time for an update
After seeing so many of my other friends update I figured I'd follow suit and do the same. I have been slightly detoured from pouring my emotions out on to LJ for quite some time but now I feel the need to at least say what's up on some level even though you probably heard this all before.
Life has been different but I still hold to the same feelings I've had before about certain things. I spend more time with friends and frequent bars more often but I still feel a bit out of place, like I don't actually want to be there, I rather be watching a movie curled up on teh couch or in bed. I guess that's just me, a full blooded home body. I think thats where alot of my disappointment as of late comes from. I can be at home but I'm not really comfortable there, I guess I'll have to make a new version of home on my own, I imagine its that Im just tired of living with parents, the same questions and the fact I think I deserve respect and space that I just am not entitled to in their home.
School is fun too, in the sense that I feel like I am consistantly failing to achieve what is expected of me (near perfection). Its my past high school and college experiences, I feel as though I got a redo or practice run by transferring schools and while part of me knows that I worked hard and earned everything I have achieved another part of me feels that I will not be what my future employers expect. I will work hard but i'm just tired of certain aspects of life and not so recent events have handicapped my mind from concentrating even still. I long to have closure or move past it, either way jsut for it to end. But its not all bad because I have met some good people and am staying involved with BAP, keeps me busy and makes me feel I'm earning my keep to stay where I am.
I'll be moving to Saginaw soon, within 4 months actually. Alittle scary. All us accounting majors talk about where we are going to end up and how we'll visit, but I'm pessimistic about it. Real life will hit us and hit us hard and soon we will be stuck in our own little part of michigan and forget or slip out of touch. I need to set up something in Saginaw, friends or something, especially if co-workers are not into my company because then I'll be that pity firends that they hang out with just because and than left alone at home.
So what of life, happiness, politics and all that other stuff, well I got some new cd's and does any of that stuff matter really? Im just here, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, struggling through life that has gotten alot more difficult as of late, but I move forward although at times I feel as though I am exactly where I was 4 years aog, jsut with a better plan.
Could be worse I suppose, well yeah it could be alot worse.
Life has been different but I still hold to the same feelings I've had before about certain things. I spend more time with friends and frequent bars more often but I still feel a bit out of place, like I don't actually want to be there, I rather be watching a movie curled up on teh couch or in bed. I guess that's just me, a full blooded home body. I think thats where alot of my disappointment as of late comes from. I can be at home but I'm not really comfortable there, I guess I'll have to make a new version of home on my own, I imagine its that Im just tired of living with parents, the same questions and the fact I think I deserve respect and space that I just am not entitled to in their home.
School is fun too, in the sense that I feel like I am consistantly failing to achieve what is expected of me (near perfection). Its my past high school and college experiences, I feel as though I got a redo or practice run by transferring schools and while part of me knows that I worked hard and earned everything I have achieved another part of me feels that I will not be what my future employers expect. I will work hard but i'm just tired of certain aspects of life and not so recent events have handicapped my mind from concentrating even still. I long to have closure or move past it, either way jsut for it to end. But its not all bad because I have met some good people and am staying involved with BAP, keeps me busy and makes me feel I'm earning my keep to stay where I am.
I'll be moving to Saginaw soon, within 4 months actually. Alittle scary. All us accounting majors talk about where we are going to end up and how we'll visit, but I'm pessimistic about it. Real life will hit us and hit us hard and soon we will be stuck in our own little part of michigan and forget or slip out of touch. I need to set up something in Saginaw, friends or something, especially if co-workers are not into my company because then I'll be that pity firends that they hang out with just because and than left alone at home.
So what of life, happiness, politics and all that other stuff, well I got some new cd's and does any of that stuff matter really? Im just here, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, struggling through life that has gotten alot more difficult as of late, but I move forward although at times I feel as though I am exactly where I was 4 years aog, jsut with a better plan.
Could be worse I suppose, well yeah it could be alot worse.