i already get the Andorra Times. oh. well, can i help sell subscriptions? he's competing for a savings bond.
i go off. tell him get a real job. join the national guard. he counters with "i just got out of the navy on a medical" shows me his dog tags. looked fake as hell. i scoffed. told him that somebody is conning him if he thinks this will help him pay for college. i asked about his gi bill. oh, that expired today. today? well, gee, what a fucking cooincidence. get the fuck off my porch. i didn't actually say fuck. i told him i was done.
he teared up. awwww. poor little con artist didn't soak his mark.