The Day of the Dumb
While I'm waiting on it to be time to go to math class, let me tell you about my day.
A lady calls. Her accent is thick, but mostly understandable. We have a couple of instances where I have no idea what she means, but we work that part out.
She starts out telling me she got a baby Chihuahua. She wants to know what we carry.
Pet supplies and food.
Do we have X? Yes, we do. For baby Chihuahuas? Yes, we do. Do we have Y? Yes, we do. For baby Chihuahuas? ...yes, we do. Repeat about 5 or 6 times. Annoying, but nothing new.
Then she wants to know where we are.
We're off of X Major Road across from Y Major Road in the same shopping center as Big Lots and McDonalds.
She doesn't know where that is. She asks is we're by an Oriental place, we're not. She wants to know what's in our shopping center. Big Lots and McDonalds. And a small Hibachi place. She asks if we're by...that place that sells cheap stuff. She can't remember the name. What's in the shopping center again? Big Lots and- "That's it! Big Lots." ...really? Really? I've only mention it like six times. (Obviously, this rendition is shorter.)
The dog tag machine. I hate this thing. People buy their tokens from me. I hand them their tokens, "Touch the screen and follow the directions. You put the tokens in at the end when you're done."
"Okay!" says the happy customer and they take their items and go over to the tag machine. And proceed to put the tokens in. Strange, it seems to be spitting them back out...well they'll just keep putting them in there. It's bound to take them eventually!
"...touch the screen first."
"Oh!" They touch the screen. It has a selection of 8 tags for them to choose from. Obviously, they should put the tokens in now. Wait, what?
"....pick which tag you want."
"Oh!" They pick their tag. They miraculously do not try to put more tokens in at this point. It has 4 opens. 1 line, 2 lines, 3 lines, or 4. They hit 1. They fill in their animal's name. They hit continue. But wait, it's asking for tokens now! But they aren't done! It must be broken.
At this point I was out of customers to ring up and went to babysit him through it.
I hate when people cut their own aquarium backing. We sell it by the foot. If they're 2 feet 4 inches, I have to charge them for 3.
I also hate a co-worker, who gave me a hard time instead of getting me the effing yard stick when I asked for it...but that's beside the point.
And another phone call.
Lady calls and asks what our groomers charge to give birds baths. I am confused, but know little about birds. "We don't do grooming here. Our stores in X City and Y Town do though."
"Can you give me their number?"
"Which one would you like?"
"Never mind, I've got it."
Okay. I shrug and move on with life. Phone rings. One of my co-workers answer it. "No ma'am, we don't do grooming here. And I don't think they'll really give a bird a bath..."
She called right back. He ended up talking her through spritzing her bird with water. For a good 5 minutes.
This one is from last week or the week before. Warning: It contains disregard for non-human life.
Lady comes in with 3 dead fish. I look and she had just bought them that morning. My aquatics co-worker was up at the register with me, so we both got to hear this exchange.
As best as I can tell, she bought the fish (and according to the person she bought it from, told them she had her tank set up for 3 days), went home, set up her tank, and put the fish in.
She kept insisting that "it's fresh water, it's fresh water". Fish don't live in fresh water, lady.
She wanted more fish. We told her they would die. Co-worker told her that she could come back in a couple of days to get more fish, he would make a note. She didn't want to come "all the way back" in a couple of days. Just get her the fish now.
We both said (in unison, it was great) "They're going to die."
"I'm not going to think like that."
I don't care how you think, it's the fish that won't be thinking anymore.
The manager ended up giving her the money back, but she got no new fish.
There were more, but it is class time and this is long.
A lady calls. Her accent is thick, but mostly understandable. We have a couple of instances where I have no idea what she means, but we work that part out.
She starts out telling me she got a baby Chihuahua. She wants to know what we carry.
Pet supplies and food.
Do we have X? Yes, we do. For baby Chihuahuas? Yes, we do. Do we have Y? Yes, we do. For baby Chihuahuas? ...yes, we do. Repeat about 5 or 6 times. Annoying, but nothing new.
Then she wants to know where we are.
We're off of X Major Road across from Y Major Road in the same shopping center as Big Lots and McDonalds.
She doesn't know where that is. She asks is we're by an Oriental place, we're not. She wants to know what's in our shopping center. Big Lots and McDonalds. And a small Hibachi place. She asks if we're by...that place that sells cheap stuff. She can't remember the name. What's in the shopping center again? Big Lots and- "That's it! Big Lots." ...really? Really? I've only mention it like six times. (Obviously, this rendition is shorter.)
The dog tag machine. I hate this thing. People buy their tokens from me. I hand them their tokens, "Touch the screen and follow the directions. You put the tokens in at the end when you're done."
"Okay!" says the happy customer and they take their items and go over to the tag machine. And proceed to put the tokens in. Strange, it seems to be spitting them back out...well they'll just keep putting them in there. It's bound to take them eventually!
"...touch the screen first."
"Oh!" They touch the screen. It has a selection of 8 tags for them to choose from. Obviously, they should put the tokens in now. Wait, what?
"....pick which tag you want."
"Oh!" They pick their tag. They miraculously do not try to put more tokens in at this point. It has 4 opens. 1 line, 2 lines, 3 lines, or 4. They hit 1. They fill in their animal's name. They hit continue. But wait, it's asking for tokens now! But they aren't done! It must be broken.
At this point I was out of customers to ring up and went to babysit him through it.
I hate when people cut their own aquarium backing. We sell it by the foot. If they're 2 feet 4 inches, I have to charge them for 3.
I also hate a co-worker, who gave me a hard time instead of getting me the effing yard stick when I asked for it...but that's beside the point.
And another phone call.
Lady calls and asks what our groomers charge to give birds baths. I am confused, but know little about birds. "We don't do grooming here. Our stores in X City and Y Town do though."
"Can you give me their number?"
"Which one would you like?"
"Never mind, I've got it."
Okay. I shrug and move on with life. Phone rings. One of my co-workers answer it. "No ma'am, we don't do grooming here. And I don't think they'll really give a bird a bath..."
She called right back. He ended up talking her through spritzing her bird with water. For a good 5 minutes.
This one is from last week or the week before. Warning: It contains disregard for non-human life.
Lady comes in with 3 dead fish. I look and she had just bought them that morning. My aquatics co-worker was up at the register with me, so we both got to hear this exchange.
As best as I can tell, she bought the fish (and according to the person she bought it from, told them she had her tank set up for 3 days), went home, set up her tank, and put the fish in.
She kept insisting that "it's fresh water, it's fresh water". Fish don't live in fresh water, lady.
She wanted more fish. We told her they would die. Co-worker told her that she could come back in a couple of days to get more fish, he would make a note. She didn't want to come "all the way back" in a couple of days. Just get her the fish now.
We both said (in unison, it was great) "They're going to die."
"I'm not going to think like that."
I don't care how you think, it's the fish that won't be thinking anymore.
The manager ended up giving her the money back, but she got no new fish.
There were more, but it is class time and this is long.