Well It Finnaly Happened
Yesterday me and Bianca broke up (looks like for good this time)
We have been going thru some really hard times ever since we moved out of the Murrietta Apartment in Sherman Oaks. Basically homeless living with Tim and Then with Kevin (both of whom i am forever gratefull too)waiting on my deposit check and looking for a place to call my own. But living on the westside is hard and expensive.
B ended up getting a job at a fitness center and things were looking good, we were gonna get a really nice 1 bedroom with a washer and dryer inside and a fireplace and everything brand new.
Then shit started to go downhill really fast, i have been stressing at work trying to make enough money to afford the things we would need to survive. But one thing led to another and me and B were not gettign along anymore (mostly due to the stress of not having a place to call home for 2 months now). Then she did something that i was not to proud of and made Kevin feel uncomftable to be around her so he kicked her out basically. On the way to dropping her off i find out she is close to lossing her new job and they droped her hours down to 8 a week (not enough for us to affrod living at this new place we were looking at. Then she said fine now im out of your hair and you dont have to deal with me. This made me blow up and i pulled the car over and told her how i feel and what has been bringing me down for the last couple of months and years. I have had problems with her not keeping a job and not finding work for months at a time in the 3 and a half years we have been together. Not haveing her drivers licence and not even trying to get it. and bassicaslly told her it is time to grow up and become an adult and that i am at my wits end on what to do with her. I still love her to death, and i dont wish harm to her at all. But when you try everything to get someone to become an adult and they don't listen it gets fustrating. You do everything in your power to make this person happy and mature them up and get them away from the bad people in her life and you expect to have them working and driving by the time they are 20 and it just feels like your spinning a wheel and it's not moving.
All i ever wanted was for her to have a job that gives her good hours and half decent pay shit i dident care if it was minimum wage just as long as she pulled decent hours, and to get her drivers licence so that way we could save up and buy her first car together. Thats all i wanted, thats really not much to ask for someone who you plan on dedicating the rest of your life to.
I mean what would you do if you were in my shoes?
I know she probaly doesnt understand why i broke up with her at all, and im sure she has it twisting ass backwards. But truth be known i still love her with all my heart and i just cant see her being my wife one day if she cant hold down a job and is too scared to drive. Im not a rich man by any means and i can not afford to take care of myself and take care of her at the same time.
I just wish she would of done these things sooner because now it is to late for me to just up and take her back like i have many times in the past.
I don't know many people that would do as much as i did for her for as long as i did, and deal with as much as i have with our relationship. But a man has to draw the line sometimes and she crossed it.
I hope all is well with her, and i hope she gets her act together. Not for me but for herself.
I hope me doing this will teach her the fundamentals of life as a adult. Because if not then she is in for a horrible life.
If you see this bianca please don't be mad at me, I did this for the best interst of both of us. I don't want you thinking i hate you, because i don't. I just can't see myself being with someone who is not willing to help themself, and wants to have other people carry them thru it all. Im not that man.
for the people that read this sorry for the emo trip im just not in a good place right now
We have been going thru some really hard times ever since we moved out of the Murrietta Apartment in Sherman Oaks. Basically homeless living with Tim and Then with Kevin (both of whom i am forever gratefull too)waiting on my deposit check and looking for a place to call my own. But living on the westside is hard and expensive.
B ended up getting a job at a fitness center and things were looking good, we were gonna get a really nice 1 bedroom with a washer and dryer inside and a fireplace and everything brand new.
Then shit started to go downhill really fast, i have been stressing at work trying to make enough money to afford the things we would need to survive. But one thing led to another and me and B were not gettign along anymore (mostly due to the stress of not having a place to call home for 2 months now). Then she did something that i was not to proud of and made Kevin feel uncomftable to be around her so he kicked her out basically. On the way to dropping her off i find out she is close to lossing her new job and they droped her hours down to 8 a week (not enough for us to affrod living at this new place we were looking at. Then she said fine now im out of your hair and you dont have to deal with me. This made me blow up and i pulled the car over and told her how i feel and what has been bringing me down for the last couple of months and years. I have had problems with her not keeping a job and not finding work for months at a time in the 3 and a half years we have been together. Not haveing her drivers licence and not even trying to get it. and bassicaslly told her it is time to grow up and become an adult and that i am at my wits end on what to do with her. I still love her to death, and i dont wish harm to her at all. But when you try everything to get someone to become an adult and they don't listen it gets fustrating. You do everything in your power to make this person happy and mature them up and get them away from the bad people in her life and you expect to have them working and driving by the time they are 20 and it just feels like your spinning a wheel and it's not moving.
All i ever wanted was for her to have a job that gives her good hours and half decent pay shit i dident care if it was minimum wage just as long as she pulled decent hours, and to get her drivers licence so that way we could save up and buy her first car together. Thats all i wanted, thats really not much to ask for someone who you plan on dedicating the rest of your life to.
I mean what would you do if you were in my shoes?
I know she probaly doesnt understand why i broke up with her at all, and im sure she has it twisting ass backwards. But truth be known i still love her with all my heart and i just cant see her being my wife one day if she cant hold down a job and is too scared to drive. Im not a rich man by any means and i can not afford to take care of myself and take care of her at the same time.
I just wish she would of done these things sooner because now it is to late for me to just up and take her back like i have many times in the past.
I don't know many people that would do as much as i did for her for as long as i did, and deal with as much as i have with our relationship. But a man has to draw the line sometimes and she crossed it.
I hope all is well with her, and i hope she gets her act together. Not for me but for herself.
I hope me doing this will teach her the fundamentals of life as a adult. Because if not then she is in for a horrible life.
If you see this bianca please don't be mad at me, I did this for the best interst of both of us. I don't want you thinking i hate you, because i don't. I just can't see myself being with someone who is not willing to help themself, and wants to have other people carry them thru it all. Im not that man.
for the people that read this sorry for the emo trip im just not in a good place right now