Status report
*DA relevant news removed*
In lighter news, Joecifur (http://dragonsteel.org/) has finally re-opened, and things are looking optimal for a Joshua fursuit to be completed by the end of this year, and on budget too, although I've received no full confirmation of things. However, the point is, things are moving at last. Of course, my doubts choose now to begin plaguing me with indecision, "Am I really a fox?", "Do I really want a suit?", "Is it worth all the money?", "What if I don't like it, or never wear it?". Right now I'm just doing my best to keep such thoughts at bay, and one thing that's really helping is having been able to see Taubu Lion in full suit last Saturday night at Aussie's party. And yet now that I think of it...somehow it's partly the cause of these doubts as well...*sigh*
I haven't got long, I've got a quantum physics lecture in 10 minutes, but before I log off, there's something else I need to get off my chest. It's going to be ugly, I feel...but I can't help feeling like a terrible friend to people all the time. I've got no idea if it's paranoia or actually justified, but...the feeling's there none-the-less. I feel like I use, and possibly abuse people, focus only on myself, always on myself...I feel like I neglect people. I'm always asking, and very rarely do I ever give anymore. I always talk about myself, never ask about how others are doing except as an afterthought. I sit on this site just waiting for comments to roll in sometimes, yet never do I go out to actively comment on other's journals and deviations.
I don't want pity, I don't want to be a moaner or a whinger either. And I'm not even sure if I want to know the truth. But I know that I feel that what I'm doing right now is not the right thing, or not enough of it. I need to step up and be there for other people, instead of waiting for them to come to me all the friggin' time...
*sigh*...lecture time. Hope everyone out there is doing alright, where-ever you are and whatever you're up to.
- Ray
In lighter news, Joecifur (http://dragonsteel.org/) has finally re-opened, and things are looking optimal for a Joshua fursuit to be completed by the end of this year, and on budget too, although I've received no full confirmation of things. However, the point is, things are moving at last. Of course, my doubts choose now to begin plaguing me with indecision, "Am I really a fox?", "Do I really want a suit?", "Is it worth all the money?", "What if I don't like it, or never wear it?". Right now I'm just doing my best to keep such thoughts at bay, and one thing that's really helping is having been able to see Taubu Lion in full suit last Saturday night at Aussie's party. And yet now that I think of it...somehow it's partly the cause of these doubts as well...*sigh*
I haven't got long, I've got a quantum physics lecture in 10 minutes, but before I log off, there's something else I need to get off my chest. It's going to be ugly, I feel...but I can't help feeling like a terrible friend to people all the time. I've got no idea if it's paranoia or actually justified, but...the feeling's there none-the-less. I feel like I use, and possibly abuse people, focus only on myself, always on myself...I feel like I neglect people. I'm always asking, and very rarely do I ever give anymore. I always talk about myself, never ask about how others are doing except as an afterthought. I sit on this site just waiting for comments to roll in sometimes, yet never do I go out to actively comment on other's journals and deviations.
I don't want pity, I don't want to be a moaner or a whinger either. And I'm not even sure if I want to know the truth. But I know that I feel that what I'm doing right now is not the right thing, or not enough of it. I need to step up and be there for other people, instead of waiting for them to come to me all the friggin' time...
*sigh*...lecture time. Hope everyone out there is doing alright, where-ever you are and whatever you're up to.
- Ray