(no subject)
Yeah so I got breathalized tonight.
I know I don't usually tell any sort of story very often when I write in this thing, but tonight was a fucking story and a half.
For starters I have basically decided that the only reason I go to bars with my friends is because that's where my friends are going...I'm trying to drink less so I almost never get drunk anymore and just kind of hang in the background while more or less everyone drinks. That being said tonight was pretty much the same deal...A friend from school owed me a gram from a previous evening, and he finally gave it to me today at school. That's fine. Me being me I smoked a couple joints and had another joint left in a container I had. This is important background information.
Actually, let's go back. I woke up this morning at 6:30am so I could get ready and be at class for 8am. I learned subnetting, did math homework and listened to my linux teacher read from a text book. Still no police involved. Things are still fine here. After my first block of class, Lauren and I met up to rent movies for an upcoming lazy day and also eat food. After food I had to go back do a presentation in my ghetto communications class (pseudo english for ESL and retards, I didn't write no stinkin' placement test!) I talked for twice as long as the minimum because I definitely thought I didn't have enough of a presentation and my on the spot filler evidently overcompensated huge. Sweet. Despite being long, I have no complaints about my day at this point.
I happened to be on the phone as I was leaving my school parking lot, which I need a pass to get out of. This means that I only have one hand and some cards in my wallet end up on the floor of the car. I think I pick them all up before driving away. I am wrong. This is obvious foreshadowing.
SKIP AHEAD SKIP AHEAD SKIP AHEAD
In the downtime, things you need to know:
1. I rolled 3 smaaaall joints and smoked almost 2 over the course of the evening.
2. I begrudgingly drank ONE beer.
3. This is the important one and makes me have spooky-esque thoughts: Before leaving the library to do my presentation, I make use of someone who hasn't logged off of the school network's print credits. I e-mail my assignment to myself with the subject "THIS IS BAD KARMA", and use the print credits anyway.
My friends get drunk. High fives are had, pool is played and for some reason bandanas are worn.I am now half asleep and on my way home. Skipping further ahead, I am roughly < 2 minutes from my house and going a bit (like 10-20km) over 100 because like I said, I'm close to home and want to go to sleep. I make note of a car's headlights as I speed past the road immediately before the one that my house is on.
Immediately after turning onto my road, the car turns out to be, in fact, of the police variety.
I shit my pants.
The guy comes to the window and asks for my licence. Great. I look through my wallet and hand it to him.
1. It's not my G, for some reason I have not gotten rid of my G2 (I think it's because I'm retarded)
2. I can't find my G anywhere in my wallet.
He asks me if I've had anything to drink. I tell the truth: one beer. He decides this is enough to breathalyze me. I am unshaken-- having already figuratively and almost literally shit my pants, I didn't think this could be much worse.
I am wrong.
I completely forget about my drug paraphanelia- container with joint and 2 roaches in it, rolling machine and papers. The officer does not and asks me what's in my pocket.
I tell the truth. He takes everything.
I blow in the breathalyzer and somehow blow a zero. The lady officer who gave me the test says she has never seen anyone who admitted to drinking (ONE FRIGGIN BEER) blow a 0.0 before.
I shit my pants again but for opposite reasons.
I have awkward banter with officer about my drug habits.
He tells me a criminal offence would ruin my chances of employment.
I nod. They let me go.
I get home and find my G on the floor under my seat.
I know I don't usually tell any sort of story very often when I write in this thing, but tonight was a fucking story and a half.
For starters I have basically decided that the only reason I go to bars with my friends is because that's where my friends are going...I'm trying to drink less so I almost never get drunk anymore and just kind of hang in the background while more or less everyone drinks. That being said tonight was pretty much the same deal...A friend from school owed me a gram from a previous evening, and he finally gave it to me today at school. That's fine. Me being me I smoked a couple joints and had another joint left in a container I had. This is important background information.
Actually, let's go back. I woke up this morning at 6:30am so I could get ready and be at class for 8am. I learned subnetting, did math homework and listened to my linux teacher read from a text book. Still no police involved. Things are still fine here. After my first block of class, Lauren and I met up to rent movies for an upcoming lazy day and also eat food. After food I had to go back do a presentation in my ghetto communications class (pseudo english for ESL and retards, I didn't write no stinkin' placement test!) I talked for twice as long as the minimum because I definitely thought I didn't have enough of a presentation and my on the spot filler evidently overcompensated huge. Sweet. Despite being long, I have no complaints about my day at this point.
I happened to be on the phone as I was leaving my school parking lot, which I need a pass to get out of. This means that I only have one hand and some cards in my wallet end up on the floor of the car. I think I pick them all up before driving away. I am wrong. This is obvious foreshadowing.
SKIP AHEAD SKIP AHEAD SKIP AHEAD
In the downtime, things you need to know:
1. I rolled 3 smaaaall joints and smoked almost 2 over the course of the evening.
2. I begrudgingly drank ONE beer.
3. This is the important one and makes me have spooky-esque thoughts: Before leaving the library to do my presentation, I make use of someone who hasn't logged off of the school network's print credits. I e-mail my assignment to myself with the subject "THIS IS BAD KARMA", and use the print credits anyway.
My friends get drunk. High fives are had, pool is played and for some reason bandanas are worn.I am now half asleep and on my way home. Skipping further ahead, I am roughly < 2 minutes from my house and going a bit (like 10-20km) over 100 because like I said, I'm close to home and want to go to sleep. I make note of a car's headlights as I speed past the road immediately before the one that my house is on.
Immediately after turning onto my road, the car turns out to be, in fact, of the police variety.
I shit my pants.
The guy comes to the window and asks for my licence. Great. I look through my wallet and hand it to him.
1. It's not my G, for some reason I have not gotten rid of my G2 (I think it's because I'm retarded)
2. I can't find my G anywhere in my wallet.
He asks me if I've had anything to drink. I tell the truth: one beer. He decides this is enough to breathalyze me. I am unshaken-- having already figuratively and almost literally shit my pants, I didn't think this could be much worse.
I am wrong.
I completely forget about my drug paraphanelia- container with joint and 2 roaches in it, rolling machine and papers. The officer does not and asks me what's in my pocket.
I tell the truth. He takes everything.
I blow in the breathalyzer and somehow blow a zero. The lady officer who gave me the test says she has never seen anyone who admitted to drinking (ONE FRIGGIN BEER) blow a 0.0 before.
I shit my pants again but for opposite reasons.
I have awkward banter with officer about my drug habits.
He tells me a criminal offence would ruin my chances of employment.
I nod. They let me go.
I get home and find my G on the floor under my seat.