really long but it is where i am
so lets see
i am figuring a ton of stuff out for my future right now.
i mean a TON.
i have almost certainly decided not to do film for the fact that i don't have passion to work with other people.
i just had to take this personality test that was a whole bunch of scenarios to see what type of person i am.
i'm an introvert who enjoys being by myself thinking/reading/concentrating. i am very imaginitive and pivate. i dont like people looking through my stuff. i dont respond well under pressure because i need time to analyze the subject in my head before i give a response. i see everyone's point of view and i can be unattached or unemotional and objective. i don't share my emotions very often.
but i already knew that.
applying to college is very stressful. i dont know what to do with my life.
i dont know why i have to decide. i want to take a year off to go hang out with my uncle. i would learn so much more about life. including maybe some social skills that i havnt developed yet.
i certainly love existing in my thoughts but there are severe limitations i encounter in a daily basis. and i cannot even fathom a different thought process, although, as i said to lucas today, my thought content has completely shifted without me knowing. i have become a lot more concrete with my subjects but remain objective, maybe even more so.
this weekend at UCF was a good experience, although it consisted mostly of parties and non-school related activities. it is a possibility because i like orlando. i dont know if i can get into UF because i'm right on the cusp. if i improve my SATs by like 50 points, which would be pretty frickin hard, then i could get in. FSU is pretty clear-cut. i just need to stop procrastinating.
i really hate my job and i dont want to go anymore. i dont want to work at all but i need money to go on trips.
i'm really glad that i've stopped caring about fashion and hair/make-up. i save all of my money to get the fuck out of this place.
i have not lived at my mom's house for about a month and a half.
mikey wont hug me anymore.
i like a really nice guy.
it scares me. a lot.
i am afraid of liking people and limiting myself.
but he is nice.
i am happy on my own, though. that's actually a plus though. i am whole... perhaps enjoying a complementary person.
it is too soon to have these thoughts.
I BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET YESTERDAY.
just one. to maui for a little over a month and half.
i am going to be working as a nanny for my uncle.
pay is fabulous. location is fabulous. life is fabulous.
i leave june 18th and arrive home just in time to leave for college (whatever one that is).
but don't think you have me until june 18th.
i'm going to irland a week after i graduate. 2 weeks.
and i just got off the phone with the forementioned uncle.
spring break COULD be spent in maui or whistler. preferably whistler for obvious reasons.
and there was talk of being the nanny for an upcoming australia trip in 2007. also, africa and japan are being tossed around.
i am trying really hard to save up some money and get the ok to go to ashville in october to watch the leave change.
but i am just thinking that i really don't know if i am a fulfilled enough a person to appreciate these things on my own.
the sunset can be offensive given the right person is not around.
the sad truth.
i am ecstatic nonetheless
ok that is my basic life throw-up. have a good day.
i am figuring a ton of stuff out for my future right now.
i mean a TON.
i have almost certainly decided not to do film for the fact that i don't have passion to work with other people.
i just had to take this personality test that was a whole bunch of scenarios to see what type of person i am.
i'm an introvert who enjoys being by myself thinking/reading/concentrating. i am very imaginitive and pivate. i dont like people looking through my stuff. i dont respond well under pressure because i need time to analyze the subject in my head before i give a response. i see everyone's point of view and i can be unattached or unemotional and objective. i don't share my emotions very often.
but i already knew that.
applying to college is very stressful. i dont know what to do with my life.
i dont know why i have to decide. i want to take a year off to go hang out with my uncle. i would learn so much more about life. including maybe some social skills that i havnt developed yet.
i certainly love existing in my thoughts but there are severe limitations i encounter in a daily basis. and i cannot even fathom a different thought process, although, as i said to lucas today, my thought content has completely shifted without me knowing. i have become a lot more concrete with my subjects but remain objective, maybe even more so.
this weekend at UCF was a good experience, although it consisted mostly of parties and non-school related activities. it is a possibility because i like orlando. i dont know if i can get into UF because i'm right on the cusp. if i improve my SATs by like 50 points, which would be pretty frickin hard, then i could get in. FSU is pretty clear-cut. i just need to stop procrastinating.
i really hate my job and i dont want to go anymore. i dont want to work at all but i need money to go on trips.
i'm really glad that i've stopped caring about fashion and hair/make-up. i save all of my money to get the fuck out of this place.
i have not lived at my mom's house for about a month and a half.
mikey wont hug me anymore.
i like a really nice guy.
it scares me. a lot.
i am afraid of liking people and limiting myself.
but he is nice.
i am happy on my own, though. that's actually a plus though. i am whole... perhaps enjoying a complementary person.
it is too soon to have these thoughts.
I BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET YESTERDAY.
just one. to maui for a little over a month and half.
i am going to be working as a nanny for my uncle.
pay is fabulous. location is fabulous. life is fabulous.
i leave june 18th and arrive home just in time to leave for college (whatever one that is).
but don't think you have me until june 18th.
i'm going to irland a week after i graduate. 2 weeks.
and i just got off the phone with the forementioned uncle.
spring break COULD be spent in maui or whistler. preferably whistler for obvious reasons.
and there was talk of being the nanny for an upcoming australia trip in 2007. also, africa and japan are being tossed around.
i am trying really hard to save up some money and get the ok to go to ashville in october to watch the leave change.
but i am just thinking that i really don't know if i am a fulfilled enough a person to appreciate these things on my own.
the sunset can be offensive given the right person is not around.
the sad truth.
i am ecstatic nonetheless
ok that is my basic life throw-up. have a good day.