If we shadows have but offended...
Comments are screened; if you ask me to unscreen I may, but... anyhow. Please read the whole entry before posting.
It's a broken record in my head and since this really doesn't involve me I'm not secreting this away.
People make me sad. Not in a "you all make me sick" but in a sort of "but why do that...?" with frowny lines and hand wringing.
This morning my work had a systems failure and our network was down. So we powwow'd and I got to talk with a woman who just returned to work from a long sick leave. She had surgery on her left breast to remove a malignant tumor. Shortly before returning to work she cropped her hair short and is wearing this really cute and becoming wig. Over the next few weeks she has chemo coming up and is expecting to be in for three or four days a week, and out on Fridays to recover - though apparently the reactions will be over the weekend.
The thing that strikes me is she's been smoking two packs a day for over 30 years. Not too long ago she would joke about drinking and smoking until she died. But then she got a prognosis of two years of cancer unto death or get aggressive chemo now and quit the smoking and live for who knows how long. She expects to be done with chemo and radiation in time for her 47th birthday.
She knows I smoke on average four or five cigarettes a month and today she begged me to quit. I'm thinking about it but I doubt it will really stick.
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People have a right to whatever they want to do as long as it doesn't hurt others. It's hardly a function of high social engineering, we all learned this in grade school.
But in that we form opinions over others as we watch them do things that we've taken to understand to bring pain and suffering. Any and all of you are welcome to your beauty, your cruelty and any other emotion or state your heart and soul have to offer. There is no but, there is no qualification, it simply is. Your emotions are your own and anyone who tells you not to be angry or sad or even happy or at peace just doesn't get it.
The only awareness I want you to have is that, in response to this, we your witnesses have our own opinions and our own hard-won knowledge. As much as you explore the extent of an emotion I believe to be corrosive I will sit here and fret and believe you are endulging a malignancy.
This is not any one of you, this is not even a handful of you. It's a human thing to go exploring, and it's far, far better to know yourself than to not, so at times this has been EACH of you, and me. But after a while, I think, you're not doing yourself any favors, either by being open *or* by hiding away. These are my thoughts and I own them.
Be angry, or be despondent. I will still love you and I'll do what I can so that you don't feel alone or attacked or - God forbid, unloved. But my friendship isn't always happy, unqualified cheerleading. Sometimes it's critical and often it's fraught with worry.
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No one is joining or leaving my friends' list today, though I've thought about it. There might be some internal reworkings to reflect (to me and me only) any new information. I know where my loyalties are, eventhough I reiterate they are not unqualified. And some people will get me cheering them on and some people won't.
Again this is mine and I make no apology for it. I'm not that hard to find if you want any sort of explantion.
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oh, and what the hell is up with the weather? I was sure it was going to be a dry year then spring brought all the rain? WTF?
It's a broken record in my head and since this really doesn't involve me I'm not secreting this away.
People make me sad. Not in a "you all make me sick" but in a sort of "but why do that...?" with frowny lines and hand wringing.
This morning my work had a systems failure and our network was down. So we powwow'd and I got to talk with a woman who just returned to work from a long sick leave. She had surgery on her left breast to remove a malignant tumor. Shortly before returning to work she cropped her hair short and is wearing this really cute and becoming wig. Over the next few weeks she has chemo coming up and is expecting to be in for three or four days a week, and out on Fridays to recover - though apparently the reactions will be over the weekend.
The thing that strikes me is she's been smoking two packs a day for over 30 years. Not too long ago she would joke about drinking and smoking until she died. But then she got a prognosis of two years of cancer unto death or get aggressive chemo now and quit the smoking and live for who knows how long. She expects to be done with chemo and radiation in time for her 47th birthday.
She knows I smoke on average four or five cigarettes a month and today she begged me to quit. I'm thinking about it but I doubt it will really stick.
--------------------------
People have a right to whatever they want to do as long as it doesn't hurt others. It's hardly a function of high social engineering, we all learned this in grade school.
But in that we form opinions over others as we watch them do things that we've taken to understand to bring pain and suffering. Any and all of you are welcome to your beauty, your cruelty and any other emotion or state your heart and soul have to offer. There is no but, there is no qualification, it simply is. Your emotions are your own and anyone who tells you not to be angry or sad or even happy or at peace just doesn't get it.
The only awareness I want you to have is that, in response to this, we your witnesses have our own opinions and our own hard-won knowledge. As much as you explore the extent of an emotion I believe to be corrosive I will sit here and fret and believe you are endulging a malignancy.
This is not any one of you, this is not even a handful of you. It's a human thing to go exploring, and it's far, far better to know yourself than to not, so at times this has been EACH of you, and me. But after a while, I think, you're not doing yourself any favors, either by being open *or* by hiding away. These are my thoughts and I own them.
Be angry, or be despondent. I will still love you and I'll do what I can so that you don't feel alone or attacked or - God forbid, unloved. But my friendship isn't always happy, unqualified cheerleading. Sometimes it's critical and often it's fraught with worry.
------------------------
No one is joining or leaving my friends' list today, though I've thought about it. There might be some internal reworkings to reflect (to me and me only) any new information. I know where my loyalties are, eventhough I reiterate they are not unqualified. And some people will get me cheering them on and some people won't.
Again this is mine and I make no apology for it. I'm not that hard to find if you want any sort of explantion.
------------------------
oh, and what the hell is up with the weather? I was sure it was going to be a dry year then spring brought all the rain? WTF?