Finally
I know, it has been a long time since I posted last. Hopefully LJ doesnt do anything funky as I write this.
I have had a lot goin on lately. But it wasnt until today that I felt like writing about it.
First, I have been fighting and talking with my parents about Bear, a dog at the Humane Society here. I ran off on Sunday into the woods. I couldnt stand fighting again. It developed from being almost suicidal into a nice walk where I worked off my anger. That night I talked to them about it, and told them I would find them the laws and info on PSDs. Today made me feel hopeless though. And for once, it wasnt my parents that made me feel that. It was my shrink! We had group, and as I was telling them how confident, outgoing, and just what I feel the 'real' me is when I am with dogs, she cuts in and tells me I am being manipulitive and trying to convince myself and them this is a good idea. I know I jusmp from interest to interest all the time, but for months now, it is something I have researched DAILY, talked about, and just thought about. Even as I was doing all of these other things. I told them all how I am afraid of teenagers here, how I basically don't go out to places here without someone, and the only ones here are my parents. They said that all I want is a friend and I just need to get out and make friends, to go to 'Mixers' (excuse me, but what the FUCK? a MIXER? I am not in Jr High in the 60's!) I am starting to think that this group isnt the best idea for me. All it does is make me feel worse because everyone is at least 15 years older than me. They are all moms, and see things from my parents points. One of them did, I think, mention how she understands how a dog comforts me in public, and makes me less nervous. I dunno. I see my shrink on Fri, and plan to yell at her then. She keeps making me mad.
My health really is sucking ass lately. I had a sinus infection, which I got antibiodics for, which caused a yeast infection, which probably caused a UTI. I have to go to the doc tomorrow.Or at least I hope I can get in to see her. Then, hopefully, I will go down and work for a while. It has been almost a week. I don't know what I am gonna do if Bear isnt there anymore. *sigh* I dont even wanna think of it.
eljae
I have had a lot goin on lately. But it wasnt until today that I felt like writing about it.
First, I have been fighting and talking with my parents about Bear, a dog at the Humane Society here. I ran off on Sunday into the woods. I couldnt stand fighting again. It developed from being almost suicidal into a nice walk where I worked off my anger. That night I talked to them about it, and told them I would find them the laws and info on PSDs. Today made me feel hopeless though. And for once, it wasnt my parents that made me feel that. It was my shrink! We had group, and as I was telling them how confident, outgoing, and just what I feel the 'real' me is when I am with dogs, she cuts in and tells me I am being manipulitive and trying to convince myself and them this is a good idea. I know I jusmp from interest to interest all the time, but for months now, it is something I have researched DAILY, talked about, and just thought about. Even as I was doing all of these other things. I told them all how I am afraid of teenagers here, how I basically don't go out to places here without someone, and the only ones here are my parents. They said that all I want is a friend and I just need to get out and make friends, to go to 'Mixers' (excuse me, but what the FUCK? a MIXER? I am not in Jr High in the 60's!) I am starting to think that this group isnt the best idea for me. All it does is make me feel worse because everyone is at least 15 years older than me. They are all moms, and see things from my parents points. One of them did, I think, mention how she understands how a dog comforts me in public, and makes me less nervous. I dunno. I see my shrink on Fri, and plan to yell at her then. She keeps making me mad.
My health really is sucking ass lately. I had a sinus infection, which I got antibiodics for, which caused a yeast infection, which probably caused a UTI. I have to go to the doc tomorrow.Or at least I hope I can get in to see her. Then, hopefully, I will go down and work for a while. It has been almost a week. I don't know what I am gonna do if Bear isnt there anymore. *sigh* I dont even wanna think of it.
eljae