What the hell is my life?
I'm only registered for one 3-hour class right now, Russian 2001. With all of the additional fees UGA heaps on, I owe $8658.00. Due August 5.
One. Class. I had FOUR last semester and it was $13k. The tuition increase and the additional fees that just went into effect are... death knells. I knew it wouldn't be pretty but that's just...
That would be paying $8658--borrowing $8658--to keep my current jobs and STILL have to start repayment on student loans, since that's below part-time. Quick calculations suggest that six hours, bare minimum to put off loans any more, would be $16,221.00. Full-time? $31,347.
Where the fuck am I?! A private school in California or New England?!
I realize this goes against every tenant of my faith, but that is just not happening.
I'm just... stunned.
I looked into changing residency. That wouldn't go into effect until spring, anyway, and some of the language on the forms suggests that they wouldn't consider student work to be legitimate work at all. It wouldn't count toward my claim, and I don't have a car of which to change the registration.
And I can't even access FAFSA to see what meager and laughable offerings they'd give me, between changed deadlines and them not accepting the newest browsers that have come out this summer. There are a lot of students here eligible for grants, but very few get them. The money the school is given to allocate isn't enough to cover every student under a grant or given work-study. Just a lucky few.
I don't know what to do.
I'm finding pennies everywhere. I'm not worried, not at all. It's interesting that some of the pennies I find are so mutilated from trucks and pavement that they're hardly recognizable as legal tender. I just... don't know where to go from here. I just resigned my lease. I told my bosses that I intended to stick around as long as possible, and they understood that. It's so tempting to run away to Los Angeles. Despite having a place to go, and something to do that would be a lot of fun, and all of the justifications in the world of seeing family, in the end it would still be running away.
The closer I get to what I want to do, the further I get. I can't even see anymore. And hilariously, I have so many options that it's only making it harder to see straight.
Dogwalk in California.
Back to Florida.
Crazy federal job applying and wishing for a miracle.
Military.
Beg bosses here to switch me from student worker to full time.
Beg former profs for a job in DC.
Drop UGA entirely and go nuts trying for a job in Athens.
Say fuck it, move somewhere new and fun, and start over entirely.
Part of me feels like a disappointment, like I should have been able to breeze through this and swing a second degree with perfect hair and a smile like every fucking other college student. What? Of course I'm going to graduate! And I'll just pick up a few more loans and get Daddy to sign for them and do like three internships and get loans to pay for those too and I'll get a cool job right out of college and then I'll marry my boyfriend and we'll get a fluffy puppy! Hair flip!
Shoot, half of my family has conned themselves into thinking that I'm in grad school. And I... just don't care what this looks like, or what they think. I just want to get out of this alive. Whatever. My life will be awesome no matter what happens, because that's how I roll. Hello, I crashed a bachelor party last week.
But seriously, why the fuck can't my life go in a nice straight line and according to ANY semblance of a plan that is--GOD, STOP LAUGHING AT ME.
...Because I randomly crash bachelor parties, probably.
I'm caught in a hurricane
I'm leaving here dead or alive
And I know I'd be willing to feel the pain
If it got me to the other side
Good grief. At least I'm resigned and exasperated more than panicking and anxious. That's a nice change. Stress in general is still there; I shall eat my feelings again tonight and feel guilty and fat because I read an old book from my childhood (published in '96, yo) instead of going on my walk/run.
Yesterday I spun up some fun research on the stolen Romanian warheads in my spare time. Today, shaking my head as I close my student account windows, I remember the CIA recruiters talking about how they want people from odd and different walks of life because they think differently than the straight-out-of-college cookiecutters. What about celebrity dogwalkers? Does that count?
can't wait to see my mom next week.
One. Class. I had FOUR last semester and it was $13k. The tuition increase and the additional fees that just went into effect are... death knells. I knew it wouldn't be pretty but that's just...
That would be paying $8658--borrowing $8658--to keep my current jobs and STILL have to start repayment on student loans, since that's below part-time. Quick calculations suggest that six hours, bare minimum to put off loans any more, would be $16,221.00. Full-time? $31,347.
Where the fuck am I?! A private school in California or New England?!
I realize this goes against every tenant of my faith, but that is just not happening.
I'm just... stunned.
I looked into changing residency. That wouldn't go into effect until spring, anyway, and some of the language on the forms suggests that they wouldn't consider student work to be legitimate work at all. It wouldn't count toward my claim, and I don't have a car of which to change the registration.
And I can't even access FAFSA to see what meager and laughable offerings they'd give me, between changed deadlines and them not accepting the newest browsers that have come out this summer. There are a lot of students here eligible for grants, but very few get them. The money the school is given to allocate isn't enough to cover every student under a grant or given work-study. Just a lucky few.
I don't know what to do.
I'm finding pennies everywhere. I'm not worried, not at all. It's interesting that some of the pennies I find are so mutilated from trucks and pavement that they're hardly recognizable as legal tender. I just... don't know where to go from here. I just resigned my lease. I told my bosses that I intended to stick around as long as possible, and they understood that. It's so tempting to run away to Los Angeles. Despite having a place to go, and something to do that would be a lot of fun, and all of the justifications in the world of seeing family, in the end it would still be running away.
The closer I get to what I want to do, the further I get. I can't even see anymore. And hilariously, I have so many options that it's only making it harder to see straight.
Dogwalk in California.
Back to Florida.
Crazy federal job applying and wishing for a miracle.
Military.
Beg bosses here to switch me from student worker to full time.
Beg former profs for a job in DC.
Drop UGA entirely and go nuts trying for a job in Athens.
Say fuck it, move somewhere new and fun, and start over entirely.
Part of me feels like a disappointment, like I should have been able to breeze through this and swing a second degree with perfect hair and a smile like every fucking other college student. What? Of course I'm going to graduate! And I'll just pick up a few more loans and get Daddy to sign for them and do like three internships and get loans to pay for those too and I'll get a cool job right out of college and then I'll marry my boyfriend and we'll get a fluffy puppy! Hair flip!
Shoot, half of my family has conned themselves into thinking that I'm in grad school. And I... just don't care what this looks like, or what they think. I just want to get out of this alive. Whatever. My life will be awesome no matter what happens, because that's how I roll. Hello, I crashed a bachelor party last week.
But seriously, why the fuck can't my life go in a nice straight line and according to ANY semblance of a plan that is--GOD, STOP LAUGHING AT ME.
...Because I randomly crash bachelor parties, probably.
I'm caught in a hurricane
I'm leaving here dead or alive
And I know I'd be willing to feel the pain
If it got me to the other side
Good grief. At least I'm resigned and exasperated more than panicking and anxious. That's a nice change. Stress in general is still there; I shall eat my feelings again tonight and feel guilty and fat because I read an old book from my childhood (published in '96, yo) instead of going on my walk/run.
Yesterday I spun up some fun research on the stolen Romanian warheads in my spare time. Today, shaking my head as I close my student account windows, I remember the CIA recruiters talking about how they want people from odd and different walks of life because they think differently than the straight-out-of-college cookiecutters. What about celebrity dogwalkers? Does that count?
can't wait to see my mom next week.