Pow.
I went to a bar that used to be 'The Manhole' to celebrate St. Patrick's Day...kinda. Drinks were too expensive and their drag kings were singing terrible songs.
I sat in the back, sipping alcohol and noticed a boy that looked exactly like Matt. I froze and held my breath and kept looking at him, then repeated in my head "That is not Matt...There's no way that is Matt..."
After he turned around completely it was obviously not him. But for that moment when I trick myself into thinking...maybe...
When I am randomly reminded that he is completely gone, it hurts the most.
Which makes me think about summertime and how much different this one will be. Allen is staying at Southern for summer school this year, which means no summertime sex...which I was very much looking forward to.
And Matt won't be here.
It makes me feel sick inside.
I sat in the back, sipping alcohol and noticed a boy that looked exactly like Matt. I froze and held my breath and kept looking at him, then repeated in my head "That is not Matt...There's no way that is Matt..."
After he turned around completely it was obviously not him. But for that moment when I trick myself into thinking...maybe...
When I am randomly reminded that he is completely gone, it hurts the most.
Which makes me think about summertime and how much different this one will be. Allen is staying at Southern for summer school this year, which means no summertime sex...which I was very much looking forward to.
And Matt won't be here.
It makes me feel sick inside.