Week in Recap
So I believe this past week was probably my hardest week in the eight months I've been at the new job. April was hard when Joann was fired, but I knew I could get through that because I was confident in myself and knowing I could do the job. I was definitely angry at my boss for both cheating Joann and cheating me from any choices in the work environment. They hired Brenda. She seemed okay that first month.. but its always hard to tell when someone is still learning. Two weeks in, through the heavy-handedness of Michelle our supervisor, Brenda was moved into my office so we then shared a small space. I lost my beautiful wood office set, and we traded it in for two ugly gray cubicles into the room. We worked really hard to try and make the cubicles work in the space without making the whole place feel claustrophobic and ugly. And we came up with something that worked. It put our backs to each other, with a big wide open space between us. And it worked.. mostly.
Month two, and I started to notice that Brenda just still wasn't getting it. Of course, I only had myself as a guideline as to how quickly one can pick up the job.. and I've always known that I am a super fast learner and extremely quick at my job. Over achiever, in some ways. I knew that the fact that we were sharing a room was making it so she wasn't forced to try things on her own before asking for help. So she asked questions...All..The..Time. I don't think there was a single project I gave her that she didn't ask several questions about.. no matter how many times she'd done it before. It really felt like she just wasn't getting confidence that she could do it herself. Others agreed with me that it was because I was *right there* that it was easier for her to ask me than to think for herself. And it very quickly drag on my nerves.
Month three, I finally try and show her a couple of the harder projects, while I took over the projects she'd done over the past two months. Again, took her forever to understand. I mean, how hard is it to understand "match the layout I used on this one"? Especially when its just Excel she's using at this point? I decided in that month that Brenda refused to fiddle with something to try and figure out what works and rather just would try to ask me how to do something in hopes that i could show her the magic button. Really started to grate then.
Month four, we trade back. I let her work on the BIG project that she did month 1 and 2. This project, while big, is really just an 8 hour job. And although I know she took a crazy amount of notes on this project during the first two months, its like she forgot everything about it.. or forgot how to read her own notes.. unsure which. But it took her 5 Days to do that project. And that was ALL she worked on that entire time. 5 Fucking Days. I tried to do my best to just let her do it, and only answer minimal questions. But she was talking to herself.. and quibbling.. asking questions Constantly..complaining.. the whole week was Painful. See my previous post about some more specific things. I was nearly tearing my hair out by Monday afternoon by how much she was grating on me. Tuesday morning, she interrupted me talking with my friend Nichola, and after she walked away.. I rolled my eyes. But she had for some reason slowed and saw that.. and then it all fell apart. I walked back into our shared office and she yelled at me. We both blew up at each other. We went and talk to Michelle. I started to fall apart. I left for an early lunch, napped for two hours at home, then worked from home the rest of the day. The rest of the week was an uncomfortable silence between us. We did step it up and at least worked together as needed on work (or at least, I deigned to answer her questions if only so to ensure she'd get that damn project done).
The best Michelle is going to let us do is move our cubicles around in a different layout. Try to put a wall between us. Won't let me completely block out her constant chattering if she keeps it up.. but maybe it'll convince her to try to do things on her own a bit more. The thing that REALLY dragged at me when I talked to Michelle again was that there was no way the office would go down to just one of us, they fully believe they need two of us, no matter how many times I've tried to explain that I can *easily* do the job myself. But they believe that the "TEAM" is doing a great job and that "BOTH OF US" are quick and good at the job. Such a fucking lie. I'm the one that ensures everything is done well, I answer all the difficult problems, I answer all her stupid stupid questions... Its all fucking me. Not her. And yet.. because we're a team.. all my hard work just keeps her up to speed. AAAARRRGHHHHH!!! I'll be marking down that she took 5 days to do a 1 day project and keep that as fodder against her.. because honestly, she and I do NOT work well together and I want her fired. I just do. Damnit all.
Month two, and I started to notice that Brenda just still wasn't getting it. Of course, I only had myself as a guideline as to how quickly one can pick up the job.. and I've always known that I am a super fast learner and extremely quick at my job. Over achiever, in some ways. I knew that the fact that we were sharing a room was making it so she wasn't forced to try things on her own before asking for help. So she asked questions...All..The..Time. I don't think there was a single project I gave her that she didn't ask several questions about.. no matter how many times she'd done it before. It really felt like she just wasn't getting confidence that she could do it herself. Others agreed with me that it was because I was *right there* that it was easier for her to ask me than to think for herself. And it very quickly drag on my nerves.
Month three, I finally try and show her a couple of the harder projects, while I took over the projects she'd done over the past two months. Again, took her forever to understand. I mean, how hard is it to understand "match the layout I used on this one"? Especially when its just Excel she's using at this point? I decided in that month that Brenda refused to fiddle with something to try and figure out what works and rather just would try to ask me how to do something in hopes that i could show her the magic button. Really started to grate then.
Month four, we trade back. I let her work on the BIG project that she did month 1 and 2. This project, while big, is really just an 8 hour job. And although I know she took a crazy amount of notes on this project during the first two months, its like she forgot everything about it.. or forgot how to read her own notes.. unsure which. But it took her 5 Days to do that project. And that was ALL she worked on that entire time. 5 Fucking Days. I tried to do my best to just let her do it, and only answer minimal questions. But she was talking to herself.. and quibbling.. asking questions Constantly..complaining.. the whole week was Painful. See my previous post about some more specific things. I was nearly tearing my hair out by Monday afternoon by how much she was grating on me. Tuesday morning, she interrupted me talking with my friend Nichola, and after she walked away.. I rolled my eyes. But she had for some reason slowed and saw that.. and then it all fell apart. I walked back into our shared office and she yelled at me. We both blew up at each other. We went and talk to Michelle. I started to fall apart. I left for an early lunch, napped for two hours at home, then worked from home the rest of the day. The rest of the week was an uncomfortable silence between us. We did step it up and at least worked together as needed on work (or at least, I deigned to answer her questions if only so to ensure she'd get that damn project done).
The best Michelle is going to let us do is move our cubicles around in a different layout. Try to put a wall between us. Won't let me completely block out her constant chattering if she keeps it up.. but maybe it'll convince her to try to do things on her own a bit more. The thing that REALLY dragged at me when I talked to Michelle again was that there was no way the office would go down to just one of us, they fully believe they need two of us, no matter how many times I've tried to explain that I can *easily* do the job myself. But they believe that the "TEAM" is doing a great job and that "BOTH OF US" are quick and good at the job. Such a fucking lie. I'm the one that ensures everything is done well, I answer all the difficult problems, I answer all her stupid stupid questions... Its all fucking me. Not her. And yet.. because we're a team.. all my hard work just keeps her up to speed. AAAARRRGHHHHH!!! I'll be marking down that she took 5 days to do a 1 day project and keep that as fodder against her.. because honestly, she and I do NOT work well together and I want her fired. I just do. Damnit all.