(no subject)
Title: As Circumstances May Require
Author: Raya
Theme: ChibiUsa / Ettiquite
Genre: General / Humor
Version: Manga (Way, way, way Post Series)
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1,920
Disclaimer: Nadeshiko (ChibiUsa), Starflower (Usagi/ChibiChibi), Yuri (Rei), Hasuko (Ami), Luna, Artemis, Diana, Phobos, Deimos, and Barako (Minako) were all created by Takeuchi Naoko. I have only given them new names and ages and have tortured them by making them listen to filk for inspiration. Never Set the Cat on Fire is a song by Frank Hayes who, I believe, gets all of the credit.
Canon, spelling, grammar, and punctuation corrections are appreciated. So is constructive criticism and general comments. Please let me know if you see something that you like or that should be corrected. Thanks! - Raya
As Circumstances May Require
Continued from And So We Begin (Again)
Never set the cat on fire,
You only will annoy it.
The heat will make the beast perspire;
She surely won’t enjoy it.
Likewise do not ignite the dog,
The snake, the gerbil, or the frog.
No, never set the cat on fire.
And mind your manners
As circumstances may require,
And never set the cat on fire. -- Never Set the Cat on Fire by Frank Hayes
In a future far distant and a galaxy far, far away
“Get back here you little brats!”
Dark pink eyes met azure blue, and then the two ten year old girls skidded around the next corner on one foot. The one with cotton candy pink pigtails moved her arms desperately, trying to juggle the shifting load of candles that she carried. In spite of her best efforts, one of the candles fell off the top of her pile and dropped to the floor.
Before she could complain or slow to retrieve it, the one with dark rose pigtails pushed her towards a nearby door. It slid open, and they quickly ducked into the room it revealed. As it slid shut, the middle aged man that was chasing them ran past it and then slowed to a stop. The girls crouched beside the wall, trying desperately to muffle their panting breaths.
“Come on out,” they heard the man say coolly as he looked around the hallway and listened for the pounding of little feet. “I know you’re here somewhere… You know you can’t burn those things in the civilian quarters… You’ll use up precious oxygen and overload the life support system…”
“Haha, got you!” he exclaimed, and they froze in fright. “Oh gi-irls… You dropped one,” he called in a sing song voice. The two little thieves listened to his clanging footsteps as he walked away.
They had just relaxed with a simultaneous sigh of relief when they heard another man’s voice. “Evening.” They froze again, their hearts racing madly.
“Good evening, Doctor. You haven’t seen two little civilian girls sneaking through here have you?” The first man’s voice grew a little louder as if he were drawing closer again.
“Civilians? Here? No, this is a restricted area.” The second man sounded curious. “Why?” A short sequence of beeps followed by a long one indicated that a door was being locked somewhere close by.
“Two little brats apparently decided to break into the flammable stores and steal some lights,” the first man said, his voice fading as he and the other gentleman walked away once more. “They were running this way…”
The rose haired girl sighed and sagged in relief as the voices finally faded away completely. She carefully settled her load of oil lamps and light sticks on the floor, and then rubbed her arms. “Hey, Nade-chan, are you okay?”
“Mmm…” Nadeshiko hummed as she lowered her load of candles and boxes. “Yuri-chan better appreciate this,” she grumbled as she rubbed at the ridges in her arms.
“She needs something new to practice on,” Starflower said defensively. “She can’t keep lighting cloth forever. People will start asking questions. And plastic just smolders.”
“I know, I know,” Nadeshiko sighed. “But she has the worst skills. Even Hasuko-chan’s pure water isn’t so hard to get.” Her dark pink eyes flitted around the room, and she sat up curiously. “Hey, onee-chan, what is this place?”
The two girls stood up and looked around in wonder. Computerized work stations lined three of the four walls, and in the middle of the room stood four long tables. The three outside walls were lined with dark, hexagonal plaques, each with a small white rectangle under them like a label. Curious, they walked around.
“Hey, this looks like that elephant picture in the picturegrams,” Nadeshiko said excitedly as she pointed at a label.
“And this one looks like a cat,” her older twin replied as she pointed at another label. “I wonder what that funny looking symbol beside it is, though. It almost looks like a rose, but it has a crescent in it.”
“Don’t touch it,” Nadeshiko said with a frown. “If that’s a crescent moon, it could be bad.”
“Oh, don’t be a worry-wart,” her sister said with an exasperated look over her shoulder. She threw her hands in the air and let them fall back to her side. “I know better!” As her right hand was falling, however, it accidentally hit the workstation in front of her. A loud beep made her jump, and she spun around to look over at it. “Uh-oh…”
“Uh-oh?” the younger twin asked nervously as she shifted closer to look. “Uh-oh, what?”
“I think I did something,” Starflower replied as she peered at the flashing light that had appeared on the screen. As they watched, a series of kanji, kana, and letters began to scroll across the screen. “Something wakeup something is starting…” The two girls looked at each other with wide eyes. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Do something!” Nadeshiko said urgently as she began to look around the panel. “Hit the off button!”
“But where is it?” her older sister asked frantically as she began to push at the buttons on the workstation touchpad.
“How should I know?” the younger girl replied just as frantically as she, too, began to push at the touchpads. Before long, a stream of smoke began to emit from the workstation and an alarm began to go off. “Oh no!” they whined in unison.
Suddenly, the hexagonal panels above the workstation began to glow orange. The twins cringed away and then fell as the computer began to spark and short. They stared at the computer and hexagons in front of them, and then at each other. When the workstation gave a loud pop, they screeched and huddled together, their faces buried in each others shoulder. They were going to get it for sure.
“Ye-ow!!” a voice yelled. “What in Serenity’s name…?”
The girls shrank closer together as they heard several different coughs, cries of pain, and a stream of complaints. “Help!” a tiny voice cried. “Help me! My feet are going to burn off!” Nadeshiko opened one dark pink eye cautiously and looked towards the sound, her soft heart getting the better of her.
“Your feet? What about me? I have no feet!” another voice said irritably. "My whole underssside isss burning!" Starflower opened one azure eye curiously, wondering what sort of creature would not have any feet.
“Yeah, well you can just slither out of here,” the first voice squeaked, “but me! I can’t even jump. It’s too high. Help! Eeek!!”
The twins watched as a small white cat jumped from one of the hexagonal panels to the workstation, and then to the floor. It bent its head down and dropped a small rodent-like creature to the floor. “Oh, calm down,” another voice said impatiently. “You know Artemis would never hurt you.” The gerbil did not reply. It just sat on the floor and shook with fright.
The girls looked towards the voice, and then stared. The only thing there was a small black cat. In fact, they were the only two humans in the room. So, who was speaking?
“Ahem,” the black cat coughed into one paw. The twins jumped, and then scrambled away from it. “Was that really necessary?” the cat asked irritably as it flicked its tail from side to side. “I distinctly remember being told that the reanimation process would be much more pleasant.”
“Umm… Sorry?” the rose haired twin offered tentatively.
“And so you should be,” the cat huffed.
“Eeek!” Nadeshiko suddenly screeched, pointing at the cat in horror. “Eeeee!”
“What? What?” the cat asked, leaping to its feet and spinning around to look behind it. “What is wrong?”
“Crescent moon!” the pink haired girl babbled as she scrambled backwards across the room, putting as much space between herself and the cat as possible. Her twin’s eyes widened and she scrambled backwards as well.
“Crescent moon?” the cat asked shaking its dark head in puzzlement. “What about a crescent moon?”
“Lady-sama!” another voice cried happily. Nadeshiko froze in terror as a small grey cat with a crescent moon on its forehead leapt onto her chest and began to nuzzle her face happily. “You are Lady-sama, aren’t you? You have light pink hair and dark pink eyes. You must be! I have been dying to meet you,” the creature purred.
“Lady-sama? Where? Where?” a large golden dog asked, its tail wagging frantically as it looked around the room. “If Lady-sama is here, then Lord-sama is here as well!”
“Diana!” the black cat called sounding somewhat horrified. “Where are your manners!”
“Sorry, Mother,” the grey cat said penitently. Reluctantly, she pulled away from Nadeshiko’s face, jumped down, and walked over to sit by the black cat. She ducked away as her mother swatted her gently on the head.
“Perhaps we should start at the beginning,” the white cat who had rescued the gerbil said calmly as it sat down on the other side of Diana. It stared at the two wide-eyed girls, and then sighed and hung its head. “If we can,” he muttered.
“How do you do,” the black cat said primly as she wrapped her tail around her front paws. “My name is Luna. It is nice to meet you.” She bowed politely to the twins, who just stared at her speechlessly.
After a moment of silence, Diana bowed politely towards the humans as well. “How do you do, my name is Diana. It is nice to meet you.”
“And I am Artemis,” the white cat said, not waiting for the girls to respond. “Nice to meet you.”
“I am Apolloniusss,” another voice hissed. The girls watched as a small snake slid into place beside Artemis. “Pleasssed to make your acquaintanssse,” it added as it raised its head and then bowed to them. This time, the girls bobbed their heads back.
“I am Kin,” the golden dog said as it sat behind the cats. “Nice to meet you, too. Do you know Lord-san?”
“Lord… san…?” Nadeshiko said weakly as Luna turned around and scolded Kin. “Sorry… No.” He just huffed unhappily in response.
“I am Kin’s brother, Kuro,” a black dog said as it sat down beside the golden one. It bowed its head politely. “It is an honor to meet you.” Kin huffed again, this time in amusement as the twins slowly straightened up and bobbed their heads in response.
“We are Phobos and Deimos,” a pair of high pitched voices said from the girls’ left. When they looked, they saw a pair of large black birds sitting on a nearby workstation. The birds bobbed at them. “It is a pleasure to meet you.” The girls bobbed their own heads in return.
“Jove here,” a large green frog croaked from by their feet. “An honor.” They nodded to it.
“And I am Tara,” the gerbil squeaked as it bobbed up and down. “So nice to meet you.”
The girls bobbed their heads towards the gerbil, and then looked around with wide, blank eyes. When no other creatures spoke up, the rose haired girl blinked and then slowly climbed to her feet. “How do you do,” she said as Nadeshiko looked up at her in surprise. “My name is Usano Starflower of the Juuban ward of the refugee ship Crystokyo, and this is my twin sister, Usano Nadeshiko.” She bowed politely towards the strange creatures in front of her. “It is a pleasure to meet you all.”
‘It’s just a weird dream,’ Nadeshiko decided as she, too, climbed to her feet, bowed, and introduced herself. ‘That’s what it is. Animals can’t talk! Bara-chan’s scream will wake me up in a minute, and onee-chan will step on me like usual, and we will all race around frantically trying to get ready for lessons and be just barely on time as always… It can’t hurt to be polite to figments of my imagination for a few minutes longer, especially when three of them have crescent moon marks on their foreheads.’
Author: Raya
Theme: ChibiUsa / Ettiquite
Genre: General / Humor
Version: Manga (Way, way, way Post Series)
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1,920
Disclaimer: Nadeshiko (ChibiUsa), Starflower (Usagi/ChibiChibi), Yuri (Rei), Hasuko (Ami), Luna, Artemis, Diana, Phobos, Deimos, and Barako (Minako) were all created by Takeuchi Naoko. I have only given them new names and ages and have tortured them by making them listen to filk for inspiration. Never Set the Cat on Fire is a song by Frank Hayes who, I believe, gets all of the credit.
Canon, spelling, grammar, and punctuation corrections are appreciated. So is constructive criticism and general comments. Please let me know if you see something that you like or that should be corrected. Thanks! - Raya
As Circumstances May Require
Continued from And So We Begin (Again)
Never set the cat on fire,
You only will annoy it.
The heat will make the beast perspire;
She surely won’t enjoy it.
Likewise do not ignite the dog,
The snake, the gerbil, or the frog.
No, never set the cat on fire.
And mind your manners
As circumstances may require,
And never set the cat on fire. -- Never Set the Cat on Fire by Frank Hayes
In a future far distant and a galaxy far, far away
“Get back here you little brats!”
Dark pink eyes met azure blue, and then the two ten year old girls skidded around the next corner on one foot. The one with cotton candy pink pigtails moved her arms desperately, trying to juggle the shifting load of candles that she carried. In spite of her best efforts, one of the candles fell off the top of her pile and dropped to the floor.
Before she could complain or slow to retrieve it, the one with dark rose pigtails pushed her towards a nearby door. It slid open, and they quickly ducked into the room it revealed. As it slid shut, the middle aged man that was chasing them ran past it and then slowed to a stop. The girls crouched beside the wall, trying desperately to muffle their panting breaths.
“Come on out,” they heard the man say coolly as he looked around the hallway and listened for the pounding of little feet. “I know you’re here somewhere… You know you can’t burn those things in the civilian quarters… You’ll use up precious oxygen and overload the life support system…”
“Haha, got you!” he exclaimed, and they froze in fright. “Oh gi-irls… You dropped one,” he called in a sing song voice. The two little thieves listened to his clanging footsteps as he walked away.
They had just relaxed with a simultaneous sigh of relief when they heard another man’s voice. “Evening.” They froze again, their hearts racing madly.
“Good evening, Doctor. You haven’t seen two little civilian girls sneaking through here have you?” The first man’s voice grew a little louder as if he were drawing closer again.
“Civilians? Here? No, this is a restricted area.” The second man sounded curious. “Why?” A short sequence of beeps followed by a long one indicated that a door was being locked somewhere close by.
“Two little brats apparently decided to break into the flammable stores and steal some lights,” the first man said, his voice fading as he and the other gentleman walked away once more. “They were running this way…”
The rose haired girl sighed and sagged in relief as the voices finally faded away completely. She carefully settled her load of oil lamps and light sticks on the floor, and then rubbed her arms. “Hey, Nade-chan, are you okay?”
“Mmm…” Nadeshiko hummed as she lowered her load of candles and boxes. “Yuri-chan better appreciate this,” she grumbled as she rubbed at the ridges in her arms.
“She needs something new to practice on,” Starflower said defensively. “She can’t keep lighting cloth forever. People will start asking questions. And plastic just smolders.”
“I know, I know,” Nadeshiko sighed. “But she has the worst skills. Even Hasuko-chan’s pure water isn’t so hard to get.” Her dark pink eyes flitted around the room, and she sat up curiously. “Hey, onee-chan, what is this place?”
The two girls stood up and looked around in wonder. Computerized work stations lined three of the four walls, and in the middle of the room stood four long tables. The three outside walls were lined with dark, hexagonal plaques, each with a small white rectangle under them like a label. Curious, they walked around.
“Hey, this looks like that elephant picture in the picturegrams,” Nadeshiko said excitedly as she pointed at a label.
“And this one looks like a cat,” her older twin replied as she pointed at another label. “I wonder what that funny looking symbol beside it is, though. It almost looks like a rose, but it has a crescent in it.”
“Don’t touch it,” Nadeshiko said with a frown. “If that’s a crescent moon, it could be bad.”
“Oh, don’t be a worry-wart,” her sister said with an exasperated look over her shoulder. She threw her hands in the air and let them fall back to her side. “I know better!” As her right hand was falling, however, it accidentally hit the workstation in front of her. A loud beep made her jump, and she spun around to look over at it. “Uh-oh…”
“Uh-oh?” the younger twin asked nervously as she shifted closer to look. “Uh-oh, what?”
“I think I did something,” Starflower replied as she peered at the flashing light that had appeared on the screen. As they watched, a series of kanji, kana, and letters began to scroll across the screen. “Something wakeup something is starting…” The two girls looked at each other with wide eyes. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“Do something!” Nadeshiko said urgently as she began to look around the panel. “Hit the off button!”
“But where is it?” her older sister asked frantically as she began to push at the buttons on the workstation touchpad.
“How should I know?” the younger girl replied just as frantically as she, too, began to push at the touchpads. Before long, a stream of smoke began to emit from the workstation and an alarm began to go off. “Oh no!” they whined in unison.
Suddenly, the hexagonal panels above the workstation began to glow orange. The twins cringed away and then fell as the computer began to spark and short. They stared at the computer and hexagons in front of them, and then at each other. When the workstation gave a loud pop, they screeched and huddled together, their faces buried in each others shoulder. They were going to get it for sure.
“Ye-ow!!” a voice yelled. “What in Serenity’s name…?”
The girls shrank closer together as they heard several different coughs, cries of pain, and a stream of complaints. “Help!” a tiny voice cried. “Help me! My feet are going to burn off!” Nadeshiko opened one dark pink eye cautiously and looked towards the sound, her soft heart getting the better of her.
“Your feet? What about me? I have no feet!” another voice said irritably. "My whole underssside isss burning!" Starflower opened one azure eye curiously, wondering what sort of creature would not have any feet.
“Yeah, well you can just slither out of here,” the first voice squeaked, “but me! I can’t even jump. It’s too high. Help! Eeek!!”
The twins watched as a small white cat jumped from one of the hexagonal panels to the workstation, and then to the floor. It bent its head down and dropped a small rodent-like creature to the floor. “Oh, calm down,” another voice said impatiently. “You know Artemis would never hurt you.” The gerbil did not reply. It just sat on the floor and shook with fright.
The girls looked towards the voice, and then stared. The only thing there was a small black cat. In fact, they were the only two humans in the room. So, who was speaking?
“Ahem,” the black cat coughed into one paw. The twins jumped, and then scrambled away from it. “Was that really necessary?” the cat asked irritably as it flicked its tail from side to side. “I distinctly remember being told that the reanimation process would be much more pleasant.”
“Umm… Sorry?” the rose haired twin offered tentatively.
“And so you should be,” the cat huffed.
“Eeek!” Nadeshiko suddenly screeched, pointing at the cat in horror. “Eeeee!”
“What? What?” the cat asked, leaping to its feet and spinning around to look behind it. “What is wrong?”
“Crescent moon!” the pink haired girl babbled as she scrambled backwards across the room, putting as much space between herself and the cat as possible. Her twin’s eyes widened and she scrambled backwards as well.
“Crescent moon?” the cat asked shaking its dark head in puzzlement. “What about a crescent moon?”
“Lady-sama!” another voice cried happily. Nadeshiko froze in terror as a small grey cat with a crescent moon on its forehead leapt onto her chest and began to nuzzle her face happily. “You are Lady-sama, aren’t you? You have light pink hair and dark pink eyes. You must be! I have been dying to meet you,” the creature purred.
“Lady-sama? Where? Where?” a large golden dog asked, its tail wagging frantically as it looked around the room. “If Lady-sama is here, then Lord-sama is here as well!”
“Diana!” the black cat called sounding somewhat horrified. “Where are your manners!”
“Sorry, Mother,” the grey cat said penitently. Reluctantly, she pulled away from Nadeshiko’s face, jumped down, and walked over to sit by the black cat. She ducked away as her mother swatted her gently on the head.
“Perhaps we should start at the beginning,” the white cat who had rescued the gerbil said calmly as it sat down on the other side of Diana. It stared at the two wide-eyed girls, and then sighed and hung its head. “If we can,” he muttered.
“How do you do,” the black cat said primly as she wrapped her tail around her front paws. “My name is Luna. It is nice to meet you.” She bowed politely to the twins, who just stared at her speechlessly.
After a moment of silence, Diana bowed politely towards the humans as well. “How do you do, my name is Diana. It is nice to meet you.”
“And I am Artemis,” the white cat said, not waiting for the girls to respond. “Nice to meet you.”
“I am Apolloniusss,” another voice hissed. The girls watched as a small snake slid into place beside Artemis. “Pleasssed to make your acquaintanssse,” it added as it raised its head and then bowed to them. This time, the girls bobbed their heads back.
“I am Kin,” the golden dog said as it sat behind the cats. “Nice to meet you, too. Do you know Lord-san?”
“Lord… san…?” Nadeshiko said weakly as Luna turned around and scolded Kin. “Sorry… No.” He just huffed unhappily in response.
“I am Kin’s brother, Kuro,” a black dog said as it sat down beside the golden one. It bowed its head politely. “It is an honor to meet you.” Kin huffed again, this time in amusement as the twins slowly straightened up and bobbed their heads in response.
“We are Phobos and Deimos,” a pair of high pitched voices said from the girls’ left. When they looked, they saw a pair of large black birds sitting on a nearby workstation. The birds bobbed at them. “It is a pleasure to meet you.” The girls bobbed their own heads in return.
“Jove here,” a large green frog croaked from by their feet. “An honor.” They nodded to it.
“And I am Tara,” the gerbil squeaked as it bobbed up and down. “So nice to meet you.”
The girls bobbed their heads towards the gerbil, and then looked around with wide, blank eyes. When no other creatures spoke up, the rose haired girl blinked and then slowly climbed to her feet. “How do you do,” she said as Nadeshiko looked up at her in surprise. “My name is Usano Starflower of the Juuban ward of the refugee ship Crystokyo, and this is my twin sister, Usano Nadeshiko.” She bowed politely towards the strange creatures in front of her. “It is a pleasure to meet you all.”
‘It’s just a weird dream,’ Nadeshiko decided as she, too, climbed to her feet, bowed, and introduced herself. ‘That’s what it is. Animals can’t talk! Bara-chan’s scream will wake me up in a minute, and onee-chan will step on me like usual, and we will all race around frantically trying to get ready for lessons and be just barely on time as always… It can’t hurt to be polite to figments of my imagination for a few minutes longer, especially when three of them have crescent moon marks on their foreheads.’