Shrug
Just thought I'd enter a little post, seeing as I haven't in such a long time. I should be sleeping, being that it is almost five-thirty in the AM, but my insomnia won't allow it! So instead I'm just gonna toss out some of the things that have been going on in my life and ramble about the things that have been on my mind. Sorry this probably won't be at all entertaining, but I'm not even sure anyone reads these anyhow so fuck it!
Let's see, what's been going on in my life... I turned twenty-one this year. Not too exciting, but drinking out is nice and at least I'm not as depressed as I was last year when turned twenty *shudder*.
I finally decided what to go to school for, yay! I hope to become a paramedic. Probably I will just go get certified and start with volunteer work as an EMT basic, (which is the first of three levels of EMT, the last being Paramedic) and then go to community college and go deeper into it if I'm good at it. I hope to maybe end up as a full-on Paramedic and maybe even go into the Coast Guard or something like that.
Here's a big one, I FINALLY took my GED test. I've been putting that off for a long time sadly. Now I'm just waiting for the results... and waiting and waiting and waiting... While on that topic, I'd like to say that home schooling sucks ass. Seriously, it's so much like isolation from the outside world. I will never home school my children, if I ever have any that is.
I have a new baby niece, Joelle. She's a sweetie.
I have three dogs now. I can't remember if I mentioned that before. Cheyenne, Bo-bo and Caleb. All German Shepherds. Good puppies, but total pains in the ass.
Lately most of my time is spent watching TV, which depresses me a bit, but at least I do enjoy watching TV. I'm just tired of waiting on something else to happen.
What else?... Hmmm... Oh! I recently played paintball for the first time and decided I'm totally hooked! My new favorite sport.
That's pretty much all that's new in my life as far as the physical realm. As for my emotional/mental state... Here's the part where I ramble on about my feelings and the things that piss me off and whatnot.
I'm so tired of feeling alone, I have so many walls, I'm starting to feel very hollow. I'm so tired of feeling useless, I just want to do something good. I'm so tired of feeling afraid or self-conscious. I'm so tired of searching for peace and contentment and not finding it! I'm so tired of people calling me a coward. I'm even called a coward by my best friend these days. Okay, I am a bit of a coward in some ways, but it hurts to hear it all the time. I'm so tired of taking my whole family onto my shoulders, I am not the strong one, certainly out of my five siblings someone else should be better suited to take care of this family. I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut when something upsets me, just to avoid an argument or fight that is inevitable anyways. I used to speak my mind, why did that change?
Anyway, that's it for now.
Let's see, what's been going on in my life... I turned twenty-one this year. Not too exciting, but drinking out is nice and at least I'm not as depressed as I was last year when turned twenty *shudder*.
I finally decided what to go to school for, yay! I hope to become a paramedic. Probably I will just go get certified and start with volunteer work as an EMT basic, (which is the first of three levels of EMT, the last being Paramedic) and then go to community college and go deeper into it if I'm good at it. I hope to maybe end up as a full-on Paramedic and maybe even go into the Coast Guard or something like that.
Here's a big one, I FINALLY took my GED test. I've been putting that off for a long time sadly. Now I'm just waiting for the results... and waiting and waiting and waiting... While on that topic, I'd like to say that home schooling sucks ass. Seriously, it's so much like isolation from the outside world. I will never home school my children, if I ever have any that is.
I have a new baby niece, Joelle. She's a sweetie.
I have three dogs now. I can't remember if I mentioned that before. Cheyenne, Bo-bo and Caleb. All German Shepherds. Good puppies, but total pains in the ass.
Lately most of my time is spent watching TV, which depresses me a bit, but at least I do enjoy watching TV. I'm just tired of waiting on something else to happen.
What else?... Hmmm... Oh! I recently played paintball for the first time and decided I'm totally hooked! My new favorite sport.
That's pretty much all that's new in my life as far as the physical realm. As for my emotional/mental state... Here's the part where I ramble on about my feelings and the things that piss me off and whatnot.
I'm so tired of feeling alone, I have so many walls, I'm starting to feel very hollow. I'm so tired of feeling useless, I just want to do something good. I'm so tired of feeling afraid or self-conscious. I'm so tired of searching for peace and contentment and not finding it! I'm so tired of people calling me a coward. I'm even called a coward by my best friend these days. Okay, I am a bit of a coward in some ways, but it hurts to hear it all the time. I'm so tired of taking my whole family onto my shoulders, I am not the strong one, certainly out of my five siblings someone else should be better suited to take care of this family. I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut when something upsets me, just to avoid an argument or fight that is inevitable anyways. I used to speak my mind, why did that change?
Anyway, that's it for now.