i can show you the world [pt. III]
a/n: fun fact: this has been sitting in my google drive since december of 2014. (omg) i literally don't remember anything??? lol oops. nevertheless, enjoy!
also like omg why do i feel so embarrassed posting this save me
on the longest day of the year, minho passes away. technically, he is put to sleep, letting him rest after battling the cancer, giving him a peaceful death instead of making him suffer. the vet had given kibum the option, and jonghyun had seconded his opinion. kibum stays with him in the cold, empty operation room, patting his head until jinki pulls him away into the hall.
kibum doesn’t cry until jinki envelopes him in a warm, comforting hug.
nobody speaks, even kibum’s sobs are silent, muffled by jinki’s jacket. jinki supports him until they reach his car, then he helps kibum into the passenger seat and tells him to sleep.
he does, he sleeps for a whole day, not waking up until the next afternoon.
--
for a month, kibum uses a walking stick to get around. jonghyun and jinki are constantly over, when they have the spare time, keeping him company at night and making sure he stays healthy. he gets used to the stick, but minho’s absence haunts him like a phantom limb.
but one day, jonghyun comes over after work to find kibum slouched on his couch, a book open on his lap. his fingers aren’t moving and his eyes are closed, but jonghyun doubts that he’s actually asleep.
jinki leaves once jonghyun arrives, going out with his soulmate. after three months, he trusts jonghyun.
“kibum,” jonghyun sits down across from kibum. “let’s go out.”
at first, kibum doesn’t reply and jonghyun thinks that maybe he really is asleep. then kibum raises his head and opens his eyes, looking straight at jonghyun with
uncanny accuracy. “where?”
“anywhere,” jonghyun replies. “everywhere. i’ll show you the world.”
kibum drops his head, resting it on his hand, and sighs.
“are you hungry? have you eaten yet?” jonghyun tries. “we can go to that pizza place you like.”
“jjong,” kibum says suddenly, sitting back up. his eyes start burning with a fierce intensity. “do you think i’m crazy? for being so heartbroken over minho?”
“no.” jonghyun gets up slowly, moving over to sit next to kibum.
“i mean, it’s not like i haven’t experienced this before. i had one seeing eye dog before minho, she was the most gentle, trustworthy dog i could ever ask for. i spent four years with her, but she retired because she was getting old, not because she was sick.” kibum’s fire dulls, his gaze drops to the floor.
“beck then, eight years ago, i was in love. i thought that she was the one, even though she told me that we weren’t soulmates. i thought we could make it work. my parents did. they’re still together even though my dad can see color and mom can’t. when she left, she told me that she could see color. i thought it was just an excuse, that she just couldn’t handle me… my disability.
“after minho was diagnosed, i met her again. she was with another girl. she said that they were soulmates. minho recognized her, and she asked why i still had ‘that old dog.’ how could she call minho ‘that old dog’? we had gotten him together, and back then she had been so in love with minho. now minho isn’t here anymore, and neither is she, and... nothing’s the same anymore.”
in that moment, jonghyun realized that kibum was still not over his first love, that his blindness was more than just a physical disability. something had happened to him that kept him from seeing the world change, from experiencing the world as it should be. that the reason kibum was depressed wasn’t fully because of the loss of minho, but also because reality, the realization that time moves on had caught up to him. “why are you telling me this?”
kibum takes in a deep, shuddering breath. “because? just because. i needed to tell someone. and i don’t want you to think that i’m crazy. although i’m not really sure how that worked out.”
jonghyun hugs kibum to him, heart breaking a bit at the false cheer in kibum’s voice, the forced chuckle that hides his tears.
“can we still go out to eat?” kibum asks after they’ve settled down.
“of course,” jonghyun replies. “and i really will show you the world.” i’ll show you not what you can’t see, or what you’ve missed, but all the possibilities out there for you.
part one | part two
also like omg why do i feel so embarrassed posting this save me
on the longest day of the year, minho passes away. technically, he is put to sleep, letting him rest after battling the cancer, giving him a peaceful death instead of making him suffer. the vet had given kibum the option, and jonghyun had seconded his opinion. kibum stays with him in the cold, empty operation room, patting his head until jinki pulls him away into the hall.
kibum doesn’t cry until jinki envelopes him in a warm, comforting hug.
nobody speaks, even kibum’s sobs are silent, muffled by jinki’s jacket. jinki supports him until they reach his car, then he helps kibum into the passenger seat and tells him to sleep.
he does, he sleeps for a whole day, not waking up until the next afternoon.
--
for a month, kibum uses a walking stick to get around. jonghyun and jinki are constantly over, when they have the spare time, keeping him company at night and making sure he stays healthy. he gets used to the stick, but minho’s absence haunts him like a phantom limb.
but one day, jonghyun comes over after work to find kibum slouched on his couch, a book open on his lap. his fingers aren’t moving and his eyes are closed, but jonghyun doubts that he’s actually asleep.
jinki leaves once jonghyun arrives, going out with his soulmate. after three months, he trusts jonghyun.
“kibum,” jonghyun sits down across from kibum. “let’s go out.”
at first, kibum doesn’t reply and jonghyun thinks that maybe he really is asleep. then kibum raises his head and opens his eyes, looking straight at jonghyun with
uncanny accuracy. “where?”
“anywhere,” jonghyun replies. “everywhere. i’ll show you the world.”
kibum drops his head, resting it on his hand, and sighs.
“are you hungry? have you eaten yet?” jonghyun tries. “we can go to that pizza place you like.”
“jjong,” kibum says suddenly, sitting back up. his eyes start burning with a fierce intensity. “do you think i’m crazy? for being so heartbroken over minho?”
“no.” jonghyun gets up slowly, moving over to sit next to kibum.
“i mean, it’s not like i haven’t experienced this before. i had one seeing eye dog before minho, she was the most gentle, trustworthy dog i could ever ask for. i spent four years with her, but she retired because she was getting old, not because she was sick.” kibum’s fire dulls, his gaze drops to the floor.
“beck then, eight years ago, i was in love. i thought that she was the one, even though she told me that we weren’t soulmates. i thought we could make it work. my parents did. they’re still together even though my dad can see color and mom can’t. when she left, she told me that she could see color. i thought it was just an excuse, that she just couldn’t handle me… my disability.
“after minho was diagnosed, i met her again. she was with another girl. she said that they were soulmates. minho recognized her, and she asked why i still had ‘that old dog.’ how could she call minho ‘that old dog’? we had gotten him together, and back then she had been so in love with minho. now minho isn’t here anymore, and neither is she, and... nothing’s the same anymore.”
in that moment, jonghyun realized that kibum was still not over his first love, that his blindness was more than just a physical disability. something had happened to him that kept him from seeing the world change, from experiencing the world as it should be. that the reason kibum was depressed wasn’t fully because of the loss of minho, but also because reality, the realization that time moves on had caught up to him. “why are you telling me this?”
kibum takes in a deep, shuddering breath. “because? just because. i needed to tell someone. and i don’t want you to think that i’m crazy. although i’m not really sure how that worked out.”
jonghyun hugs kibum to him, heart breaking a bit at the false cheer in kibum’s voice, the forced chuckle that hides his tears.
“can we still go out to eat?” kibum asks after they’ve settled down.
“of course,” jonghyun replies. “and i really will show you the world.” i’ll show you not what you can’t see, or what you’ve missed, but all the possibilities out there for you.
part one | part two