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Apr 13, 2008 19:33

Out of curiosity ( Read more... )

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bentpeter April 14 2008, 12:54:28 UTC
Geez, where do I start?

First, all BDSM relationships, begin with a negotiation. Being married, a mother, and having a professional career are limiting factors which make a live-in 24/7 service impossible for you. That's the extent of it.

Everything else is possible. As a matter of fact, it opens you up to a whole wider range of Dominants who, because of their lifestyles, prior obligations, or job demands, can't provide anyone with the level of attention a 24/7 submissive deserves.

Second, mentors can come to you from any lifestyle role. Yes, even a slave can mentor you. What you need is for someone to take on the responsibility of guiding you. Although I have known subs and Switches to have mentored, usually, it is Dominants who are willing to accept such responsibility. It's Their nature.

In regards to mentors, the mentor's only qualification is to be more experienced than you. The mentor's limitation is that they should never have "hands-on play" with you as that changes the nature of the relationship.

That last statement is very important. It deserves repeating.

Do you remember those old commercials where someone is eating or drinking some junk food and they smack themselves in the forehead while saying, "I could have had a V-8"? (V-8, the vegetable drink) you are that person.

I am figuratively smacking you in the forehead right now. We've known each other since before you were married. I am reminding you that you have friends that require nothing at all from you but your friendship.

My slave reminded Me of something the other day. It was that if certain demands weren't made of us, we'd have nothing to live for. Perhaps you should talk to her.

BP

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rayven_rlh April 14 2008, 13:04:10 UTC
*smiles* thank you for taking the time to write, BP and I will talk to her. :)

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n3rd3tt3 April 14 2008, 14:11:39 UTC
*HUGS* It can be frustrating to feel you are in a holding pattern. Certainly, connecting with friends and seeking guidance from others is helpful. Other things you can do, especially to enhance service, etc., is to study manners, etiquette and 50's style "wife" type manuals. How to iron. How to properly set a table. How to have perfectly lovely manners. How to throw a dinner party. etc etc etc

You can also do self work. Making sure that you are in a good place and setting out guidelines for yourself about what you DO want (in order to put out positive energy to the universe!

Best of luck *HUGS* We should get together sometime!

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rayven_rlh April 15 2008, 03:30:36 UTC
Hugs, Thanks hon!! We should definately get together :)

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