(no subject)
EDIT:
I hate apologizing when someone assumes something wrong.
So i won't.
I hate when people think they sound sophisticated and philosophical. Like they're unique or better than other people. Romanticizing you're life is pathetic. If you don't have the balls to deal with your reality don't expect other people to.
Change isn't always bad. (Certain) people leaving or (certain) people we leave behind is a giant plus. I moved. I no longer live in the house where people can just barge in whenever they damn well feel like it (via frontdoor or window). If I want you to know where I moved to, you'll know soon. Sometimes it surprises me who I don't mind never seeing again. If you would've asked me two-three years ago, I would've laughed at you and said "We'll keep in touch forever." Things change. It's frustrating things don't turn out the way I think, but I realize that it's for the best: there are definitely some people I'm better off without.
I'm the last one left. All my friends have graduated already. I'm sitting here rushing to finish a physics project (and procrastinating) due on monday while everyone else is enjoying an awesome dinner in malibu. It's okay. I'll get my chance soon.
Thursday was puppy's graduation. After school I went to his house, and he was asleep so his mom and I went to buy some last minute good stuff. I bought him a lei (I think that's how it's spelled) and a teddybear with a balloon and some candy. I bought him another present but I think my mom found it d that's why she's mad at me...whooops! Went back to his house and cuddled a little bit before we had to go pick up my brother. Took a nap then Shorty and her husband came over and we all had graduation dinner. Matt left early, because he had to get to his school an hour before the rest of us. I had fun drinking with the big kids. Finally got to MCP and found all my buddies. I met matt levy's brothers, dad, and his real mom. I found Jill and Janet. There were some complications involving Jill and Bij but it was all cleared up at the end. I sat with Janet, her mom, and Glick's family during the graduation ceremony. I couldn't find Matt's family anywhere. I had a lot of fun yelling my ass off with Janet. It was about 2 freaking hours long. Afterwards I changed clothes and got on the bus to Grad Nite at Disney. So much fun. Clark and Damon's schools graduated that day too so they met up with us. A lot of the better rides broke down but I had fun running around with my friends till it was bright outside. We ran around the parkinglot for WAY TOO long looking for our bus which we thought was white (it ended up being green). We though we were going to be late but we were the first ones there. Fell asleep on matt. Got back to school after 8am. Went to Matt's and passed out. Woke up again around 3 and did some errands. Rented Spy Kids 2 for my physics project. Went home and passed out again...sooo tired.
I can't believe high school is pretty much over. It's over. We're moving on. There are definitely certain people I would've sworn Freshman year I was going to stay close with forever who I'm not. In the middle of my unpacking I found a letter Veronica wrote me I think for my birthday sophomore year, because she talks about me and frank being together and how she wanted me to be the bridesmaid at her wedding and vice versa. It made me sad. Things definitely change. I also found Ari's letters and Frank's. Frank. I never would've thought we'd end the way we did. Or that we'd end period. I can't believe how naive I was. I actuall y thought we'd be together for a long time. It still hurts me that you kissed Veronica. I know your sorry and I'm sorry for everything also. It scares me how much a boyfriend can make me so vulnerable. Starting with Matt freshman year, we weren't even that serious but I was sooo devastated when you dumped me. I guess I didn't actually thing we'd end. I mean I guess subconsciously I admitted that I knew we couldn't last. We were 14 for god's sake. We barely knew how to treat ourselves much less each other. I was single again and promised myself I wouldn't be so naive next time. I was wrong again. Anthony happened. Wow as much as I say "im not going to think we'll last forever with the next boyfriend" it happens every time. After Anthony was Frank and the same exact thing happened again, except this time it was more serious. The break up was horrible. Now I'm with Matt again. And i have that feeling again. The feeling that Im being naive. But it's lasted 2 years...I hope I won't get hurt again...Actually I think the naive feel is a good thing. I can just imagine how nerveracking a relationship would be if I knew from the beginning that we'd end up breaking up. I guess the fun part about a relationship is the possibility that he just might be the one. and damnit do I wish he's the one.
okay...i think i should do my project now
..... i love lamp.
So i won't.
I hate when people think they sound sophisticated and philosophical. Like they're unique or better than other people. Romanticizing you're life is pathetic. If you don't have the balls to deal with your reality don't expect other people to.
Change isn't always bad. (Certain) people leaving or (certain) people we leave behind is a giant plus. I moved. I no longer live in the house where people can just barge in whenever they damn well feel like it (via frontdoor or window). If I want you to know where I moved to, you'll know soon. Sometimes it surprises me who I don't mind never seeing again. If you would've asked me two-three years ago, I would've laughed at you and said "We'll keep in touch forever." Things change. It's frustrating things don't turn out the way I think, but I realize that it's for the best: there are definitely some people I'm better off without.
I'm the last one left. All my friends have graduated already. I'm sitting here rushing to finish a physics project (and procrastinating) due on monday while everyone else is enjoying an awesome dinner in malibu. It's okay. I'll get my chance soon.
Thursday was puppy's graduation. After school I went to his house, and he was asleep so his mom and I went to buy some last minute good stuff. I bought him a lei (I think that's how it's spelled) and a teddybear with a balloon and some candy. I bought him another present but I think my mom found it d that's why she's mad at me...whooops! Went back to his house and cuddled a little bit before we had to go pick up my brother. Took a nap then Shorty and her husband came over and we all had graduation dinner. Matt left early, because he had to get to his school an hour before the rest of us. I had fun drinking with the big kids. Finally got to MCP and found all my buddies. I met matt levy's brothers, dad, and his real mom. I found Jill and Janet. There were some complications involving Jill and Bij but it was all cleared up at the end. I sat with Janet, her mom, and Glick's family during the graduation ceremony. I couldn't find Matt's family anywhere. I had a lot of fun yelling my ass off with Janet. It was about 2 freaking hours long. Afterwards I changed clothes and got on the bus to Grad Nite at Disney. So much fun. Clark and Damon's schools graduated that day too so they met up with us. A lot of the better rides broke down but I had fun running around with my friends till it was bright outside. We ran around the parkinglot for WAY TOO long looking for our bus which we thought was white (it ended up being green). We though we were going to be late but we were the first ones there. Fell asleep on matt. Got back to school after 8am. Went to Matt's and passed out. Woke up again around 3 and did some errands. Rented Spy Kids 2 for my physics project. Went home and passed out again...sooo tired.
I can't believe high school is pretty much over. It's over. We're moving on. There are definitely certain people I would've sworn Freshman year I was going to stay close with forever who I'm not. In the middle of my unpacking I found a letter Veronica wrote me I think for my birthday sophomore year, because she talks about me and frank being together and how she wanted me to be the bridesmaid at her wedding and vice versa. It made me sad. Things definitely change. I also found Ari's letters and Frank's. Frank. I never would've thought we'd end the way we did. Or that we'd end period. I can't believe how naive I was. I actuall y thought we'd be together for a long time. It still hurts me that you kissed Veronica. I know your sorry and I'm sorry for everything also. It scares me how much a boyfriend can make me so vulnerable. Starting with Matt freshman year, we weren't even that serious but I was sooo devastated when you dumped me. I guess I didn't actually thing we'd end. I mean I guess subconsciously I admitted that I knew we couldn't last. We were 14 for god's sake. We barely knew how to treat ourselves much less each other. I was single again and promised myself I wouldn't be so naive next time. I was wrong again. Anthony happened. Wow as much as I say "im not going to think we'll last forever with the next boyfriend" it happens every time. After Anthony was Frank and the same exact thing happened again, except this time it was more serious. The break up was horrible. Now I'm with Matt again. And i have that feeling again. The feeling that Im being naive. But it's lasted 2 years...I hope I won't get hurt again...Actually I think the naive feel is a good thing. I can just imagine how nerveracking a relationship would be if I knew from the beginning that we'd end up breaking up. I guess the fun part about a relationship is the possibility that he just might be the one. and damnit do I wish he's the one.
okay...i think i should do my project now
..... i love lamp.