(no subject)
I don't really trust my new psych all that much. I find it hard to divulge anything to him at all. I feel inadequate when I am with him. I feel that nothing that I have to say is worth bringing up. I feel that all of my network is falling apart. At the moment I don't have anyone that I can talk to how just knows what I am saying. I have to explain everything, nothing is just well known. I'm into my third week of work and I am in a low. I sat and watched tv the other night and just cried, I don't know what it was about, or why I was crying. The same thing happened last night as well.
I told Kevin that I loved him the other night. It was sort of out of my mouth before I realised what I said. I rely so much on him to make me happy. I hang out for his text messages when I shouldn't. I feel that if we were to go out again that it would all just return to how it used to be. Me not feeling important enough because he would never turn up at the time that he said he would and if he decided not to turn up he wouldn't tell me. It made me feel like I was constantly second best but then I would get caught up in the time that we were together.
I told Kevin that I loved him the other night. It was sort of out of my mouth before I realised what I said. I rely so much on him to make me happy. I hang out for his text messages when I shouldn't. I feel that if we were to go out again that it would all just return to how it used to be. Me not feeling important enough because he would never turn up at the time that he said he would and if he decided not to turn up he wouldn't tell me. It made me feel like I was constantly second best but then I would get caught up in the time that we were together.