(no subject)
I loathe this feeling. I want to be a cruel, collected queen. I've decided to be, to adopt the dark cloak of apathy..fuck this depression.
I have no reason to be this way, I hate it. What is it, this sad self-pitying abyss,that descends on me from nowhere and crushes me like an anvil.
Fuck it. This is just a disgusting phase, i need to shake it off.
i think I might have some kind of insanity. I have these weird experiences that I can't tell anybody about, except you, because you can't commit me.
I was starting to fall asleep, but all of a sudden it was too fast, it was like being pulled underwater by invisible hands and I was struggling to wake up, to get up...and for a moment I heard voices, audibly, arguing about something, and I was terrified.
It was like being pulled backward into another time, something so old, Something stone and ancient...I escaped it though, and got up and walked around to wake myself up enough to be safe from it.
This feeling has happened before, and it feels so wrong, like being forced into chaos. It's not dreaming, it's to real. It's not memories , it's nothing I've seen on tv.. I dunno. it scares me.
I've become hateful... I say mean things to people I love before I can stop myself, and it's like I'm a prisoner inside of this body, nothing is my own, I can only watch in horror as I sever people at their core, and then I'm helpless to mend it. I think I've got something wrong, my spirit is sick...am I making any sense.
I don't care about anything, nothing gives me pleasure. I want the sun to come out again, I don't want to be so very angry.
I have no reason to be this way, I hate it. What is it, this sad self-pitying abyss,that descends on me from nowhere and crushes me like an anvil.
Fuck it. This is just a disgusting phase, i need to shake it off.
i think I might have some kind of insanity. I have these weird experiences that I can't tell anybody about, except you, because you can't commit me.
I was starting to fall asleep, but all of a sudden it was too fast, it was like being pulled underwater by invisible hands and I was struggling to wake up, to get up...and for a moment I heard voices, audibly, arguing about something, and I was terrified.
It was like being pulled backward into another time, something so old, Something stone and ancient...I escaped it though, and got up and walked around to wake myself up enough to be safe from it.
This feeling has happened before, and it feels so wrong, like being forced into chaos. It's not dreaming, it's to real. It's not memories , it's nothing I've seen on tv.. I dunno. it scares me.
I've become hateful... I say mean things to people I love before I can stop myself, and it's like I'm a prisoner inside of this body, nothing is my own, I can only watch in horror as I sever people at their core, and then I'm helpless to mend it. I think I've got something wrong, my spirit is sick...am I making any sense.
I don't care about anything, nothing gives me pleasure. I want the sun to come out again, I don't want to be so very angry.