The Evil Empire
I finally was able to cancel my AOL account the other day.
We had AOL years ago when our original ISP was consumed by them. I hated it. But eventually we were able to get a different ISP, and when that one also sold out, I decided to pay for the internet access. Two years of Earthlink, which is *decent*, followed.
Then about two years ago, Dad did some upgrading and some deleting and screwed up Earthlink. And we couldn't fix it, and couldn't reinstall it, and basically were stuck. So Dad made me cancel it and use an AOL disk he'd found at work. Thus, the nightmare began.
Initially it was supposed to be a temporary measure until we found something better. However, "something better" didn't really present itself in a neat package so that was kinda put off...
The subject of getting cable was brought up and dismissed several times; due to an accounting error, we were getting *free* cable television--they just stopped billing us and we didn't complain. However, the free lunch was cancelled when they actually checked out the neighborhood cable box a few weeks ago. We agreed to sign up for Roadrunner--they let us keep the TV and sent a guy out to install it.
And once it was all set up and working, I called to cancel AOL.
Now, two years ago when I had to cancel Earthlink, the fellow was sad to lose our business, asked why, and left it at that.
However, the AOL representative that I dealt with was like an Evil Reverse Telemarketer. When I requested that my account be cancelled, saying that the parents would be paying for internet access now, she tried to sell me AOL High Speed or somesuch crap. I said no, because I didn't want to pay for it, and if she sold it to ME, I'd be associated with it and thus have to pay for it. Why do that if the parents would be footing the bill?
She tried offering me two free months of the upgraded service. And after those two free months, I would call to cancel, or they'd just bill my card. At this point I was wondering if she had selective hearing, because she just kept PUSHING THE STUPID SERVICE ON ME. I kept saying "No thank you," "No, thank you." And "No, I don't want AOL anymore. I've taken it off my machine and I don't want to hear from you again."
FINALLY she got the hint and put me on hold for about ten minutes. I didn't KNOW I was on hold, however--I thought she was tapping at her keyboard or something. After about six minutes or so I asked if anyone was there... no response. I figured I was on hold, or I'd have gotten the dial tone. I was seriously tempted to hang up, but knew that'd probably just mean I'd have to start over.
After what seemed an hour, she was back and gave me my account closing confirmation number.
I shoulda just used one of my joke excuses, like "I've joined a religion that dictates that the Internet is the Devil. They'll be performing routine sweeps of the commune and if we're caught with an ISP, they will scourge us." XD
We had AOL years ago when our original ISP was consumed by them. I hated it. But eventually we were able to get a different ISP, and when that one also sold out, I decided to pay for the internet access. Two years of Earthlink, which is *decent*, followed.
Then about two years ago, Dad did some upgrading and some deleting and screwed up Earthlink. And we couldn't fix it, and couldn't reinstall it, and basically were stuck. So Dad made me cancel it and use an AOL disk he'd found at work. Thus, the nightmare began.
Initially it was supposed to be a temporary measure until we found something better. However, "something better" didn't really present itself in a neat package so that was kinda put off...
The subject of getting cable was brought up and dismissed several times; due to an accounting error, we were getting *free* cable television--they just stopped billing us and we didn't complain. However, the free lunch was cancelled when they actually checked out the neighborhood cable box a few weeks ago. We agreed to sign up for Roadrunner--they let us keep the TV and sent a guy out to install it.
And once it was all set up and working, I called to cancel AOL.
Now, two years ago when I had to cancel Earthlink, the fellow was sad to lose our business, asked why, and left it at that.
However, the AOL representative that I dealt with was like an Evil Reverse Telemarketer. When I requested that my account be cancelled, saying that the parents would be paying for internet access now, she tried to sell me AOL High Speed or somesuch crap. I said no, because I didn't want to pay for it, and if she sold it to ME, I'd be associated with it and thus have to pay for it. Why do that if the parents would be footing the bill?
She tried offering me two free months of the upgraded service. And after those two free months, I would call to cancel, or they'd just bill my card. At this point I was wondering if she had selective hearing, because she just kept PUSHING THE STUPID SERVICE ON ME. I kept saying "No thank you," "No, thank you." And "No, I don't want AOL anymore. I've taken it off my machine and I don't want to hear from you again."
FINALLY she got the hint and put me on hold for about ten minutes. I didn't KNOW I was on hold, however--I thought she was tapping at her keyboard or something. After about six minutes or so I asked if anyone was there... no response. I figured I was on hold, or I'd have gotten the dial tone. I was seriously tempted to hang up, but knew that'd probably just mean I'd have to start over.
After what seemed an hour, she was back and gave me my account closing confirmation number.
I shoulda just used one of my joke excuses, like "I've joined a religion that dictates that the Internet is the Devil. They'll be performing routine sweeps of the commune and if we're caught with an ISP, they will scourge us." XD