Then I turned around and I saw God standin' in the unemployment line
I've been awake since about 5:30, mostly because I went to be early. Now its 8 am and I want to go back to sleep to avoid the panic. I have to return a movie, mail a check, I should go to the gym to help release some of the anxiety, these are my only obligations for today, and all of these tasks feel a bit daunting, but I will do some bargaining with myself and make it happen.
Mostly I'm doing okay, but then I check my e-mail and there's a news headline about the record number of people filing for unemployment and I think, hey, that was me yesterday! And I read it and I feel a little bit like vomiting. Yesterday I was angry about it, angry at the law firm for throwing me to the metaphoric wolves of this economy so that they could save themselves, and when I think about the possibility of them ever calling me up and seeing if I want to return, I want to tell them very badly to go fck themselves because they sold me off before, why wouldn't they do it again? I know its not really that personal, and I've never really been one to buy into the whole job/corporation-is-your-family even remotely, but it is a little bit like when you breakup with someone and in the initial conversation you say "maybe someday in the future we can be together again" and a week later you're like, wtf? No way am I ever getting in bed with that person again.
Yesterday morning I ventured to the unemployment office. It took about two hours total, which was on the low end of what I was expecting. There are ways to file online, but not if you use a mac and even if you do file online, you have to go in person anyway to receive a speech and have your identity verified and sometimes they don't even have a record of you filing online so you have to do the paperwork again in person, so really, just go in person. There's a secret office on Diversey near Cicero that is less busy, and it was also mentioned that Thursday after 2 pm was a really good time to show up. It is a depressing place, though there was something powerful about sitting in it all together, and not powerful bad, which I feared, but more like a silent camaraderie. The gentleman who gave our group the speech and conducted my 'interview' reminded me of my dad, and of my dad's friends, he had a southern accent and told us to get the kids to help us print from the internet. He also whispered to me illegal tips about freelance income and shook my hand when I left. It made me feel hopeful. So my brain memory tells me. Right now I just feel sleepy.
Mostly I'm doing okay, but then I check my e-mail and there's a news headline about the record number of people filing for unemployment and I think, hey, that was me yesterday! And I read it and I feel a little bit like vomiting. Yesterday I was angry about it, angry at the law firm for throwing me to the metaphoric wolves of this economy so that they could save themselves, and when I think about the possibility of them ever calling me up and seeing if I want to return, I want to tell them very badly to go fck themselves because they sold me off before, why wouldn't they do it again? I know its not really that personal, and I've never really been one to buy into the whole job/corporation-is-your-family even remotely, but it is a little bit like when you breakup with someone and in the initial conversation you say "maybe someday in the future we can be together again" and a week later you're like, wtf? No way am I ever getting in bed with that person again.
Yesterday morning I ventured to the unemployment office. It took about two hours total, which was on the low end of what I was expecting. There are ways to file online, but not if you use a mac and even if you do file online, you have to go in person anyway to receive a speech and have your identity verified and sometimes they don't even have a record of you filing online so you have to do the paperwork again in person, so really, just go in person. There's a secret office on Diversey near Cicero that is less busy, and it was also mentioned that Thursday after 2 pm was a really good time to show up. It is a depressing place, though there was something powerful about sitting in it all together, and not powerful bad, which I feared, but more like a silent camaraderie. The gentleman who gave our group the speech and conducted my 'interview' reminded me of my dad, and of my dad's friends, he had a southern accent and told us to get the kids to help us print from the internet. He also whispered to me illegal tips about freelance income and shook my hand when I left. It made me feel hopeful. So my brain memory tells me. Right now I just feel sleepy.