please make it stop...

[rbrooks]

"So the time has come. You have someone. What do you do now? It's obvious, but for some reason there's still hope. I can't help but to get my hopes up. I have nothing else to do but watch, wait, and listen. But it's happening right in front of me and it kills me. Not physically, but emotionally. Unbelievably emotionally. But I can't do anything about it. All I can say is this fucking sucks, that's all there is to it. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You want to think it will all be okay in the end, and we want it to be, but this wasn't part of the aggreement I wanted. If this is for us, in the long run, why give others a chance? I'm done giving others a chance, you're it. I want to say I want you to do whatever you have to do to be happy, but this is killing me."

i dont know what is going on in my mind. I feel like everything is falling apart. I want things to go in a certain way, but i feel as if there was no way in the world that what i want is possible. it hurts so bad. more than it ever has before. tell me why, make it go away...just please do something to make it stop!!!!