Bisexuality Rant

[raynala]

As a bisexual girl, I like to think I’ve got the best of both worlds. I am very happy with my philosophy that people love people, regardless of gender. The way I see it, some people have a “type.” You know, brown hair, nice teeth, sense of humor, love of video games… in my totally unscientific and unsupported-by-any-evidence-at-all kind-of world, a

Comments

[juushika]

And so it drives me crazy when people say that it's a "choice"; sure, you can choose to pretend, or choose to be loud and proud, or choose to ignore your instincts, but you don't wake up one day and say "I think I'll be bi today because it sounds like fun." I'm of the opinion that it is pretty fun, haha, but I didn't "decide" to be that way. I just always was.

I chose to be bisexual. I chose because I'm a woman who's approximately 70%/30% attracted to men/women and I'm in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. To an outsider, I look perfectly heteronormative, just another straight girl dating a straight guy. Instead, I chose to be bisexual—so maybe my initial attraction to female-bodied individuals is hardwired, but almost any expression of that attraction is a conscious, intentional action and revealing my sexual orientation to others is likewise an intentional choice.

I think the "it's not a choice" argument isn't necessarily productive. The fact that someone is "born that way" or otherwise didn't "decide to be that way" doesn't justify anything—a pedophile or a sociopath is still condemnable, even if they have every psychological or physical motivation. Indeed, homosexuality and bisexuality and otherwise non-heteronormative identities don't need justification—who cares if they're innate, if they're created, if they're natural or if they're a choice. They are harmless, they have no victims, they are free and healthy expressions of personality.

A lot of people use "I didn't chose" to justify their non-normative sexualities, so this isn't really directed at your statement—it just prompted a mini-rant of my own. But I wish that we could move away from attempts to justify those sexualities as natural or innate, as if choosing them is a bad thing. It's always perfectly valid to have these sorts of non-normative attractions or relationships. No justification is necessary, and trying to justify them opens the door to opposing arguments.