The abridged abridged version of the past 50 days or so
Note: names have been removed because I know I'd leave someone out and I want to clarify that everybody was equally amazingly awesome. The exception to the names rule is 00evan, because he'll probably make some strange comment that I'll have to explain, plus I don't like him anyways.
Mid July
My plan was simple: arrive in Florida. Two weeks later, leave from DC. And somehow, this worked perfectly.
Nothing ever works perfectly for me. I am the poster child for Murphy's Law. I believe that this time, Murphy looked down from the heavens and thought, "This would be too easy. I'll sit this one out."
I'm going to skip the first four days in this story, since it involved seeing the family. Although seeing the family is great, it isn't really LJ worthy. Just let it be known that my father is more gangsta than I am. And this is a good thing.
On the last day with the 'rents, I went to the beach and received a sunburn. This is ok; I'm used to mild sunburns, I'm from Florida. But when someone (a non-Floridian to remain nameless) sprays suntan lotion on my back and doesn't rub it in, I get this big-pink-burny-face on my back with pasty-white googly eyes. Splendid.
After this, up to Orlando to join up with the rest of the group and head out to Universal (Islands of Adventure!). As usual, seeing the block from Duke was fantastic. And I can never argue with champagne hottubs. Unless the champagne hottubs are going to get struck by lightning. Even still, I can never argue with just the champagne.
Afterwards-ish, to Durham. Reunited with a large chunk of Brownstone (maybe fifteen of us), which was equally fantastic. Friends, Drinks, and World of Warcraft. Who can argue? No one. No one argues against Brewskies with Tooskies.
Even further in time after that, to DC. Reunited with a smaller chunk (about six) of the chocolate-chunk cookie that is Brownstone. Friends, Drinks, and World of Warcraft are replaced with Friends, Smash Brothers (won viciously), and Spades (lost miserably). I reach friend-Nirvana for a third time in a week. Nirvana tells me to go back to having fun, and bring some DoubleStuf Oreos next time. I do as they say.
Perhaps the best part was that in no point during this trip did I have a car. I believe each time I was magically teleported to my next destination.
Intermission
I fly back from DC. As strange icing on the vacation cake, the woman sitting next to me on my flight to Seattle: 6' twenty-something former model/lacrosse player (really) who asks if she can use my tray table, because she wants to sleep and she is too tall to use her own tray to rest her head. I say sure, because who am I to ruin her flight? Soon enough she falls asleep, rolls her head a bit, and gently plunks her head into my lap. I gaze down, confused and not sure how to wake her without her hitting herself on the now-overhead tray table. The flight attendant serving drinks comes by and asks if everything is ok. Startled, my best response was, "Yes. I'll have a Pepsi."
After this event, I considered using, "And then I ordered a Pepsi," as a replacement for, "And then I found five dollars." And then I found five dollars.
Late July
Anyways, fast forward to the day before my birthday (the work week between was boring, I assure you). I'm invited to a casino to play some poker and possibly celebrate. This casino is 21-and-over. They laugh and tell me I can wait outside for four hours. Wonderful.
Day after consisted of a surprise party and the Capitol Hill Block Party. The entire district threw a party just for me! I thank the district by considering a t-shirt purchase, then deciding not to and drinking bubble tea.
The following weekend, the entire office decided to get me drunk. It was very hard to argue with thirty blood thirsty nerds. I reluctantly accepted.
Mid August
I head to Benihanas with 00evan. 00evan talks to the couple next to us. This couple responds to his good will by revealing information on their sex habits, drug use, and how one can be used to purchase the other. I worry for my life (because that is what I do best). 00evan asks for seconds. 00evan should be an undercover cop.
Also, I highly recommend watching The Aristocrats followed by Wedding Crashers. Wedding Crashers is essentially the joke made in The Aristocrats, but stretched to an entire two hours, then modified so average movie-goers won't puke in their hats.
The next week, I venture to start up swing dancing again. Talk to a couple of women. Hit it off really well with one of the girls. Except she's stopped dating Microsoft guys. Not because they're nerdy, but because after they're around her, they all end up in wheelchairs. I haven't been to the ballroom since...
That's all for now. I might fill in the rest when I've got more time. I want to go to sleep early so I can get fresh donuts in the morning. Donuts are nature's candy, picked from the great donut trees of Tacoma. Washington's finest.
Mid July
My plan was simple: arrive in Florida. Two weeks later, leave from DC. And somehow, this worked perfectly.
Nothing ever works perfectly for me. I am the poster child for Murphy's Law. I believe that this time, Murphy looked down from the heavens and thought, "This would be too easy. I'll sit this one out."
I'm going to skip the first four days in this story, since it involved seeing the family. Although seeing the family is great, it isn't really LJ worthy. Just let it be known that my father is more gangsta than I am. And this is a good thing.
On the last day with the 'rents, I went to the beach and received a sunburn. This is ok; I'm used to mild sunburns, I'm from Florida. But when someone (a non-Floridian to remain nameless) sprays suntan lotion on my back and doesn't rub it in, I get this big-pink-burny-face on my back with pasty-white googly eyes. Splendid.
After this, up to Orlando to join up with the rest of the group and head out to Universal (Islands of Adventure!). As usual, seeing the block from Duke was fantastic. And I can never argue with champagne hottubs. Unless the champagne hottubs are going to get struck by lightning. Even still, I can never argue with just the champagne.
Afterwards-ish, to Durham. Reunited with a large chunk of Brownstone (maybe fifteen of us), which was equally fantastic. Friends, Drinks, and World of Warcraft. Who can argue? No one. No one argues against Brewskies with Tooskies.
Even further in time after that, to DC. Reunited with a smaller chunk (about six) of the chocolate-chunk cookie that is Brownstone. Friends, Drinks, and World of Warcraft are replaced with Friends, Smash Brothers (won viciously), and Spades (lost miserably). I reach friend-Nirvana for a third time in a week. Nirvana tells me to go back to having fun, and bring some DoubleStuf Oreos next time. I do as they say.
Perhaps the best part was that in no point during this trip did I have a car. I believe each time I was magically teleported to my next destination.
Intermission
I fly back from DC. As strange icing on the vacation cake, the woman sitting next to me on my flight to Seattle: 6' twenty-something former model/lacrosse player (really) who asks if she can use my tray table, because she wants to sleep and she is too tall to use her own tray to rest her head. I say sure, because who am I to ruin her flight? Soon enough she falls asleep, rolls her head a bit, and gently plunks her head into my lap. I gaze down, confused and not sure how to wake her without her hitting herself on the now-overhead tray table. The flight attendant serving drinks comes by and asks if everything is ok. Startled, my best response was, "Yes. I'll have a Pepsi."
After this event, I considered using, "And then I ordered a Pepsi," as a replacement for, "And then I found five dollars." And then I found five dollars.
Late July
Anyways, fast forward to the day before my birthday (the work week between was boring, I assure you). I'm invited to a casino to play some poker and possibly celebrate. This casino is 21-and-over. They laugh and tell me I can wait outside for four hours. Wonderful.
Day after consisted of a surprise party and the Capitol Hill Block Party. The entire district threw a party just for me! I thank the district by considering a t-shirt purchase, then deciding not to and drinking bubble tea.
The following weekend, the entire office decided to get me drunk. It was very hard to argue with thirty blood thirsty nerds. I reluctantly accepted.
Mid August
I head to Benihanas with 00evan. 00evan talks to the couple next to us. This couple responds to his good will by revealing information on their sex habits, drug use, and how one can be used to purchase the other. I worry for my life (because that is what I do best). 00evan asks for seconds. 00evan should be an undercover cop.
Also, I highly recommend watching The Aristocrats followed by Wedding Crashers. Wedding Crashers is essentially the joke made in The Aristocrats, but stretched to an entire two hours, then modified so average movie-goers won't puke in their hats.
The next week, I venture to start up swing dancing again. Talk to a couple of women. Hit it off really well with one of the girls. Except she's stopped dating Microsoft guys. Not because they're nerdy, but because after they're around her, they all end up in wheelchairs. I haven't been to the ballroom since...
That's all for now. I might fill in the rest when I've got more time. I want to go to sleep early so I can get fresh donuts in the morning. Donuts are nature's candy, picked from the great donut trees of Tacoma. Washington's finest.