Everything you wanted to know about Sesame Street and less

[rayluxuryacht]

Here's a FAQ about Sesame Street I found on the web. I thought I'd reprint it here for your entertainment.

http://www.sesameworkshop.org/aboutus/inside_faq.php#9040705

I didn't tweak any of the answers, I swear ;)

Why does Sesame Street use Spanish in the

Comments

What's green and smells like bacon?

[missnickers]

ROTFLMAO, are you SURE you didnt make these up??? Cuz they sound made up. But if you say you didn't, I have to believe you. ;)

"If Elmo and Grover had a baby, what would it look like?

That weird little guy from Lord of the Rings. What was his name? Oh yeah, Orlando Bloom."

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh I love it.

"The Count gives my children nightmares! How can you have such a scary character on the show?

Mathematics terrifies all of us. But it's part of life, and children need to become familiar with it as soon as possible. "

"Hey, they Count's a vampire, right? So... they ever show him doin' someone in and then feeding on him?"

"You're asking me if there's ever been a Seasame Street in which the Count kills someone and then drinks their blood for sustinence?"

"Yeah."

"No. No, they've never done that."

"Do Muppets masturbate?

No. Muppets do not possess genitalia. Plus, most of them only have four fingers. They couldn't grab it if they had it. "

So.... it takes five fingers to masturbate??? I was not aware of that. Most toons only have four fingers, so they apparently lack the ability too.

"I friggin' hate Elmo. Will you kill him off, please?

We can't. He has mob ties. And I think he also possesses nuclear weapons."

Can you see him waving a switchblade and saying, "Does Elmo gotta cut a bitch?!"

Kermit the Hog?

[rayluxuryacht]

They actually DID do an episode where Elmo and Oscar got into a switchblade fight. They disagreed over what number comes after seven. The grownups wanted to ask the Count to step in and settle things, but hey- if Elmo's waving a switchblade around, you don't argue.

In case you're wondering who won... let's just suffice it to say it was very convenient that Oscar was already in a garbage can.

They should have done a show where the Count kills someone and drinks their blood for sustenance. "One sip... two sip... three sips." Or when he's biting some woman on the neck. "First, here's one fang... then two fangs!"

Just wait till you see the episode where the Count counts his girlfriend's multiple orgasms. Three words: best episode ever.

What do you have when you've got 2 green balls in your hand?

[missnickers]

The Count doesn't look like the kind of guy who could give a girl multiple orgasms.... but maybe that's one of his vampire powers. He counts backwards by 7 to prolong his lovemaking sessions.

Asking Carrot Top to cough?

[rayluxuryacht]

Maybe the girl has a fang fetish. Actually, we should probably ask what the Count is making love WITH, since we already established they don't have genitals. On second thought, maybe we shouldn't ask that at all.