i wish people would just understand me... wait. i wish i could understand me
i really wish people would just understand me.. like i dont
even know where to begin! just to get it out. i am a depressed
14 year old teenager. i do go to a therapist. my therapist does
kind of think that i may need anti-depressants. i dont sleep very
well at night. i either go to bed wayyyyyyy super late like 1 or 2ish
or i get up hours before my alarm clock goes off.. or i wake up like
a gazzillion times a night.. or all of the above.and none of my
friends know exactly what i go through everyday, to try not to
have a break down. i really dont remember the last time i was
actually happy happy. happy meaning.. taking my fake happy mask
off and just being me with no mask. at school i look like im,
either happy... or just really sad or tired. you guys dont
know what i would give to live one week, one day... of being
happy. im willing to go on anti-depressants... even though i
know that they skrew with your head and body. i dont even
care at this point... i want to be like everybody else.. who
are smiley.. and not in crappy mood 24/7. people find it hard
to believe that... i actually do go to a therapist. they say..
" you dont need to go to one.. you have a great boyfriend,
great friends, good grades, your tall, your pretty, your parents
are still married, you are skinny, and plus you have a great ass"
(thanks.. for those of you who say i have a great ass... thats
really quite interesting to know) thats me on the out side..
if you go on the inside of me... its like a tsunami hit me or
something. im a wreck. i dont even know how it all started.
(macy sav... allison dan kayla adrienne whitney shelby
lauren h. and im guessing a few other people know too..
its been almost a year.. at the end of the month...) its
really sad.. i wish that i could be fixed.. just with a
snap of the fingers or a blink of the eyes. i didnt chose
to be this way. its just the way i am. sadly.
*im not aiming this towards anybody if that is what you are
thinking.. im just trying to get things off of my mind*
even know where to begin! just to get it out. i am a depressed
14 year old teenager. i do go to a therapist. my therapist does
kind of think that i may need anti-depressants. i dont sleep very
well at night. i either go to bed wayyyyyyy super late like 1 or 2ish
or i get up hours before my alarm clock goes off.. or i wake up like
a gazzillion times a night.. or all of the above.and none of my
friends know exactly what i go through everyday, to try not to
have a break down. i really dont remember the last time i was
actually happy happy. happy meaning.. taking my fake happy mask
off and just being me with no mask. at school i look like im,
either happy... or just really sad or tired. you guys dont
know what i would give to live one week, one day... of being
happy. im willing to go on anti-depressants... even though i
know that they skrew with your head and body. i dont even
care at this point... i want to be like everybody else.. who
are smiley.. and not in crappy mood 24/7. people find it hard
to believe that... i actually do go to a therapist. they say..
" you dont need to go to one.. you have a great boyfriend,
great friends, good grades, your tall, your pretty, your parents
are still married, you are skinny, and plus you have a great ass"
(thanks.. for those of you who say i have a great ass... thats
really quite interesting to know) thats me on the out side..
if you go on the inside of me... its like a tsunami hit me or
something. im a wreck. i dont even know how it all started.
(macy sav... allison dan kayla adrienne whitney shelby
lauren h. and im guessing a few other people know too..
its been almost a year.. at the end of the month...) its
really sad.. i wish that i could be fixed.. just with a
snap of the fingers or a blink of the eyes. i didnt chose
to be this way. its just the way i am. sadly.
*im not aiming this towards anybody if that is what you are
thinking.. im just trying to get things off of my mind*