Me, I'm Not (fic)
Title: Me, I'm Not
Fandom: Vampire Diaries
Rating: PG
Word Count: 350
Characters/Pairings: Stefan
Disclaimer: Don’t own.
Spoilers/Time Line:
Summery: the stone inside you still hasn't hit bottom
Author’s Notes: for softly_me
That ‘feeding so hard I black out business’ was complete fiction. I was there the whole time. Otherwise what would have been the point of feeding, getting pleasure from the feeding if the memory of the pleasure was suddenly snuffed?
No. I was there I enjoyed what I did.
Damon likes to believe I feed so hard that I don’t remember. That I rip the bodies apart for the blood lust. When really there is no logical reason to do so. I don’t get more blood if there are more pieces, I just like to play with them. I like to take them apart. I like to see their insides. I like figuring them out.
I told Elena that I studied to be a doctor. I told her I wanted to help people, but that wasn’t the entire truth. Maybe before that’s what I wanted to do, heal. But I know now what I really wanted was the knowledge. And after I’d been turned I wanted to be able to help myself to people. I wanted to know about tissues and organs. I wanted to know how much pressure bones could take, how far things would bend before the broke. I wanted to know the secrets of the body. I wanted to know what made life, so that when I took it away it wasn’t in vain.
Damon thought it was regret. Only because he couldn’t fathom anything else. His little brother tearing into living things and actually enjoying it? There is no guilt in the thirst.
I know which arteries release the most blood, I know how to unlock them, I know how to slow or hasten the flow of blood. I take my time with them. I feed.
I know the secrets of them. I know how much pressure to apply to the skin before it breaks.
I know how to make them cry, laugh, scream, come, gasp. I know how to make their hearts stop and then start them up again.
I make them watch me. I make them participate.
I give them the attention they deserve.