Oh! Journal Clean-Up Time!
There's nothing like going through my old LJ posts to make me realize how much I've grown over the years. Luckily, there's a "Delete Entry" button just waiting to be used! I left a few of the older posts, since deleting all of them just seemed so strange. I don't want to erase everything of who I was when I was less mature, but only a small portion is necessary. I left some of the more important ones.
I left the one about my graduation because I had forgotten how much work I had to do the last couple months of my senior year. I'll probably never tell you all about the suicide of my friend. A classmate asked for stories about him recently, and I'm just barely ready to write them down for him. The grieving process is a long and personal journey, but I am glad to say that I now understand that his death was not my fault. It took two years to feel like I hadn't been the one who let him down and let him die. It took another two years for me to finally admit that I have no control over anyone's actions but mine and that it was ultimately his decision. Now I'm just left with the pain of missing someone who meant so much to me.
I left my nerd post, since I am still a nerd and like many of those things. I don't really cosplay anymore, nor do I keep up with many anime or manga, however, my love for the Japanese language and culture has deepened to the point where I'm olanning on going for my masters and PhD. in a Japan-related field. I'm really interested in literature and how it explains and deals with cultural issues. I'm also very interested in Women's Studies in Japan. Ishigaki Rin is one of my favorite Japanese poets. I can't wait to get into grad school to continue my studies.
I left the "mundane" post because I had actually forgotten that my grandma hadn't known that Sandi had died. It's interesting what I forget over time. I feel as if I am more forgetful now. I wonder if it is because I'm thinking about so many things at once...
I left the one about Preview because college was (and probably will always be) a continual cycle of excitement, and frustration. I wouldn't trade it for anything though!
I hope to update my story about being stranded in Norfolk at 1 am to make it a better read. I also plan to make more well-written posts from now on that actually say something that people might find interesting. That being said, I rarely update! Maybe I'll try to do so with a little more frequency.
I left the one about my graduation because I had forgotten how much work I had to do the last couple months of my senior year. I'll probably never tell you all about the suicide of my friend. A classmate asked for stories about him recently, and I'm just barely ready to write them down for him. The grieving process is a long and personal journey, but I am glad to say that I now understand that his death was not my fault. It took two years to feel like I hadn't been the one who let him down and let him die. It took another two years for me to finally admit that I have no control over anyone's actions but mine and that it was ultimately his decision. Now I'm just left with the pain of missing someone who meant so much to me.
I left my nerd post, since I am still a nerd and like many of those things. I don't really cosplay anymore, nor do I keep up with many anime or manga, however, my love for the Japanese language and culture has deepened to the point where I'm olanning on going for my masters and PhD. in a Japan-related field. I'm really interested in literature and how it explains and deals with cultural issues. I'm also very interested in Women's Studies in Japan. Ishigaki Rin is one of my favorite Japanese poets. I can't wait to get into grad school to continue my studies.
I left the "mundane" post because I had actually forgotten that my grandma hadn't known that Sandi had died. It's interesting what I forget over time. I feel as if I am more forgetful now. I wonder if it is because I'm thinking about so many things at once...
I left the one about Preview because college was (and probably will always be) a continual cycle of excitement, and frustration. I wouldn't trade it for anything though!
I hope to update my story about being stranded in Norfolk at 1 am to make it a better read. I also plan to make more well-written posts from now on that actually say something that people might find interesting. That being said, I rarely update! Maybe I'll try to do so with a little more frequency.