letting my feelings out
ok so, i am going to make use of this livejournal besides bullshitting on it. It's time to talk about my feelings, somehow.
I feel like i keep hitting a brick wall, with everything i do. It's like no matter what i do, i'm on a crash course into the end of the line, going 95 miles an hour. I know that i'm extreme in everything i do, but now it's all becoming wear and tear on myself. I don't like the person i was, so i'm trying to change into the person i should be. I'm trying to undo 22 years of my life experiences way too quick, things like that take time to change, it's always going to be a struggle. For example, some people can quit smoking and not think anything of it, some it's hell.
How else do i feel? I do feel alone, even when i'm around people i know/trust/care about. I don't know, but it's like there's something in me that will always feel as though i don't belong, or i don't deserve, or i'm not good enough. It's my self-doubt that makes me think these things, i know that, but it's been very strong lately, and i don't feel like i have the strength to overcome it sometimes.
I feel that i don't deserve a lot of people's kindness, or people's affection sometimes too. I feel like i don't do enough to recieve these acts from people. I've been moody, selfish, unverbal about things, and i've been avoiding a lot of people. I feel like a fool a lot of times.
I know i lack in the common sense department, and i'm trying to fix that as well.
i'm scared of myself, and what i do.
I don't like talking about myself to people, i'm private when it comes to my feelings, or what i'm thinking. I don't want to burden people with it, because it makes me uncomfortable.
i don't know, i just feel really vulnerable right now, and i'm scared of myself
i'm scared
I feel like i keep hitting a brick wall, with everything i do. It's like no matter what i do, i'm on a crash course into the end of the line, going 95 miles an hour. I know that i'm extreme in everything i do, but now it's all becoming wear and tear on myself. I don't like the person i was, so i'm trying to change into the person i should be. I'm trying to undo 22 years of my life experiences way too quick, things like that take time to change, it's always going to be a struggle. For example, some people can quit smoking and not think anything of it, some it's hell.
How else do i feel? I do feel alone, even when i'm around people i know/trust/care about. I don't know, but it's like there's something in me that will always feel as though i don't belong, or i don't deserve, or i'm not good enough. It's my self-doubt that makes me think these things, i know that, but it's been very strong lately, and i don't feel like i have the strength to overcome it sometimes.
I feel that i don't deserve a lot of people's kindness, or people's affection sometimes too. I feel like i don't do enough to recieve these acts from people. I've been moody, selfish, unverbal about things, and i've been avoiding a lot of people. I feel like a fool a lot of times.
I know i lack in the common sense department, and i'm trying to fix that as well.
i'm scared of myself, and what i do.
I don't like talking about myself to people, i'm private when it comes to my feelings, or what i'm thinking. I don't want to burden people with it, because it makes me uncomfortable.
i don't know, i just feel really vulnerable right now, and i'm scared of myself
i'm scared