(no subject)
Phew, I have a few minutes to post - William is asleep in his cot upstairs.
What a week...I've had to make an incredibly hard decision and I've been fighting it all the way. Breastfeeding William has been making me increasingly miserable. It's not a matter of enjoying it because at the end of the day the boy has to eat, but we had no routine...he was feeding every hour nearly, sleeping for only 45 minutes or so, I couldn't move off the sofa basically. I was in a bit of pain because his latch was becoming lazy and he kept pulling back, and he was very sicky and windy all the time.
I didn't want to stop and felt incredibly guilty about it, felt I was a useless mother and that I was selfish for even thinking of giving up. That's the depression talking though, and it was getting worse because of the feeding. So I listened to my mum and decided to give bottle feeding a go. To start with he was fussing at the bottle, and on the cow and gate milk was sicking up a fair amount of it - major stress as it was adding to the heartache of not BF any more. We've changed his bottles, teats and milk (easy digest!) and we've cracked it - he eats happily and is barely sick except the normal posseting that all babies do.
I'm still sad that I'm not feeding him myself and I miss the closeness, but the guilt has eased as I can begin to rationalise - a happier mum means a happier baby, and he's had all the benefits of my milk - 8 weeks is a bloody good time to have done it. He seems to have had an intolerance to something in my milk so at the end of the day he's better off on the bottle. Plus we can get in to a routine, I can get things done in the house and start getting out and about properly without worrying he needs feeding while we're out
yes, I have a control issue...I feel so much better now I've grasped some control back again.
So, still a few tears, but it's getting easier. Apart from the pain in the boobage from stopping...
Steve has popped out to swap some games and pick up some shopping so I've got his macbook pro next to me, yet I have no idea how to use it lol. I found iTunes and put music on, which is awesome as I don't get a lot of time to listen to music at the moment and I miss it.
William and I have been playing this morning and now I think he's woken from his nap.
Last night he spent the first night totally in his cot - we decided we can't keep him in our bed anymore, especially as I'm not feeding him myself anymore. So we feed him from the bottle in the nursery and then put him down in the cot. He was a little star last night considering it was the first time, so I'm dead chuffed.
Must go get him now, he's started to moan!
What a week...I've had to make an incredibly hard decision and I've been fighting it all the way. Breastfeeding William has been making me increasingly miserable. It's not a matter of enjoying it because at the end of the day the boy has to eat, but we had no routine...he was feeding every hour nearly, sleeping for only 45 minutes or so, I couldn't move off the sofa basically. I was in a bit of pain because his latch was becoming lazy and he kept pulling back, and he was very sicky and windy all the time.
I didn't want to stop and felt incredibly guilty about it, felt I was a useless mother and that I was selfish for even thinking of giving up. That's the depression talking though, and it was getting worse because of the feeding. So I listened to my mum and decided to give bottle feeding a go. To start with he was fussing at the bottle, and on the cow and gate milk was sicking up a fair amount of it - major stress as it was adding to the heartache of not BF any more. We've changed his bottles, teats and milk (easy digest!) and we've cracked it - he eats happily and is barely sick except the normal posseting that all babies do.
I'm still sad that I'm not feeding him myself and I miss the closeness, but the guilt has eased as I can begin to rationalise - a happier mum means a happier baby, and he's had all the benefits of my milk - 8 weeks is a bloody good time to have done it. He seems to have had an intolerance to something in my milk so at the end of the day he's better off on the bottle. Plus we can get in to a routine, I can get things done in the house and start getting out and about properly without worrying he needs feeding while we're out
yes, I have a control issue...I feel so much better now I've grasped some control back again.
So, still a few tears, but it's getting easier. Apart from the pain in the boobage from stopping...
Steve has popped out to swap some games and pick up some shopping so I've got his macbook pro next to me, yet I have no idea how to use it lol. I found iTunes and put music on, which is awesome as I don't get a lot of time to listen to music at the moment and I miss it.
William and I have been playing this morning and now I think he's woken from his nap.
Last night he spent the first night totally in his cot - we decided we can't keep him in our bed anymore, especially as I'm not feeding him myself anymore. So we feed him from the bottle in the nursery and then put him down in the cot. He was a little star last night considering it was the first time, so I'm dead chuffed.
Must go get him now, he's started to moan!