So any other day
I've decided that sometimes I just need to write out whats in my head.. Even if it barely makes any sense up there.
So I'm hoping that I will make time in my busy schedule to keep LJ updated.. However ya'll know me.. I'm rather scatter brained when i'm not trying to focus..
I've noticed not many people ever seem to remember that life goes on with or without them. I was thinking over the last few days about death.. Not that I want to die or anything just contemplating how it affects others. Then thinking about how other reflect on you after you pass.
And in that thought I've decided that when I do pass, I want to impact the world or at least my world. I want people to think on me and say "She'll be missed" and I want them to remember the things that I've over come and what I made of myself. When I pass over I want people to think back on all the things I accomplished whether they be big or small. I want people to say look how she LIVED. I don't want people to mourn over the wasted time or all the potential I had. I want them to talk about everything I did. Not the things I'll never get to do.
So in that epiphany, I've decided that I want to LIVE.. I want my life to be mine. I'm tired of worrying over others opinions of me. I am who I am, it's not going to change. And I can be true to myself on the inside, but not show it.. However they will see it all when I pass anyway. So why hide that now. Why hide who I am and who I want to be.. Because in death it will be known either way.
So my option is to be true to myself where everyone can see, or allow them to see the real me when I'm gone and well that seems like such a waste.. I'll never be who I'm not.. And there's not point to not allowing others to share in the joys of my true self. So why should I keep trying to hold on to a mask I can't stand.
Today, and forever on I want to be me. Jordona, Shadoe, Dani, Jori.. However that ME is.. And I'm going to be happy with that. And those who choose to know me.. They will always get the real me. And those who love me, will LOVE the real me...
So I'm hoping that I will make time in my busy schedule to keep LJ updated.. However ya'll know me.. I'm rather scatter brained when i'm not trying to focus..
I've noticed not many people ever seem to remember that life goes on with or without them. I was thinking over the last few days about death.. Not that I want to die or anything just contemplating how it affects others. Then thinking about how other reflect on you after you pass.
And in that thought I've decided that when I do pass, I want to impact the world or at least my world. I want people to think on me and say "She'll be missed" and I want them to remember the things that I've over come and what I made of myself. When I pass over I want people to think back on all the things I accomplished whether they be big or small. I want people to say look how she LIVED. I don't want people to mourn over the wasted time or all the potential I had. I want them to talk about everything I did. Not the things I'll never get to do.
So in that epiphany, I've decided that I want to LIVE.. I want my life to be mine. I'm tired of worrying over others opinions of me. I am who I am, it's not going to change. And I can be true to myself on the inside, but not show it.. However they will see it all when I pass anyway. So why hide that now. Why hide who I am and who I want to be.. Because in death it will be known either way.
So my option is to be true to myself where everyone can see, or allow them to see the real me when I'm gone and well that seems like such a waste.. I'll never be who I'm not.. And there's not point to not allowing others to share in the joys of my true self. So why should I keep trying to hold on to a mask I can't stand.
Today, and forever on I want to be me. Jordona, Shadoe, Dani, Jori.. However that ME is.. And I'm going to be happy with that. And those who choose to know me.. They will always get the real me. And those who love me, will LOVE the real me...