LEAN TO SAY 'NO' AT WORK
In our attempts to prove ourselves at work, the word "no", even to ourselves, can be difficult to utter.
Sometimes, that happens when you come across an abundance of opportunities that looked too good to pass up.
More often than not, it is that abundance of things we feel we must do or things that people expect us to do.
As a result, what happens is that we end up spending our lives, expending ourselves.
So, one of the most empowering skills we can imbibe is the simple ability to say "no".
This is the ability to say no, not only to your boss, but also to overtime, your spouse, friends, the TV and social engagements, especially when some of these things create imbalances in your life.
Learning to say no is also one of the most difficult skills to learn. It is also one of the most valuable because, by and large, it is honouring yourself.
It involves a choice. It means saying yes to things that make us more alive and no to things that drain us and do not support us.
Just ask youself : "What do you want more of in your life?" and "What do you want less of?"
Many of us are conditioned to believe that saying no means that we are not team players, and that we are selfish.
But the reality is, for every yes you say to working late, you say no to family and leisure. You are saying yes to the fear of losing your job and powerlessness, and no to serenity.
So start saying no to things that you really do not want, at least five times a day for a week and see the difference it makes to your life.
- Mrs Rita Haque,
personal and business coach,
Haque Centre
(haque@cyberway.com.sg)
Source: The Straights Times : Wednesday, July 21, 1999
Sometimes, that happens when you come across an abundance of opportunities that looked too good to pass up.
More often than not, it is that abundance of things we feel we must do or things that people expect us to do.
As a result, what happens is that we end up spending our lives, expending ourselves.
So, one of the most empowering skills we can imbibe is the simple ability to say "no".
This is the ability to say no, not only to your boss, but also to overtime, your spouse, friends, the TV and social engagements, especially when some of these things create imbalances in your life.
Learning to say no is also one of the most difficult skills to learn. It is also one of the most valuable because, by and large, it is honouring yourself.
It involves a choice. It means saying yes to things that make us more alive and no to things that drain us and do not support us.
Just ask youself : "What do you want more of in your life?" and "What do you want less of?"
Many of us are conditioned to believe that saying no means that we are not team players, and that we are selfish.
But the reality is, for every yes you say to working late, you say no to family and leisure. You are saying yes to the fear of losing your job and powerlessness, and no to serenity.
So start saying no to things that you really do not want, at least five times a day for a week and see the difference it makes to your life.
- Mrs Rita Haque,
personal and business coach,
Haque Centre
(haque@cyberway.com.sg)
Source: The Straights Times : Wednesday, July 21, 1999