"Snow can wait, I forgot my mittens"
Massive amounts of snow today, as though the world heard my whiny cries for winter and Christmas feeling and things. There was Snow as I walked to school today (late, with B, wearing big boots) and again Snow as I walked home (quickly, early, hurrying to meet the gas man who has not yet arrived), and still at 2:45 there is Snow. At one point, the Snow had drifted enough for it to come up to my knees as I trudged along where I thought the sidewalk might be. And now, cocoa with ancho chile and cinnamon.
Last night I went to the new Starbucks after my ER rotation. When I called Jamin to see if he was still there, he said, "It's a party." I didn't know what he meant, until I got there to see the free, free, free samples! Cranberry bliss bars, espresso fudge brownies, lemon cake, gingerbread, peppermint mocha, gingerbread latte, ohmygod. And thus I became sugared and caffeinated and ended up staying there in this perfect American, commercial holiday setting until 9. And no work was done.
On Monday, Jamin gave all of the members of the anatomy group copies of a photo of the four of us from Halloween. From left to right: Karen/Rogue, Jamin/Smurf, Christina/Galadriel, Brandon/Musketeer. The look on my face is the one from oh-so-many party pictures. You know. I like that Jamin made copies for us. I like that I have something of the four of us. I like that I have a memento of that night, not that I didn't already have ways to hold it in my memory.
Related to that night in some ways, but more related to med school and people here and how I am now: remember how I was in high school? No, you don't (except for Jenny or maybe Marie). Neither did I until recently. Parts of it are back. Not the recklessness, or the acting out of boredom, or the unfulfilled impatience. Rather, the singing to myself because I want to, the letting myself be carried away out of control in things I haven't planned, and the belief that connections can be strong enough and real enough and magical enough to be what I want them to be. In many ways, I think I know the moment that I stopped believing/doing those things. It was in January, 2001, can't remember the exact day. I didn't realize at the time that it was a loss; I thought it was growing up. I like what I'm getting back.
Last night I went to the new Starbucks after my ER rotation. When I called Jamin to see if he was still there, he said, "It's a party." I didn't know what he meant, until I got there to see the free, free, free samples! Cranberry bliss bars, espresso fudge brownies, lemon cake, gingerbread, peppermint mocha, gingerbread latte, ohmygod. And thus I became sugared and caffeinated and ended up staying there in this perfect American, commercial holiday setting until 9. And no work was done.
On Monday, Jamin gave all of the members of the anatomy group copies of a photo of the four of us from Halloween. From left to right: Karen/Rogue, Jamin/Smurf, Christina/Galadriel, Brandon/Musketeer. The look on my face is the one from oh-so-many party pictures. You know. I like that Jamin made copies for us. I like that I have something of the four of us. I like that I have a memento of that night, not that I didn't already have ways to hold it in my memory.
Related to that night in some ways, but more related to med school and people here and how I am now: remember how I was in high school? No, you don't (except for Jenny or maybe Marie). Neither did I until recently. Parts of it are back. Not the recklessness, or the acting out of boredom, or the unfulfilled impatience. Rather, the singing to myself because I want to, the letting myself be carried away out of control in things I haven't planned, and the belief that connections can be strong enough and real enough and magical enough to be what I want them to be. In many ways, I think I know the moment that I stopped believing/doing those things. It was in January, 2001, can't remember the exact day. I didn't realize at the time that it was a loss; I thought it was growing up. I like what I'm getting back.